I never want to look back at my life one day and regret not having taken chances and overcoming my fears.
I want to make sure that I grab all of my opportunities, so that I should not have to ask the heartrending question, "what if?"
Certain experiences in my life have made me realize that taking chances instead of fearing the outcomes has improved my life and overall happiness.
The summer entering my junior year of high school, I was switching from my private school in the city back to my local school district. I had last been in the school district when I was in third grade, so this meant that I would be reunited with kids that I used to know. I had changed a lot over my years in private school, though. As a third grader, I was very shy, sensitive and did not easily make friends. Throughout my years, however, I overcame my sensitivity and shyness through hard work, and improved my social and interpersonal skills. I was sort of nervous to reunite with the kids that I used to go to school with, especially because I thought that they would still view me as a shy, overly-sensitive girl.
Let's look at two case scenarios, and how each turned out:
1. On my first day of school, I was placed in the same class as a girl with whom I did not get along when I last saw her. I didn't say anything, but rather wondered how the year would turn out.
The next day, I was assigned a seat next to hers. I sat in my seat, wanting to speak to somebody because I didn't want to be labeled as the quiet new girl. I wanted to make friends and make the best of my junior year. I noticed that she was writing an inspirational quote on a notecard and was interested in what it was for. Being that I used the technique of writing inspirational quotes to myself when overcoming my anxiety, I wondered if she was dealing with something personal. So, I struck up a conversation with her and ended up learning a little bit about her. She asked questions about me and I started off the year and my relationship with her on a good note. I felt really good about that. The next day, I saw her by our locker sand wasn't sure about whether I should say hi or not. I decided that it would be a friendly gesture, so said hi. She responded with a big smile and asked me how my year was going. She even offered for me to sit with her at lunch when i told her I didn't know anybody in my lunch period (we ended up having different lunches though). It felt so good to be on positive terms with her.
I always think back to that one moment. What if I had not said anything to her? I would think of her as I had thought of her when we were kids- mean, and that she didn't like me.
Although we are not friends today, we are friendly to each other and say hi every so often. It makes me feel good to know that I was able to show myself as a changed person, and to cultivate a relationship with someone I had been on bad terms with previously.
2. There was another girl in the school with whom I had been on good terms when I left the school district in third grade. We were never close friends, but I remembered her being really nice and friendly. She was and still is the type of girl I would like to be friends with. I knew that she remembered me because I had friended her on Facebook some time before (I felt embarrassed by that because I ended up not saying anything to her when I saw her) and she had accepted me. Anyway, I saw her on the first day of school in the bathroom. I wasn't sure if I should say hi to her and feared that I would seem weird if I did because we didn't actually know each other well. So, I ended up not saying anything. I still don't know if I should have, but we had a class together all year and she was always really sweet and seemed interested in getting to know me. I wish now that I had turned out to be better friends with her, and had started a conversation with her.
Two years later, she still notices me when she sees me and I only wish that I would have just asked her a question or complimented her (sincerely) to start a conversation.
Moral of these stories and these posts is to take chances. In the second case, I was given many, but never grabbed at any of them. I wish I had. So what if we ended up not being friends. At least I would have made a move (even if it took a couple- not everything comes together right away).
So, take these tips:
- People change- give them chances. Just as you have gone through experiences, so have others.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt- just like you would want them to give to you.
- Don't think too much- if it's not life-threatening, take a chance. If you are placed in the position and are given the perfect circumstances, why not?
- People are usually nice when you are nice to them- so just be friendly
- Sometimes you just need to let things unfold- all you need is a spark (your starting a conversation or smiling at somebody) and the rest will work itself out.
So go and live your life to its fullest.
Don't think, worry, or stress too much about outcomes. If it's meant to work out, it will. Just be the spark and watch the rest of the story unfold.
Sometimes there won't be a story, but that's ok too. The important point is that you made your move and you will know that for yourself.
Some songs that came to my mind when writing this:
I have always loved this song, and always will.
One of my favorite songs- the message is clear: If you want it, go for it. If it's meant to be, it will be.