There Is Good To Come

Two weeks on Shabbat before going to sleep I asked G-d to give me a sign that I am on the right path in life and that He is guiding me in the right direction even when it may not seem so. With all the craziness in the world and uncertainty these days, others are also starting to think more about their choices and actions. Although I believe that G-d communicates with us through every occurrence in our lives, it’s easy to forget that even the seemingly small messages hold weight.

The next day someone gave a speech in synagogue. He touched on the idea that there is so much good to come that we don’t even know about. Life leads us to wonderful things we can’t even imagine. Then the rabbi started talking about how G-d does everything with purpose and love and looks out for us every step of the way. We shouldn’t worry but rather should have trust and faith- emunah and bitachon.

When I got home, I decided to read a book I had last read months ago. I left off randomly in the middle of that chapter. The exact spot I began to read said the following: Majority of the defining events in Abraham’s life occured when he was over 70. When we read the Torah we don’t even focus on many of the events that occurred in his younger years. Some of the most monumental and defining experiences happened later on his life. G-d doesn’t forget you and you’re not running behind. Just because you might not be where you believe you are meant to be at this point in time, it doesn’t mean you’re not on the right path. We have to get to where we are ready and meant to be, to experience everything else that is yet to come. The text literally said, “don’t worry…you are where you need to be.”

As we head into Shabbat, during which we refrain from creating and planning so that we can devote time to our relationship with Hashem, this is an important reminder that I want to share: there is a greater plan and purpose. Even when things seem confusing, they’re not. We just can’t see the bigger picture. We are where we need to be. There is good to come. We just have to be able to see it.

Let Go of Control

For the longest time I struggled to let go of needing to control even things that I knew I had no control over. 

I would work myself to exhaustion, not allow myself to fully enjoy any breaks from my hard work, and would feel guilty whenever I wasn’t being “productive.”

Because I was so hard on myself, I would never feel a sense of fulfillment. No matter how hard I worked. I found myself completely unhappy, and even desperate for that self acceptance that I would never get while stuck in that mindset. 

A lot of the lessons that I have learned in life, I have learned through those around me. As I always say, other people are our second greatest teachers. The greatest teacher is life itself. 

And I have learned from both other people and from life, that working yourself beyond full capacity and trying to control everything in the process, is never going to lead to fulfillment and happiness.

I realized that the people who would put in their honest effort, and then step back and let everything else work out for them, were the happiest and the ones who usually actually had things work out for them. 

Once I learned to let go, I became a much happier and healthier person. 

But it took me several years to be able to get to that point in life. 

I started living by the idea that the universe has my back. And since I have been able to truly believe and live that, I have seen so much more from life. 

I started truly living by the fact that everything is always really working out for me as long as I am putting in my honest effort and taking aligned action.

I have a newfound sense of peace and self-love. I have a newfound love for life itself. I don’t wake up in the morning with severe anxiety. I wake up looking forward to all the things that I will get to do- all the things I love and that bring me purpose.

All because of a mindset shift.

The Message You Need to Hear

Is there something you have been wanting or needing to do, but your fear or excuses have been holding you back?

Perhaps you're telling yourself that you need to learn more first, or that you don't have your "plan" figured out. 

Maybe you keep telling yourself that you'll start tomorrow, or when you feel "ready."

Well, guess what...

It is time that you STOP waiting. 

Simply start.

Often times, the first step is the scariest. Often times, it's also the hardest.

What I have learned is that I really only truly learn and overcome fear when I'm actually taking action.
Also, it is the action I am afraid to take that often liberates me. Once I take the first step, everything else becomes less scary and feels way more attainable. 

One reminder that has always helped me to take the first step, is that the world won't end if things don't work out as expected. The sun will still rise and and set. Life will still go on. New opportunities and ideas will still come to you. 

I would rather look back and say, "at least I tried," instead of thinking, "what if I tried?"
So here are some ways to take that first step if you have been holding yourself back:

1. Write out an action plan. What are your first, second and third steps?
2. Work backwards. Think about end goal and meditate on what you needed to do to get there. 
3. Hold yourself accountable or have someone else hold you accountable and hold you to your word and commitment to taking action. 
4. Write yourself reminders and place them where you are sure to see them.

