Let Go of Control

For the longest time I struggled to let go of needing to control even things that I knew I had no control over. 

I would work myself to exhaustion, not allow myself to fully enjoy any breaks from my hard work, and would feel guilty whenever I wasn’t being “productive.”

Because I was so hard on myself, I would never feel a sense of fulfillment. No matter how hard I worked. I found myself completely unhappy, and even desperate for that self acceptance that I would never get while stuck in that mindset. 

A lot of the lessons that I have learned in life, I have learned through those around me. As I always say, other people are our second greatest teachers. The greatest teacher is life itself. 

And I have learned from both other people and from life, that working yourself beyond full capacity and trying to control everything in the process, is never going to lead to fulfillment and happiness.

I realized that the people who would put in their honest effort, and then step back and let everything else work out for them, were the happiest and the ones who usually actually had things work out for them. 

Once I learned to let go, I became a much happier and healthier person. 

But it took me several years to be able to get to that point in life. 

I started living by the idea that the universe has my back. And since I have been able to truly believe and live that, I have seen so much more from life. 

I started truly living by the fact that everything is always really working out for me as long as I am putting in my honest effort and taking aligned action.

I have a newfound sense of peace and self-love. I have a newfound love for life itself. I don’t wake up in the morning with severe anxiety. I wake up looking forward to all the things that I will get to do- all the things I love and that bring me purpose.

All because of a mindset shift.

How to focus on your personal journey through life

 ✨Everyone is different (has different skills, strengths and weaknesses) and therefore have different paths. Don't compare yourself.

✨You are unique- you are the only person who has your life. Look at your strengths and weaknesses to better understand what your purpose might be.

✨Everyone has different challenges and obstacles so just because someone else has something that you don’t, it doesn’t mean that he or she is better than you. You may have different circumstances. Instead of asking "why not me," ask, "how can that be me too?"

✨Your life is about building yourself so build yourself to become the person you always wanted to be. In the meantime, try to build others up with you.

✨Learn from others- if someone has something you want (for example, a trait), work towards achieving it. Ask them for mentorship or advice. See what they might be doing right, and try to model that. You will actually find yourself appreciating this person, rather than feeling envy towards him or her.

✨Make a list of all the things you desire. Doing this will help you to stay focused. It will keep you going when things get tough. Additionally, write down WHY you want those things. Refer back to this list when you don't feel motivated or when you feel like giving up.

✨Make a list of things to do when you are bored, so that you never find yourself sitting around thinking about things that really don’t matter to you. the good thing about being busy is that you don't have time to waste on things that are unimportant. Focus on the things that keep you happy and productive. This list can include going for a walk, spending time with someone you love, reading a book on your reading list, researching that topic you wanted to the other day but didn't have a chance to explore, or tidying up your personal space.

The Message You Need to Hear

Is there something you have been wanting or needing to do, but your fear or excuses have been holding you back?

Perhaps you're telling yourself that you need to learn more first, or that you don't have your "plan" figured out. 

Maybe you keep telling yourself that you'll start tomorrow, or when you feel "ready."

Well, guess what...

It is time that you STOP waiting. 

Simply start.

Often times, the first step is the scariest. Often times, it's also the hardest.

What I have learned is that I really only truly learn and overcome fear when I'm actually taking action.
Also, it is the action I am afraid to take that often liberates me. Once I take the first step, everything else becomes less scary and feels way more attainable. 

One reminder that has always helped me to take the first step, is that the world won't end if things don't work out as expected. The sun will still rise and and set. Life will still go on. New opportunities and ideas will still come to you. 

I would rather look back and say, "at least I tried," instead of thinking, "what if I tried?"
So here are some ways to take that first step if you have been holding yourself back:

1. Write out an action plan. What are your first, second and third steps?
2. Work backwards. Think about end goal and meditate on what you needed to do to get there. 
3. Hold yourself accountable or have someone else hold you accountable and hold you to your word and commitment to taking action. 
4. Write yourself reminders and place them where you are sure to see them.