There Is Good To Come

Two weeks on Shabbat before going to sleep I asked G-d to give me a sign that I am on the right path in life and that He is guiding me in the right direction even when it may not seem so. With all the craziness in the world and uncertainty these days, others are also starting to think more about their choices and actions. Although I believe that G-d communicates with us through every occurrence in our lives, it’s easy to forget that even the seemingly small messages hold weight.

The next day someone gave a speech in synagogue. He touched on the idea that there is so much good to come that we don’t even know about. Life leads us to wonderful things we can’t even imagine. Then the rabbi started talking about how G-d does everything with purpose and love and looks out for us every step of the way. We shouldn’t worry but rather should have trust and faith- emunah and bitachon.

When I got home, I decided to read a book I had last read months ago. I left off randomly in the middle of that chapter. The exact spot I began to read said the following: Majority of the defining events in Abraham’s life occured when he was over 70. When we read the Torah we don’t even focus on many of the events that occurred in his younger years. Some of the most monumental and defining experiences happened later on his life. G-d doesn’t forget you and you’re not running behind. Just because you might not be where you believe you are meant to be at this point in time, it doesn’t mean you’re not on the right path. We have to get to where we are ready and meant to be, to experience everything else that is yet to come. The text literally said, “don’t worry…you are where you need to be.”

As we head into Shabbat, during which we refrain from creating and planning so that we can devote time to our relationship with Hashem, this is an important reminder that I want to share: there is a greater plan and purpose. Even when things seem confusing, they’re not. We just can’t see the bigger picture. We are where we need to be. There is good to come. We just have to be able to see it.

My Most Monumental Year Yet

 Well, it's been a year since I last wrote a blog post and let's just say there has been hell of a lot of content that I never got to write out and process because everything was utter chaos. 

The funny thing is how much I actually love chaos. I've learned that I actually function well in chaos. 

As a kid, I always had two major fears: change and the unknown. You might be thinking that everyone has those fears. However, when you struggle with chronic anxiety, absolutely everything is dramatically augmented. So when I say "fears," I mean chronic panic, stress, and fight or flight response modes. 

That's the first point I want to make. I went from living with chronic anxiety that made me physically sick and unable to function- to appreciating and mastering those things that fermented my anxiety in the first place. As I have gotten older, I have seen the bigger picture of my life and why things have had to happen the way they did. All of those challenges and hardships have led to my being able to conquer the very next thing. If not for those previous challenges, I wouldn't be able to proudly stand here today and say I made it. 

The way that life seems to work (oftentimes) is that once you overcome one challenge, the next one pops up. Often the next challenge is even harder than the previous. If not, then we are even better equipped to handle those issues that make their way in our direction. We don't always understand why we must face these things. It's frustrating. 

For me, I have seen how each challenge has better prepared me for the next and made me into the person I know I must be if I want to lead the life I desire. I am sure that if you pan out all the things you had to overcome throughout your lifetime, you will come to the same conclusion about your life experience. 

This year was the hardest year of my life. 

The crazy thing is that in the end, I have come to realize that while everything seemed to be falling apart... everything was actually coming together in the most amazing and beautiful way possible. 

I was actually blessed to experience those challenges because the alternatives would have been way worse. And half the time I didn't even have to do the work. I just had to step back, have faith in G-d and the journey He had paved for me, and follow my gut.

I have always known what I wanted in life. Usually, I can tackle hurdles head-on. I am not afraid to keep trying something repeatedly when I have my eye on the prize and I can see it so clearly even if it's not already present in my life. 

However, I got to a place where I was settling for less than I knew I deserved. I was setting for less out of those around me, my day-to-day experiences, environments, and energy. I was willing to accept people and things that didn't serve me or allow me to reach my full potential. And when I was unsure of how to let those people and things go, G-d made it easy and freed me from that which I didn't know how to walk away from. 