Let Go Let God

Earlier this week I had an opportunity to attend another amazing @NeveYerushalaim class. We discussed making decisions and dealing with fear of the unknown. 

If nothing is pulling us towards one choice or the other… how are we to know which direction to take? 

The thing though is that we aren’t always meant or expected to know. 

After all, we do not have the ability to know the future or the outcome of everything. 

If something is out of your control or out of range of the tools with which humans are gifted (which does not include telling the future), then it’s not your issue to oversee the outcome. Only to make the best choice possible considering what you know and are capable of in that moment. 

“Let go and let G-d.” 

Funny enough, I first heard this line years ago on the Oprah show. I don’t remember who the guest speaker was and it was kind of random because I didn’t really watching Oprah all that much. But it resonated.

We might think this is limiting. I used to think that it was just making excuses for ourselves. But the more we experience, the more we realize how many things just aren’t up to us. This isn’t about giving up. This is about creating healthy boundaries for ourselves. Not driving ourselves into the ground or living in fear. It’s about facing reality in the most practical way, actually.

We can try our best to stay healthy, but we can’t change our genetics which happen to have a major impact on if we get sick or develop a certain condition. We can work out night and day but our bodies will only change so much depending on how they’re built. We can study as hard as we want, but if we aren’t born geniuses we most likely won’t become that no matter how much we pour ourselves over books. And there is absolutely no way that we will ever be able to know which decisions to make with 100% certainty every time. 

But then again that’s not why we are here… to know everything and have all the answers. Then life wouldn’t be… life. 

And if you do make the wrong decision (which we are all bound to make), then trust that that too will lead you to where you are meant to be. 

The Limits of Self Help

I am currently reading “Morality” by the late leading philosopher, theologian and intellectual Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks.  

Sacks posits that the rise in public discourse, identity politics and extremism that have deepened social divisions, the breaking of close family ties, and the seemingly all-pervading influence of social media are due to our loss of a strong, shared moral code and our elevation of self interest over the common good. 
I am only on the second chapter but there are already a multitude of points that he has made that have provided a new and refreshing perspective for me. One of the topics he discusses is that of self help.

Sacks recalled a near-death experience he had several years prior when he almost drowned while vacationing in Italy. He realized at a certain point that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the water alone because it had become too strong for him, and even considered that it might be the end for him. If not for a total stranger, he wouldn’t have made it that day. In that moment, “self help” was a means to only the ultimate end. 

This is obviously an extreme example, but a fair one to make his point:
“If I look back at my life, I discovered that it was always someone else who sent me on a new trajectory. I suspect the same is true for most people. Someone who was there when we needed it, who listened as we poured out our problems, who gave us the encouraging word when we were about to give up, who believed in us more than we believe in ourselves. Or maybe it was actually someone who looked us in the eye and told us the honest truth: that we were self obsessed, that we were wallowing in our motions, that instead of thinking about how to develop the mindset to achieve great things, we should stop reading and start doing. Help, I have found time and time again, comes not from the self, but from others.”

My journey has fostered a strong desire within me to delve into personal development and conditioning. I used to think that I had to do everything myself (and that it had to be hard), but one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that some of the greatest teachers are simply the people around us. And that it is absolutely imperative that I engage myself in the process of learning from those around me. My main example (which I didn’t realize until recently) is my sister, from whom I learned even the most basic skills. I write a lot about anxiety, and social anxiety in particular was something I really struggled with as a kid and teenager. I literally did not know how to be social. I didn’t know how to conduct myself without feeling painfully awkward and uncomfortable. I was able to develop my social skills by studying my sister’s social skills (she was always the social butterfly). So much so that at a certain point people would tell me I had her mannerisms. 

Point is that all of the self help books and google searches in the world couldn’t help me the way that my sister could (and I don’t think she ever even knew it). At a certain point we have to realize that self help is a wonderful tool, but we need more. 

I will close this by bringing this full circle with my previous point about the breaking of personal ties and the increase in public discourse… how much more so can we close this divide if we simply learn to learn from each other. 

There Is No Room to Be Angry About the Struggle

 “As long as you are alive, you are going to experience struggle- and that is okay. Reward yourself for your victories and be honest about your failings. But there is no room to be angry about the struggle itself; that’s how it is meant to be.”

When I read this excerpt in “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid” by Michal Oshman, who is the head of culture at TikTok Europe and former leadership expert at Facebook, I felt very impacted by it. 

Just like many others, anxiety has always been a majorly present factor in my life. In particular, I have always felt the need to control and understand everything. And if I couldn’t… fear and panic would take over. Over time, I learned to manage and cope. However, I couldn’t truly just let go of needing control over what and how things happen.

There have been several major “aha” moments in my life, and this was one of them. It was one of those moments where all of a sudden so many things made sense, and I couldn’t have come to this understanding and conclusion if not for all of the things that I experienced that I previously could not understand why I had to struggle through them. What a paradox! 

All of a sudden so many things I was constantly questioning their necessity and why they had to happen…. were actually exactly what I needed to come to learn this major lesson in my life that seems to be the key to my understanding it all. In a sense, the answers I have been seeking were hidden within the chaos and confusion itself.

I am even going to be so bold as to claim that the answers ARE the chaos and confusion. How?

Because they are exactly what we need and are meant to experience. Instead of questioning why we go through certain things, we should look at occurrences- both the good and the bad- as direction regarding where we can and need to grow in life… which is what life is all about- constantly evolving. 

What I need to learn and grow through are completely different from others, and vice versa. Which is another reason why comparison to others makes actual zero sense. 

💡The answers are within the questions themselves. You just have to get to that point where you can be a vessel to understand the truth. Meaning, you absolutely must work through the chaos to even be able to understand that which you desire to understand. I have always heard that “things are how they are meant to be” but it sounded so cliche to me. Even though I believe in G-d and that things happen for a reason and everyone has a purpose and particular mission…. I didn’t really internalize  and conceptualize what that meant…. until this moment. 

👉🏻 It’s true that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. For a very long time I had been trying to internalize this message and live by it, but I couldn’t. It didn’t really make sense to me though I felt like it should. But when you can internalize that things are as they are meant to be and so there is really no need to dread or fight the struggle, you can understand that if that is true…. then it only makes sense that everything really does happen for you and not to you because things are supposed to be that certain way (often times for reasons we won’t understand and that’s okay). If xyz are supposed to be part of your life, it’s good that they’re there. Which leads me to my next point. 

🗣 Everything in our lives is here to teach us a lesson, help us grow, and make us who we are supposed to be. I believe I have my particular strengths because I am meant to play a certain role and complete a particular mission in this world. So too for everyone else. 

It’s so simple and undeniably true. 

But not until you can get to the point of understanding it.

And the only way to get there is to work through your own personal struggles and fears and shortcomings (though it sometimes sucks 😢). 

Even when things seem to be complicated, they’re not. They’re simply what they are and we just need to understand that things are meant to be a certain way… and so they will be… and that’s okay. That’s part of our journey. 

Which also made me realize how much I’ve overcomplicated things, though then again I am only human after all 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

And if that’s the case, then the final conclusion is that we are to give up trying to have full control while focusing on what we can change, find the lessons within the struggles so as to learn and grow from them, and simply enjoy life for everything it is and isn’t meant to be. 

There’s nothing to argue or hate or be angry about. 

It quite simply is. 

And there is so much undeniable peace in that. 

———————————

I will conclude this by sharing the serenity prayer, with which I am absolutely obsessed: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Question Your Thoughts // The Work by Byron Katie

Is this thought true? 

Can I know for sure that it’s true? 

Who would I be without this thought? 💭

Questioning our thoughts, especially when they’re negative, is so important. 

It also helps us to notice what bothers us and, on the other hand, what makes us happy. We learn more about ourselves in the process of questioning. 

Because at the end of the day our thoughts don’t define us. It’s how we react to them and what we do with them. 

To learn more about questioning your thoughts and working with them, visit thework.com for resources. Link in bio. 

Stay In Your Lane

There’s your business, other people’s business, and then there’s G-d’s business. 

Stay in your lane and out of G-d’s business. If you can’t control something, it’s not your business. Let go and let G-d. Our knowledge and foresight are limited. He knows better. No, he knows best. 

When you come to live by the fact that you can’t and don’t need to control everything, life becomes so much more enjoyable. Learn to take things as they come and let go of what doesn’t serve you. Be grateful for the challenges because they serve their role and purpose too. Appreciate everything that comes your way. It is all leading you to where you need to be🦋

What Music Do You Need To Remember? (On Being Reinspired)

 The last several weeks have been quite intense. For the first time in the 8 months that I have been working as a registered nurse, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of going to work. Working as a new nurse in the midst of a global pandemic wasn't even the challenge. 

The last several weeks at work saw one of my patients having to be flown out to another hospital because her case was too complicated (blood leaking out into her lungs from her aorta), the first time having a patient have a stroke, my first time having a patient die on me, having to do CPR and postmortem care and several rapid responses...

For me, medicine has always been about my purpose, my mission, and my passion. I know I'm meant to be in this field and to eventually become a doctor. I love what I do and I'm so grateful I get to do it. 

But the other morning I couldn't see any of that. 

I felt overwhelmed with it all. And even though every nurse waits for her turn to face the inevitable of being in this field and knows that this is what we have chosen... facing people die, having to tell their loved ones, dealing with emergencies... it doesn't make it any easier. 

As I was driving to work that morning, feeling sad and dreading the next 14 hours.... listening to music... a specific song came on that changed everything for me. 

"You never know you crossed the line till you get to the other side... The only way out is to face it... cause no one ever taught us to hide... the hardest walls to fight are the ones we wage inside."

It took me back to my junior year of high school when I had just started at a new school and was having a hard time adjusting. It was a very challenging time in my life so much so that I did something I had never done before (being that I was way too studious and always concerned about doing well in school). 

I totally blanked while taking my chemistry exam. I literally looked at the exam that I had spent hours studying for and for some unknown reason absolutely nothing made any sense to me. I couldn't do simple math or understand simple instructions. It was like my brain shut off. 

I was so overwhelmed at that point that I even tried to turn in the exam right then and there, incomplete, and tell my teacher that I had to go home because I didn't feel well. He told me I could leave once I turned it in. I left school that day right after that class (which was my very first and it was only 7:45am) and spent the rest of the day incapable of doing anything but lying in my bed. I couldn't eat, study, get up, or talk to anyone.

The only thing that comforted me at that moment was this song. I spent hours listening to it. I have no idea why. 

I don't remember what I got on the test... but fast forward 3 years and I got an A in my college chemistry course which was on probation for failing too many students... and 7 years later I'm in a medical program attaining my doctorate in my dream profession. 

I hadn't listened to this song in a very long time, and it had come on so randomly and unexpectedly. I started to cry on my way to work (and it wasn't yet 7am). 

It reminded me of that challenge I had experienced and how horrible I felt at that time. It reminded me of everything I had been able to achieve despite it. It reminded me that I was where I was because I got through so many obstacles. It reminded me of how afraid I was and how I felt so stuck and incapable of succeeding. 

And yet there I was on my chosen trajectory. I was doing everything I had set out to do. And even though it was scary and HARD, I was doing it. 

I decided to see the positive in everything I had experienced in the previous weeks. How I officially felt like a real nurse. How much more confident I am because I've had to deal with these emergencies. How I feel like I can face anything now. How grateful my patients are and all the times I have people tell me they're proud of me or respect me for what I do and for helping their family members. How it is really cool to be part of a team of people who have the skillset to save others. 

At that moment I decided that I was going to have a great day. 

And I did. The first good day at work in a very long time. 

Lesson learned: remember the music. 

What is the music that you need to remember?

The Only Way To Grow

Pressure. Intensity. 

I love and hate them at the same time. 

Last week was my first time getting floated to the ICU. In the midst of the second wave of a global pandemic🦠. Without ever having had an introduction or orientation to the unit. Still a relatively new nurse👩🏻‍⚕️. Every patient on quarantine isolation. Not even sure how to use the monitors to take a blood pressure or how to print a telemetry strip. Not to mention I had a higher acuity of patients than I usually have. 😥
Then yesterday I was sent to the ICU again, which at that point was still overwhelming for me. With still needing to adjust and being slower than usual, and balancing that with five patients... I felt more pressure than ever before. 

What started out as something I feared... going out of my comfort zone, something happening to a patient and not knowing how to properly deal with it... became something I actually enjoyed and appreciated. 
On my way home from work last night, I realized that I felt no fear like I had previously. Because those two days forced me to make it like a fish out of water... I felt like I could really handle anything that came my way. 

It’s through the intense moments when we have to pull ourselves together and figure things out on the spot while pulling together the resources that you have... when you 1️⃣realize how strong you can be and 2️⃣understand that you can truly only grow and improve when you’re out of your comfort zone. 
Being on the medical-surgical floors has been a great experience, but the thrill and intensity of figuring things out and breaking through those challenges is one of the most exhilarating and profound I’ve ever had. 

✅Lessons learned: don’t fear the unknown, embrace it. Think of new challenges as being spontaneous in a good way and not as you being totally crazy and out of your mind (though I thought I might get to that point🙈), let the challenge make you not break you, give things time, you may end up being good at something you may not have thought otherwise, new challenges breed experience and knowledge which lead to confidence and mastery. 🧠

Wisdom from the Batcave

Currently reading “Wisdom from the Batcave” by Cary Friedman. I figured it would be nice to share some of his ideas about dealing with adversity, considering the fact that we are all dealing with adversity right now in the face of coronavirus.

💡We can always choose how to respond to difficulties and challenges. It's easy to succumb to anxiety and fear and to wallow in self-pity. The true test is to face the difficulties that confront us and try to impose order in our messy lives. 

💡”Misfortune creates opportunities for personal growth, development, and refinement of character.” Use every opportunity to develop and refine yourself. Now is a great time to do this considering that many of us are off from school and work (online school is basically off from school, let’s be real😉). Though it comes with challenges, we have more time now than ever to spend with our immediate families, start or finish a project that is long overdue, and even reconsider the paths we are taking. Facing the truth of your reality may be hard for you, and that in itself is an opportunity to build up resilience and make some important changes in your life. 

💡Generating some light, even if it’s a little bit, begins to dispel the darkness that surrounds us. Stay positive for not only your sake but also those who rely on you and who must now be in your presence for much of their time. Be there for each other, and share your positivity with friends and extended family too.

💡Our personal pain, fear, and struggles can harden us or make us more empathetic and caring towards others. Right now we all need to support each other and when better to do this when we are all in the same boat? Allow this experience to make you kinder, more understanding of others, and more giving of your time and energy to those who might need it. Call a friend, send a message… it’s easier than ever right now to communicate from a distance.

How to be happy despite conflicts and struggles | from a psychiatrist

Currently reading Let Us Make Man by Psychiatrist Dr. Abrahama Twersky.

He makes several points about self-esteem and happiness that really expanded my views on these topics.

Happiness can exist without 100% contentment
We are never going to be fully content. As humans, that is not natural. We are always striving for more and better.
We can be striving and not fully satisfied YET happy at the same time.
Happiness can coexist with discontent.
It allowed me to feel I have the permission and ability to not have everything I want/need and still be happy. 
Sometimes I feel that I need to work harder to earn that happiness, but this reminds it is natural to want more, yet should not confine ourselves to only allowing ourselves to feel happy when we attain that said thing.

We don't always know the meaning that things have.
As humans, we have limited capacity to understand things on a higher level. That is, limited perspective. We see things happening to us on only one level and from one angle. We don't know what it could mean for us in the future and why those things happen. Ever have something seemingly negative happen and then you realize later on that it had a higher place and purpose in your life?

It's good to have faith
If not in G-d or higher power or force... then in the idea that there are things happening that we could not possibly understand how it could be good in any way.
Related to the topic above: there could be something beyond har we see, know and comprehend. 
Trust that your suffering or challenges are not in vain, that there is some transcendental purpose. While it does not remove the pain or answer why these things happen to us, it can give us the courage and strength to deal with tragedy and struggles.

Accepting adversity with happiness 
Accepting adversity with happiness in the sense of faith and trust allows us to feel joy from other events in life that warrant true joy. 

Accept that conflict is natural and so choose to be happy despite it 
We are so obsessed with resolving conflict, that we forget that we can still be happy despite it. We instead must learn to cope with it and overcome it. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

4 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears | Chronic Anxiety to LOVING Life

I talk a lot about fear and anxiety that I have overcome. 

I want to share with you how I have overcome my fears so well, that I am doing things today that I could have only dreamed about 10 years ago.  

Overcoming fears takes a lot of energy and you have to be intentional because it is unlikely that you will overcome them if you don't try to. 

Sometimes we grow out of our fears but here I am talking about those ideas and beliefs that you have ingrained in you and may be causing issues for you as you grow older. 

Watch the Youtube video here

Also, you want to face the root of your issues because once you do, you understand why you have other struggles. Overcoming my core fears and understanding how they have affected me has allowed me to lead an overall healthier and more fulfilling life. 

#1: Become aware of your fears

You need clarity when it comes to understanding your psychology. Take time to be with yourself and reflect. 

Write them down. list them out. 

#2: Meditate on how developed and from where they come

Think about your childhood, thought patterns, how you were raised, etc. 

Clarity comes through reflection.

Try to think back to when those fears or unhealthy thoughts started. What is your first memory of your fear?

Through thinking about it all you can come to understand your own psychology and how things played out in your life. 

You can pick up on things you didn't before. 

#3: List out how they help you and how they hinder you  

Realize the roles they play in your life. 

Ex: fear of not being perfect hinders me because it overwhelms me with the idea that if I'm not perfect then I'm not enough which leads into a self-esteem issue and lack of self-worth. It helps me because it motivates me to be involved, active and get more done.  

#4: Run towards them, put yourself in situations where you face your fears

Fear is a mechanism for survival.

Do not avoid your fears, embrace them. 

Use it to your advantage to propel you forward.

You can even try to work backwards- starting from where you want to be and thinking about what you would need to do to get there/that. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

3-Step Technique To Liberate Yourself From Anxiety And Fear

There are 3 steps to liberating yourself from your weaknesses and fears.

1️⃣ Realize what your weaknesses and fears are

2️⃣ Come to terms with them

3️⃣ Embrace them wholeheartedly

Yes, wholeheartedly. ❤️

Some might say, "well, why to embrace them rather than fight them off?"

Because: weaknesses and fears are NORMAL. We are meant to have them. Our role is to learn how to use them to propel us forward. 

We will never be %1000 fearless and I would hope not. I don't want you jumping out of a plane thousands of feet in the air or reaching for a hot stove without first thinking it through really well. I don't want you making a decision that will determine your future without being really sure it's right for you. 

(WATCH THE FULL YOUTUBE VIDEO HERE). 

Having that bit of anxiety is healthy. It's using it to our advantage that is the trick and the goal here. 

Having overcome chronic anxiety myself, there are three steps that allowed me to fully embrace my fears and weaknesses. It took me a lot of time to adopt this view of life. I needed to undergo certain experiences and used trial and error to perfect my outline of how to go about doing this in a way that wouldn't be too overwhelming for me. 

Okay, so let's get to it. 👍🏻

1. Realizing and understanding what your fears are, is itself extremely liberating. Define what exactly it is that makes you nervous, holds back from doing what needs to be done and from fulfilling your dreams, and makes you want to perhaps even change your entire direction in life. There was a time when I felt so overwhelmed with my dreams and the things I would have to do to achieve them (put myself out there, risk rejection and negative feedback, etc) that I thought that perhaps it wasn't worth it and I should start looking for something easier. 

NOOOO. I quickly came to the realization that I'd rather risk embarrassment doing what I dream of than staying in a safe haven (which isn't really all that safe because that turns into disappointment and resentment) and holding back from my true mission. 

Make it very clear and understandable for yourself what these things are. 

Write them down.

When starting something, go over this list. 

Which leads me to point two.

2. Accept that you feel this way. Yes, you are nervous people might think you're stupid or lame or a horrible singer or artist or whatever. AND THAT'S OKAY.  That's not your problem. Your problem is getting over this hump and you're freakin' doing it!! So your problem is solved. You will never control others' opinions and the things people say/do. And that's not your role or responsibility. Your responsibility is to yourself. 

Accept that this is the reality at the moment. 

Remember, the only way you overcome fear is by doing that which you're afraid of. 

The only way I got over my phobia of spiders (couldn't even look at drawings of them) was by exposing myself to them. At 11, I forced myself to go to sleepaway camp. My father, a psychiatrist who was even more desperate than (lol) for me to get over my phobia, would collect insects in empty jars and containers and leave them on our porch so I could use them for exposure therapy😂

Sooo... the best and really only thing you can do is just accept the fact that you experience these emotions and act on these dreams and goals anyway. Hell yeah💪🏼

3. Finally... give all those fears and anxiety-ridding dreams and the failures and the wins and losses that came with them A HUGE HUG. You are so many wonderful things, and it's amazing that you aren't perfect. Life would be boring if you were. People don't find true joy and pride in the things that come easily to them. These are your struggles and you're doing something about them. You are way ahead of the game. Think of all the people who took their dreams to the grave with them. Think of all those who looked back at their lives and wished they had the guts to do all the things they were too scared to do. In the end, we all die. The people whose opinions we fear will be dead. And if you screw up... no one will be alive to tell it anyway. 

That's how I like to think about it: if you become super successful, then great, you did it. If not and you feel embarrassed about it, don't worry because no one will remember you anyway right? Either way, you'll be okay. But you'd sure as hell rather take the chance and know you at least tried. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

GUIDE: Exactly How To Generate Positive Vibes and Thoughts (Even When The Going Gets Rough)

OKAY PEOPLE!!

Everything good is coming our way! 

Gosh, what am I saying?🤔

Everything good is already HERE!🤙

That is, if you allow it to be. It depends entirely on you. 

I know you're probably thinking, "How so, Dev?"👀

Well, if your thoughts and beliefs create your reality... and since you control your thoughts and beliefs... this means that you have the power to generate whatever you want.

The KEY🗝 is to learn, therefore, how to control your thoughts and change your beliefs.

And you must. It's going to take time and some effort, but with persistent practice, you WILL get there. Heck, I'm still practicing (getting better every day☝🏻) and I've been doing this for a while.

Because guess what. 

If we are focusing on the negative, we will only attract more negative into our lives. 

Likewise, if we attract positive, then we will attract positive into our lives.

Like attracts like. 

Make sense? By the way, if you want to learn more, check out my downloadables on this exact topic! You can find them all here! And I'm adding more and more all the time! 

So here are my top pointers on how to generate positive vibes even when the going gets rough (because life requires the going gets rough and we are supposed to learn how to grow from these challenges). 

1. Do a meditation- Sometimes we get so caught up in the situation at hand, the feelings generated from an experience, past issues and the emotions attached to them, starting to come up... we just need to step back and realign ourselves with our mission and goals. Instead of resisting the thoughts, feelings, and reality at hand... allow them to flow through you.
• The best way to allow them to flow through you is to meditate. Stop what you're doing, close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, and just BREATHE. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and just allow yourself to relax. Focus on your breath and allow all negativity to show up as they desire, acknowledge them, and let them go. Don't try to fight them, just accept them as thoughts. 
2. Observe your thoughts- as I wrote above. When you simply step back and observe your thoughts and feelings, you cease owning them. We berate ourselves for thinking a certain way or acting our emotions that we try to suppress... but we can also choose to stop owning them and taking them personally. Just we think negative thoughts, it doesn't mean we are negative. We are human. Observe and let go. 
3. Listen to something positive- whether it be a song, a speaker, a video on something silly and funny. 
• When you focus your attention on those things, you align your energy with that energy. 
• Loosen up. Allow yourself to align with the energy you truly desire to live by. 
4. Journal- When you write down exactly how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way, you gain a LOT of clarity. 
• Clarity allows for understanding, which allows for an opening for something new to enter into our space (positivity please🙏🏻). 
• This also helps us to let go- to let off steam- which therefore allows us to feel more positive and accepting of something new.
5. Get up and get out- if you've been sitting for too long, focusing on one thing to no or little avail and are building up frustration... then you need to get up physically (yes do it even if you're lazy and/or a have a deadline because this will give you more time and energy in the long run) and step out of your current scene. Step outside, go on a walk, go for a drive around your neighborhood). Then come back and start again.

Let me know if these helped you at all 🐒 and share with a friend or two so that they can get some more positivity too🐸

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes