Up until this point in life, everything was protected by a cushion. You know, living at home and off of mom and dad. Some individuals choose to protect themselves with this cushion up until their late 20s, if not later. Others, like myself, have a desire to be independent. We appreciate the guidance and support given to us by our parents or whoever raised us, but we also understand that it's important to be able to stand on our own two feet. I personally feel privileged to be able to move upwards in life and have the opportunity to build my own life separate from everything else that I have always had.
This idea that I was pondering yesterday on my way home from work, had me thinking about something that someone said to me a very long time ago. This always stuck with me, and I laugh about it every so often.
I was about 6 or 7 years old, on the bus ride home from school. It was time for me to get off of the bus and so I started gathering my stuff and unbuckling my seatbelt. As I was doing so, the girl sitting next to me turned to me and asked, "Deb, did you know that I'm rich?"
Now, you may be wondering what this may have to do with growing up. Stick with me here.
I remember thinking to myself... first, what does it mean to be rich? Like, I genuinely did not know what it meant to be rich and why she was telling me this. I was so confused. I mean, I grew up very comfortable too, but I never had my parents telling me that we were rich or had it better than others. I was only about 6 years old anyway, so what 6-year-old goes around talking about being rich?
As I grew older and started encountering this "I'm rich" mentality, I began referring back to this initial exposure I had to such self-inflation and monetary obsession.
What really was interesting to me though was how young people my age were SO proud of their parents' wealth or high social standing. It was as if they themselves had some sort of influence on their parents' success too. These kids were walking around like they conquered the planet because their parents were successful. I always found that to be so frustrating. My parents are also successful and have always offered my siblings and me everything we needed (and most of the time what we wanted). However, there was a balance and there was exposure. We were taught that hard work was the cost. We always had nice things but knew that not everything had to be the most expensive or the most high-standard.
The other day as I was scrolling through my social media feed, I saw a photo that someone posted with her new Mercedez. I felt part of me looking at the photo wishfully, considering how nice it would be to have a Mercedez. However, as quickly as that thought entered my mind... I then became encapsulated by another idea and a different mindset that I would like to carry forward.
"What is the purpose?"
Not that we shouldn't buy nice things and share our excitement... I'm all for it! However, seeing someone else have something and THEN considering how happy you would be to have said thing... isn't that absurd?!
I all of a sudden realized the ridiculous notion of rich, expensive, high-end, call it what you want...
Because what is the purpose? And what is the value of all that?
How would having a Mercedez make me happier? Maybe it is more comfortable, but do I really need it to be happy? Is it really worth my time looking at it and considering how happy I could be with it?
And that takes me back to the beginning story of the "rich" girl.
I think that it is when we understand the value of all that we have and the price it takes for all of those things... when we truly realize what is actually important. At least in my case, thinking about being financially independent... sure I will splurge on nice things here and there. But when you have worked hard for what you have earned, you should putt all that hard work and effort towards things that will make you feel true happiness (I'm not actually telling you what you should do with your hard-earned money. You obviously decide. To each his own. However, perhaps consider this stance).
True happiness, I think, is living with purpose. When one has a purpose and lives according to the blueprint of that purpose, everything else seems to fall into place. Once I became aware of what truly mattered to me, I stopped looking at labels as much as I used to. I stopped looking at what other people had. I stopped caring so much about what I didn't have. I started realizing that I don't need certain things to achieve my purpose. And so, therefore, those objects are not needed for me to be truly happy.
Furthermore, when you become independent, you start realizing that you have to supply the lifestyle that you want or once had. Just because your parents had the ability to do and buy all these things for you, doesn't necessarily mean that you will. It's time for you to step up, put in the hard work... and decide if all that stuff is really even that important. I certainly plan to continue the quality of life that I have always been blessed to have, but this is a whole different chapter. I think it's rather exciting to see how my opinions on these matters might change.
I am fully aware that not everyone thinks this way. Heck, many people make money just to spend it on more material things. However, I think this mentality that I just shared is important to consider.
From now on, I have decided to ask myself this question whenever getting enchanted by an object or idea.
Does this align with my purpose? Does this align with my blueprint? Will it help these factors in any way?
If the answer is no, turn away from those things and find what does align with your purpose and your blueprint. You will end up happier (truly happier) in the long run.