The crazy thing is that G-d gave me the exact amount of time I had prayed for. When that time was up, He opened up a pathway for me that was greater than I could have ever imagined. 

Imagine being so upset about something, only to then realize that it was the greatest blessing and you got what you actually wanted all along. You were holding onto something that you thought was the answer when all along you had to let that thing go so that you can actually have what you want. It's just on the other side of taking a leap of faith, demanding better for yourself, and following your intuition.

This part of my life taught me to stop fighting the currents of life. I am so stubborn (a true Taurus) and sometimes it hinders me. Be patient. I didn't let G-d finish His sentence and I was already frustrated and throwing tantrums. 

I have had the opportunity to be and see places and things I thought I would only get to experience many years from now, if ever. G-d literally plucked me out of a place where I wasn't happy anyway and put me exactly where I wanted to be all along- with the very people, opportunities, and experiences I had been praying for. I am still in shock about how perfectly my life came together after what seemed and felt like the worst storm. 

I write this now because it took me this long to realize all of this. 

I don't blame myself. This year was literally nonstop for me. 

Then I found myself sitting in my apartment today, not able to sit still because I have gotten so used to having something that I need to do. I finally let myself shut everything off- the phone, the iPad, the laptop... and just be. Process. The craziest year of my life has come to a close. It feels refreshing. Even better, I got to end off this year around people I love, in my favorite city, while working my dream jobs, and being everything I ever desired. While speaking to a friend right after the clock struck 12, he asked me if I felt like I had bounced back from the challenges I experienced throughout the year. At that moment, processing everything around me and feeling the immense joy and gratitude I felt for it all, I was so happy to finally be able to say yes. 

I am in awe of how things work in life. Like how does so much pain and sadness lead to so much happiness and fulfillment? I might not have the full answer right now, but I am so grateful I have had the opportunity to learn this now, at such a young age. Now I can move forward in life with more confidence and trust, knowing that even when things seem unbearable, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be more beautiful and freeing than where I was coming from. 

If I ask for something and work towards it, I will find a way to it. The journey might not be easy, but it's absolutely worth it when you find what; 's on the other end of it. 

It's funny because when 2023 came, I really thought it was going to be my year. I was so excited. I couldn't understand how my positivity and effort towards growth and happiness led to such unhappiness. Then I realized that this really was my year. 

It was the year I fell in love with myself. It was the year I became the most confident I have ever been. It was the year I learned and grew tremendously in every aspect- academically, in my career, personally, in my relationships, and even spiritually. I have done so many things I wanted to do but was too scared to do.  It was the year I met some of the most impactful and healing people- people with whom I needed to cross paths for a reason. It was the year I loved my coworkers and my friends, and every moment was filled with excitement and mystery. Running into celebrities and getting to meet some of the most inspiring people whom I've been following for years. Getting to be in what feels like the center of the world to me. 

Thank You G-d. 

Everyone is posting their ins and outs for 2024 and here are some of mine:

Out: jumping to conclusions, being impatient, tolerating people and things that hinder my growth and happiness, negativity and bad energy

In: trusting G-d, daily prayer, expressing more gratitude, time with people I love and appreciate, following my gut and listening to my intuition, being kind to myself 

Here is to another year filled with magic, success, and growth. 

The Message You Need to Hear

Is there something you have been wanting or needing to do, but your fear or excuses have been holding you back?

Perhaps you're telling yourself that you need to learn more first, or that you don't have your "plan" figured out. 

Maybe you keep telling yourself that you'll start tomorrow, or when you feel "ready."

Well, guess what...

It is time that you STOP waiting. 

Simply start.

Often times, the first step is the scariest. Often times, it's also the hardest.

What I have learned is that I really only truly learn and overcome fear when I'm actually taking action.
Also, it is the action I am afraid to take that often liberates me. Once I take the first step, everything else becomes less scary and feels way more attainable. 

One reminder that has always helped me to take the first step, is that the world won't end if things don't work out as expected. The sun will still rise and and set. Life will still go on. New opportunities and ideas will still come to you. 

I would rather look back and say, "at least I tried," instead of thinking, "what if I tried?"
So here are some ways to take that first step if you have been holding yourself back:

1. Write out an action plan. What are your first, second and third steps?
2. Work backwards. Think about end goal and meditate on what you needed to do to get there. 
3. Hold yourself accountable or have someone else hold you accountable and hold you to your word and commitment to taking action. 
4. Write yourself reminders and place them where you are sure to see them.

There Is No Room to Be Angry About the Struggle

 “As long as you are alive, you are going to experience struggle- and that is okay. Reward yourself for your victories and be honest about your failings. But there is no room to be angry about the struggle itself; that’s how it is meant to be.”

When I read this excerpt in “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid” by Michal Oshman, who is the head of culture at TikTok Europe and former leadership expert at Facebook, I felt very impacted by it. 

Just like many others, anxiety has always been a majorly present factor in my life. In particular, I have always felt the need to control and understand everything. And if I couldn’t… fear and panic would take over. Over time, I learned to manage and cope. However, I couldn’t truly just let go of needing control over what and how things happen.

There have been several major “aha” moments in my life, and this was one of them. It was one of those moments where all of a sudden so many things made sense, and I couldn’t have come to this understanding and conclusion if not for all of the things that I experienced that I previously could not understand why I had to struggle through them. What a paradox! 

All of a sudden so many things I was constantly questioning their necessity and why they had to happen…. were actually exactly what I needed to come to learn this major lesson in my life that seems to be the key to my understanding it all. In a sense, the answers I have been seeking were hidden within the chaos and confusion itself.

I am even going to be so bold as to claim that the answers ARE the chaos and confusion. How?

Because they are exactly what we need and are meant to experience. Instead of questioning why we go through certain things, we should look at occurrences- both the good and the bad- as direction regarding where we can and need to grow in life… which is what life is all about- constantly evolving. 

What I need to learn and grow through are completely different from others, and vice versa. Which is another reason why comparison to others makes actual zero sense. 

💡The answers are within the questions themselves. You just have to get to that point where you can be a vessel to understand the truth. Meaning, you absolutely must work through the chaos to even be able to understand that which you desire to understand. I have always heard that “things are how they are meant to be” but it sounded so cliche to me. Even though I believe in G-d and that things happen for a reason and everyone has a purpose and particular mission…. I didn’t really internalize  and conceptualize what that meant…. until this moment. 

👉🏻 It’s true that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. For a very long time I had been trying to internalize this message and live by it, but I couldn’t. It didn’t really make sense to me though I felt like it should. But when you can internalize that things are as they are meant to be and so there is really no need to dread or fight the struggle, you can understand that if that is true…. then it only makes sense that everything really does happen for you and not to you because things are supposed to be that certain way (often times for reasons we won’t understand and that’s okay). If xyz are supposed to be part of your life, it’s good that they’re there. Which leads me to my next point. 

🗣 Everything in our lives is here to teach us a lesson, help us grow, and make us who we are supposed to be. I believe I have my particular strengths because I am meant to play a certain role and complete a particular mission in this world. So too for everyone else. 

It’s so simple and undeniably true. 

But not until you can get to the point of understanding it.

And the only way to get there is to work through your own personal struggles and fears and shortcomings (though it sometimes sucks 😢). 

Even when things seem to be complicated, they’re not. They’re simply what they are and we just need to understand that things are meant to be a certain way… and so they will be… and that’s okay. That’s part of our journey. 

Which also made me realize how much I’ve overcomplicated things, though then again I am only human after all 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

And if that’s the case, then the final conclusion is that we are to give up trying to have full control while focusing on what we can change, find the lessons within the struggles so as to learn and grow from them, and simply enjoy life for everything it is and isn’t meant to be. 

There’s nothing to argue or hate or be angry about. 

It quite simply is. 

And there is so much undeniable peace in that. 

———————————

I will conclude this by sharing the serenity prayer, with which I am absolutely obsessed: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

How to be happy despite conflicts and struggles | from a psychiatrist

Currently reading Let Us Make Man by Psychiatrist Dr. Abrahama Twersky.

He makes several points about self-esteem and happiness that really expanded my views on these topics.

Happiness can exist without 100% contentment
We are never going to be fully content. As humans, that is not natural. We are always striving for more and better.
We can be striving and not fully satisfied YET happy at the same time.
Happiness can coexist with discontent.
It allowed me to feel I have the permission and ability to not have everything I want/need and still be happy. 
Sometimes I feel that I need to work harder to earn that happiness, but this reminds it is natural to want more, yet should not confine ourselves to only allowing ourselves to feel happy when we attain that said thing.

We don't always know the meaning that things have.
As humans, we have limited capacity to understand things on a higher level. That is, limited perspective. We see things happening to us on only one level and from one angle. We don't know what it could mean for us in the future and why those things happen. Ever have something seemingly negative happen and then you realize later on that it had a higher place and purpose in your life?

It's good to have faith
If not in G-d or higher power or force... then in the idea that there are things happening that we could not possibly understand how it could be good in any way.
Related to the topic above: there could be something beyond har we see, know and comprehend. 
Trust that your suffering or challenges are not in vain, that there is some transcendental purpose. While it does not remove the pain or answer why these things happen to us, it can give us the courage and strength to deal with tragedy and struggles.

Accepting adversity with happiness 
Accepting adversity with happiness in the sense of faith and trust allows us to feel joy from other events in life that warrant true joy. 

Accept that conflict is natural and so choose to be happy despite it 
We are so obsessed with resolving conflict, that we forget that we can still be happy despite it. We instead must learn to cope with it and overcome it. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

4 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears | Chronic Anxiety to LOVING Life

I talk a lot about fear and anxiety that I have overcome. 

I want to share with you how I have overcome my fears so well, that I am doing things today that I could have only dreamed about 10 years ago.  

Overcoming fears takes a lot of energy and you have to be intentional because it is unlikely that you will overcome them if you don't try to. 

Sometimes we grow out of our fears but here I am talking about those ideas and beliefs that you have ingrained in you and may be causing issues for you as you grow older. 

Watch the Youtube video here

Also, you want to face the root of your issues because once you do, you understand why you have other struggles. Overcoming my core fears and understanding how they have affected me has allowed me to lead an overall healthier and more fulfilling life. 

#1: Become aware of your fears

You need clarity when it comes to understanding your psychology. Take time to be with yourself and reflect. 

Write them down. list them out. 

#2: Meditate on how developed and from where they come

Think about your childhood, thought patterns, how you were raised, etc. 

Clarity comes through reflection.

Try to think back to when those fears or unhealthy thoughts started. What is your first memory of your fear?

Through thinking about it all you can come to understand your own psychology and how things played out in your life. 

You can pick up on things you didn't before. 

#3: List out how they help you and how they hinder you  

Realize the roles they play in your life. 

Ex: fear of not being perfect hinders me because it overwhelms me with the idea that if I'm not perfect then I'm not enough which leads into a self-esteem issue and lack of self-worth. It helps me because it motivates me to be involved, active and get more done.  

#4: Run towards them, put yourself in situations where you face your fears

Fear is a mechanism for survival.

Do not avoid your fears, embrace them. 

Use it to your advantage to propel you forward.

You can even try to work backwards- starting from where you want to be and thinking about what you would need to do to get there/that. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

WHY I Stopped Watching TV!!| Careful With What I Consume| Alternative Enterntainment

I don't even know how to use one 😂

I know, may sound pathetic and maybe even stupid.

But I have no FOMO when people are talking about their favorite shows and the "funny" or "cool" stuff they see on TV.

I wasn't ever really much of a "binger" anyway. Let alone even watching tv regularly. Last time I watched a series it was Game of Thrones and I honestly think that show scarred me🤣😕

Watcht the youtube video here.

Please don't think I'm looking down at those who love TV or who gain a lot from it. This is for those of you who need a healthy separation from TV/shows/movies (you know who you are) and/or just want to not want to watch TV and need some more inspiration/ideas to step back.

I also want to clarify that I do still watch TV and movies, though it is rare and I am very careful with what I consume. In general, I think it's a good idea to be selective when it comes to what you consume, whether it be food, content, and time with people. Everything effects your energy- protect it. 

Here are the reasons I stopped watching TV and why I am SO SO SO happy that I don't:

1. Why am I watching other people lead fake lives instead of living my own and making my own life my dream life? This thought always gnawed at me. It was in high school when I really stopped caring about tv shows. If I did watch any, it was on youtube and they were the old-school ones like Even Stevens and That's So Raven (still love them and I'm in my mid-twenties lol). They're funny, more relatable, not overwhelming or showing content that will make me feel like the world might come to an end, and are awesome throwbacks.

Also, I was just too busy (in a good way) getting my own stuff done.

Breaks? Consisted of reading, walking, hanging out with friends, working on my passions... LIVING LIFE!! I want to be out here making my dreams come true, working on myself, actually falling in love instead of watching two characters "cry for each other" for whatever made-up reason, making the money so that I can lead a happy lifestyle rather than watch characters on TV go shopping and talk about their (actually🤪) fake friends and over-the-top drama. 

And I am too good for it too. And so are you. We have so much potential and we spend how much time in front of a screen? Include your phone, laptop, etc.

2. What you watch has a real effect on you. This is a big one for me. Maybe because I'm sensitive to violence and other frightening things like war and gory images that even combat servicemen and women actually get PTSD from!! And I'm a nurse, people!! I've seen scary stuff but that's a whole other game!!

Point is: our subconscious is affected by seeing this stuff. The emotions we feel from watching other people die and/or suffer... our brain can't tell the difference between something we think about and something that actually happened (Joe Dispenza, check him out). Again, servicemembers suffer from PTSD and depression from seeing this stuff and we are choosing to watch it?!

Perhaps some people like the thrill, but this all affects me so much so that I still remember some scenes from movies I saw long ago that I wish I could forget. People murdering each other with their hands (so not normal and I just wrote that out like it was nothing), inappropriate content that should be special between two people but is being made into a choreographed dance of explicitness (you wouldn't want your family members up there doing that, but you're perfectly fine watching someone else's).

What are people taking away from these things?
Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, misunderstanding of what real connection between people actually is, all the dramatic world-coming-to-an-end catastrophic play. 
It's honestly exhausting. 

I've never watched one of those cop shows or the ones where terrorists have taken over... I've seen some parts here and there but quickly feel exhausted just from watching these actors running, screaming, and crying all the time.

Do you think it's healthy for somebody to be watching a show like Game of Thrones that has so much blood, war, and x-rated content? Sure, it may be entertaining. That's what these producers and actors are here for. Why do you think they make so much cha-ching💸? I personally just think it's kind of crazy for people to be consuming content filled with so much reference to violence, death, and the other factors I mentioned.

3. I hate all the hidden messages! Let's face it. TV shows and movies can be/are so political. There are so many hidden messages and ways that producers and writers sneak in their world views on those who consume their content. Maybe I sound like an old fart, but I must say even Disney channel shows have turned to garbage. The old ones were 🥰 but the ones today are all about broken homes, parents too dumb for their own kids, and conformity with political movements which may or may not be a positive thing. Let's not even talk about the inappropriate add-ins. Watching some of these shows with my younger siblings... I get shocked. I don't even want to hear this stuff and this is what their young minds are consuming? 

I want to provide some alternatives for you guys.

1. Get rid of certain channels (or the TV entirely😛). I know y'all think I'm crazy. My parents got rid of our TV when I was in middle school LOL, and it was honestly great. I spent more time on other more valuable things, never had to deal with the struggle of trying to get myself away from the TV, and eventually became this person who doesn't care for it. 

2. Utilize Youtube and/or other forms of entertainment. I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching educational and personal development content (and creating it too here😝). I've probably read the equivalent of 100 books in the amount of content I've consumed about healthy living, personal growth, self-improvement, career development, psychology, science, marketing, business, etc. SO MUCH AMAZING CONTENT that is actually worth my time. Focus on that stuff. You deserve it. Give it to yourself. Allow yourself the time to be your best. And the great thing is that I can listen to them anywhere and anytime.
Books and audiobooks
Music
Making time for a hobby or a side gig
Sending more time with your family
Getting involved in your community
Actually relaxing your tired brain after work and just sitting and drinking tea or that glass of wine you treat yourself to every night. Turn on some relaxing music instead to wind down. Compare this to cop car sirens and explosions in your favorite shows 😅. Allow your brain to actually get a break.
Treating yourself to a nice long bath.
Getting more sleep. A big one! How many of you can say you are guilty of going to bed late because of a show/movie and not getting the recommended (and needed- studies show) 7.5-8 hours of sleep? Actually treat your body and mind to a real gift that it NEEDS- SLEEP!

Act now, thank me later 😉

3. Make a plan for yourself for what you will do instead of watching TV/movies regularly. What will you do on the weekends? ake other plans? Explore the city, watch a documentary, invite some friends over, go to a karaoke bar...
Preferably do this after step 1 🤓

Did I miss anything? What do you guys do to relax or unwind from the day that doesn't involve TV/movies?

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

4 Best Ways to Stay Consistent | REACH YOUR GOALS

I always had this desire to be a good cook. I started practicing cooking when I was a teenager, but I wasn't all that great at it. 

I remember I made cookies one time. They were the ones that were frozen and you just had to defrost them. I put them in the oven and I burned them and it was a whole mess. 

Ever since then my siblings would make fun of me about my lack of baking and cooking skills and whenever I would make something, nobody would want to try it and this was just years of me being the butt of the joke when it came to not knowing how to cook. 

Over the years I was just trying but I wasn’t so successful, mainly because I just wasn’t consistent. I would tell myself that I would start cooking and baking and I only ended up cooking or baking about once a month, if even. 

Fast forward to a couple of years later when I started living at home again. I also had food sensitivities so I couldn't eat a lot of the foods that I was eating before.

So I started having to cook for myself because I just wanted to eat something that tasted good and that wouldn’t hurt me. 

I started cooking more consistently and I remember thinking to myself that one day I’m going to make something so good and everyone is going to want to eat it or I’m just going to end up being a really good cook and cooking is going to work out for me and I’m no longer going to be making jokes about myself about how I can't cook. 

That time has finally come. Thank G-d, LOL. 

It has been already several dishes that I’ve made and crafted on my own I thought of the ingredients and everything surrounding the dish which to me is a pretty big deal. I remember always looking at my sisters who are really good at cooking and they would always just put stuff together and it would come out really good and then I would follow a recipe that was supposed to be so good but it would turn out awful

I’ve actually come to a point in my life where I am somewhat considered to be a good cook. I guess according to my standards LOL. From the feedback that I received from my family and they are very particular. 

I want to talk about how I was able to stay consistent to become a (relatively) good cook and baker. 

The first thing that I want to recommend that you guys do if you’re trying to stay consistent is to have a goal plan. 

I like to make plans for everything. I find planning goals to be extremely helpful. For everything that I’ve done in my life, I’ve always had a plan. 

How am I going to reach my goals? 

What am I specifically going to do? 

When am I going to do those things? How am I going to do those things? 

There was a time when I didn’t have as much access to a kitchen. So I didn’t actually have a way to improve on my cooking. 

Side tip: be specific with your goals and how you will achieve them.

Making sure that I have access to the kitchen and to the ingredients that I need. I know it sounds so simple and obvious, but it’s such a major point. Because there are so many times that I didn’t even have the things that I needed and so I ended up just not cooking. So now I make sure that I have everything that I need to cook.

The second thing that I’ve always made sure to do is to journal. I’ve been journaling all my life but I started taking it very seriously at the start of this new year 2020. 

I told myself that I will journal every single day about what I was proud of, what I was disappointed about, how I was thinking, what I was feeling. What I ate and how I felt after I ate.

Now that January is coming to an end, I am looking through my month. I write things that I wanted to do and successfully did, and then also things that I wanted to do but didn’t do.

Then you look back and you realize that this is why you have or haven’t been improving. You are eating a ton of sugar, for example, and that is why you haven’t been feeling better or haven’t been reaching your fitness goals. When you look back you realize that you have been eating too much sugar to reach your goals. You realize more than you would’ve realized had you not taking notes of it.

The next tip is to do at least one thing every single day that brings you closer to your goal. Or this can be every two days or several times a week or even once a week. It depends on you. Be proud of your goals and don’t compare them to someone else’s. This is your journey and something that has to work for you not for your best friends or for your parents.

There is a thin technique that I learned from one of the books that I’m reading. It’s super simple. 

Instead of just thinking that you’re going to do something or not do something, you’re going to say it out loud that you are going to do it or you’re not going to do it. 

So for example, if I know that I need to consistently cook to improve on my skills and to perfect the skills that I already have and to find the best way to make the recipes... I will tell myself in the morning, "today I’m going to make myself lunch instead of just thinking it. I’m going to make myself this dish that I want to perfect and try it out maybe even in a different way and have one of my sisters try it out." 

Make it a consistent benchmark that you’re going to use to get consistently better at your goals. 

Keep yourself accountable. If I didn’t cook for myself then I just wouldn’t be able to eat anything that I liked. I don’t wanna just be sitting there and eating cucumbers, tomatoes, and mushrooms because that’s so boring. That’s the repercussion of not cooking for myself. 

For when I try not to reach for a sugary snack... I will say out loud I am choosing not to eat this because if I do eat this bar then I won’t feel good. I will probably feel a bit sick and especially if I’m going to work out today I will feel sluggish and I will also feel disappointed in myself for not keeping to my goals.

I just look at all of the different issues and negative things about eating that sugary snack. Or if I do eat that snack and I end up not feeling all that great afterward then I sit down and have a conversation with myself to go over the reasons why I’m not feeling well and what those reasons may have to do with the snack. 

I ask myself if I do X, Y or Z am I going to be able to write that I am proud of that or that I’m disappointed about that when I go to my journaling at night. 

I always ask myself the questions:

Will this hurt you or will it hinder you? 

Will this make you feel good or make you feel bad in the long run?

Is it helping me achieve my goals or is it moving me further away from achieving my goals? 

Making your goals a necessity. For me, cooking for myself and not eating a lot of sugary things is a necessity because those are ways that I can make sure that I feel good throughout the day. It for you it’s trying to get yourself to work out regularly, then that is a necessity because by not working out and sticking to that goal you don’t feel as confident, you feel sluggish, you feel like you’re putting on weight which doesn’t feel all that great. 

When you start to think of your goals from a different perspective it starts to play out a greater role in value in your life. 

And remember that this is all about having it be long-term. It’s not just about feeling good for five minutes or a day or a week. It’s about feeling good for life. It's about your lifestyle. Create a lifestyle that works for you in order to have a life you enjoy. 

Think of all of the amazing changes that are going to occur if you start being consistent about reaching your goals. Within just a couple of weeks, you could feel so much better. Even in just one day or a week.

I hope you guys enjoyed my video and this article! Make sure to subscribe and follow for more content :)

To view the video version of this blog post, go here!

#consistencyiskey #reachyourdreams #howtostayconsistent #focusongoals #productivelifestyle #personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

3-Step Technique To Liberate Yourself From Anxiety And Fear

There are 3 steps to liberating yourself from your weaknesses and fears.

1️⃣ Realize what your weaknesses and fears are

2️⃣ Come to terms with them

3️⃣ Embrace them wholeheartedly

Yes, wholeheartedly. ❤️

Some might say, "well, why to embrace them rather than fight them off?"

Because: weaknesses and fears are NORMAL. We are meant to have them. Our role is to learn how to use them to propel us forward. 

We will never be %1000 fearless and I would hope not. I don't want you jumping out of a plane thousands of feet in the air or reaching for a hot stove without first thinking it through really well. I don't want you making a decision that will determine your future without being really sure it's right for you. 

(WATCH THE FULL YOUTUBE VIDEO HERE). 

Having that bit of anxiety is healthy. It's using it to our advantage that is the trick and the goal here. 

Having overcome chronic anxiety myself, there are three steps that allowed me to fully embrace my fears and weaknesses. It took me a lot of time to adopt this view of life. I needed to undergo certain experiences and used trial and error to perfect my outline of how to go about doing this in a way that wouldn't be too overwhelming for me. 

Okay, so let's get to it. 👍🏻

1. Realizing and understanding what your fears are, is itself extremely liberating. Define what exactly it is that makes you nervous, holds back from doing what needs to be done and from fulfilling your dreams, and makes you want to perhaps even change your entire direction in life. There was a time when I felt so overwhelmed with my dreams and the things I would have to do to achieve them (put myself out there, risk rejection and negative feedback, etc) that I thought that perhaps it wasn't worth it and I should start looking for something easier. 

NOOOO. I quickly came to the realization that I'd rather risk embarrassment doing what I dream of than staying in a safe haven (which isn't really all that safe because that turns into disappointment and resentment) and holding back from my true mission. 

Make it very clear and understandable for yourself what these things are. 

Write them down.

When starting something, go over this list. 

Which leads me to point two.

2. Accept that you feel this way. Yes, you are nervous people might think you're stupid or lame or a horrible singer or artist or whatever. AND THAT'S OKAY.  That's not your problem. Your problem is getting over this hump and you're freakin' doing it!! So your problem is solved. You will never control others' opinions and the things people say/do. And that's not your role or responsibility. Your responsibility is to yourself. 

Accept that this is the reality at the moment. 

Remember, the only way you overcome fear is by doing that which you're afraid of. 

The only way I got over my phobia of spiders (couldn't even look at drawings of them) was by exposing myself to them. At 11, I forced myself to go to sleepaway camp. My father, a psychiatrist who was even more desperate than (lol) for me to get over my phobia, would collect insects in empty jars and containers and leave them on our porch so I could use them for exposure therapy😂

Sooo... the best and really only thing you can do is just accept the fact that you experience these emotions and act on these dreams and goals anyway. Hell yeah💪🏼

3. Finally... give all those fears and anxiety-ridding dreams and the failures and the wins and losses that came with them A HUGE HUG. You are so many wonderful things, and it's amazing that you aren't perfect. Life would be boring if you were. People don't find true joy and pride in the things that come easily to them. These are your struggles and you're doing something about them. You are way ahead of the game. Think of all the people who took their dreams to the grave with them. Think of all those who looked back at their lives and wished they had the guts to do all the things they were too scared to do. In the end, we all die. The people whose opinions we fear will be dead. And if you screw up... no one will be alive to tell it anyway. 

That's how I like to think about it: if you become super successful, then great, you did it. If not and you feel embarrassed about it, don't worry because no one will remember you anyway right? Either way, you'll be okay. But you'd sure as hell rather take the chance and know you at least tried. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes