Let Go of Control

For the longest time I struggled to let go of needing to control even things that I knew I had no control over. 

I would work myself to exhaustion, not allow myself to fully enjoy any breaks from my hard work, and would feel guilty whenever I wasn’t being “productive.”

Because I was so hard on myself, I would never feel a sense of fulfillment. No matter how hard I worked. I found myself completely unhappy, and even desperate for that self acceptance that I would never get while stuck in that mindset. 

A lot of the lessons that I have learned in life, I have learned through those around me. As I always say, other people are our second greatest teachers. The greatest teacher is life itself. 

And I have learned from both other people and from life, that working yourself beyond full capacity and trying to control everything in the process, is never going to lead to fulfillment and happiness.

I realized that the people who would put in their honest effort, and then step back and let everything else work out for them, were the happiest and the ones who usually actually had things work out for them. 

Once I learned to let go, I became a much happier and healthier person. 

But it took me several years to be able to get to that point in life. 

I started living by the idea that the universe has my back. And since I have been able to truly believe and live that, I have seen so much more from life. 

I started truly living by the fact that everything is always really working out for me as long as I am putting in my honest effort and taking aligned action.

I have a newfound sense of peace and self-love. I have a newfound love for life itself. I don’t wake up in the morning with severe anxiety. I wake up looking forward to all the things that I will get to do- all the things I love and that bring me purpose.

All because of a mindset shift.

The Message You Need to Hear

Is there something you have been wanting or needing to do, but your fear or excuses have been holding you back?

Perhaps you're telling yourself that you need to learn more first, or that you don't have your "plan" figured out. 

Maybe you keep telling yourself that you'll start tomorrow, or when you feel "ready."

Well, guess what...

It is time that you STOP waiting. 

Simply start.

Often times, the first step is the scariest. Often times, it's also the hardest.

What I have learned is that I really only truly learn and overcome fear when I'm actually taking action.
Also, it is the action I am afraid to take that often liberates me. Once I take the first step, everything else becomes less scary and feels way more attainable. 

One reminder that has always helped me to take the first step, is that the world won't end if things don't work out as expected. The sun will still rise and and set. Life will still go on. New opportunities and ideas will still come to you. 

I would rather look back and say, "at least I tried," instead of thinking, "what if I tried?"
So here are some ways to take that first step if you have been holding yourself back:

1. Write out an action plan. What are your first, second and third steps?
2. Work backwards. Think about end goal and meditate on what you needed to do to get there. 
3. Hold yourself accountable or have someone else hold you accountable and hold you to your word and commitment to taking action. 
4. Write yourself reminders and place them where you are sure to see them.

Living as the Highest Versions of Ourselves

Well, it's been 3 months since I've written a blog post. That's how I know I've been truly busy. 

There are so many experiences I've had in such a short period of time. Where to begin?

So much I have learned- things I have realized, accepted, changed, applied to my life, let go of...

I want to share one realization/experience. 

The other week, I experienced a moment of intense truth. Perhaps an epiphany. Not quite sure. 

I was exhausted.
Exhausted from all the noise. Noise from thoughts playing over and over in my head, focusing on external things, social media, other people, trying to figure out if I'm doing well, trying to find myself in various settings of my life that are all so contrasting. I feel like 3 different people. I can't be the same person in all the settings in which I exist. Or at least I don't know how to be. That's something I'm still trying to figure out. 

Through all the chaos, I lost my clarity. 

I couldn't hear myself trying to pipe through all the static that was everything around me. 

As I took a moment to say Maariv (evening prayer), I paused to share some of my thoughts with G-d. Except I couldn't find words. And even if I could, I didn't want to speak them. Because words couldn't express what I was feeling. 

I felt stuck. 

And what I suddenly thought to myself was: I want to find myself. 

Not find myself in what I do or how I spend my time, my career, job, friends or religion. 

No. I wanted to find who I am at my core. 

So I got very quiet and let everything else go. I let go of what I was feeling on the outside, who I was with, where I was before, and where I was going afterward. 

I suddenly found myself so in tune with the reality of who I really am- my true desires, goals, and aspirations... my clarity, internal compass... the voice that had been trying so hard to be heard. 

My energy healer once told me that the voice we need to listen to is often the one that is quieter. 

I was finally able to hear that voice. 

I knew it was that voice because for the first time in a long time I felt free. I felt happy and grateful. Even things that had upset me... I was just so grateful they happened because I understood they helped me to grow. I suddenly felt full. Full of joy, pride, and happiness. What had been pain suddenly became inspirational. What had been sadness suddenly became happiness. I felt honesty, forgiveness, truth, and self-love. 

I was so happy, I began to cry. I just thought, "Oh my gosh, this is what I have been looking and waiting for. This is the truth. This is where I want to stay." 

I cried mostly because I realized just how much I truly loved that person. 

Just how truly I loved myself. 

When I was finally able to reach and meet her... and be her for a moment, I wanted to continue to exist as her. Rather than existing as a version of myself molded by falsity. Rather than exiting as the version who needed to fit into other people's definitions of "normal" or "acceptable."

As I came back to grounding myself to where I was in that moment- surrounded by other people and not in the right environment to cry hysterically (and either way how could I explain all this to someone who could've asked me why I was seemingly upset)- I had to disconnect myself from that highest version of myself. 

At that moment, I couldn't embrace her without being emotional. 

But I was so happy to know that she would be there (just as she had been there all along), for when I could reconnect and grow closer and closer to her until I would be her. 

That brought me to today. I saw a journal prompt that asked: how can I love myself even deeper?

And my response came to me suddenly: I can love myself more deeply by genuinely embracing who and what I am by turning inwards to inquire what my true and highest self would do, how she would react, what she would say and choose... because I love who I truly am and I can actively continue to love myself by embracing life (with its loves and losses) through her. If I am the highest version of myself who I love, how could I not love myself?  If anything, I will love myself more than I ever have. 

As the highest version of myself, I will not chase. I will attract. I will be kind, giving, understanding, and genuine. I will follow my own lead, instead of following another's. I will do what is right for me, instead of seeking direction and guidance from others who cannot offer it to me. I will live by truth and clarity. 

Every choice will be made by me as the highest version of myself. 

I want this, not that. 

This is right for me. That is not right for me. 

This person belongs in my life. That person does not belong in my life. 

I embrace this. I let go of that. 

These thoughts serve me. Those thoughts are being released from my mind's soundtrack. 

Be still. Be quiet. Disconnect to reconnect. 

It may take more than one try. 

But sooner or later, you will meet yourself and it will be evident. 

Your truth will be self-evident. 

The Limits of Self Help

I am currently reading “Morality” by the late leading philosopher, theologian and intellectual Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks.  

Sacks posits that the rise in public discourse, identity politics and extremism that have deepened social divisions, the breaking of close family ties, and the seemingly all-pervading influence of social media are due to our loss of a strong, shared moral code and our elevation of self interest over the common good. 
I am only on the second chapter but there are already a multitude of points that he has made that have provided a new and refreshing perspective for me. One of the topics he discusses is that of self help.

Sacks recalled a near-death experience he had several years prior when he almost drowned while vacationing in Italy. He realized at a certain point that he wouldn’t be able to get out of the water alone because it had become too strong for him, and even considered that it might be the end for him. If not for a total stranger, he wouldn’t have made it that day. In that moment, “self help” was a means to only the ultimate end. 

This is obviously an extreme example, but a fair one to make his point:
“If I look back at my life, I discovered that it was always someone else who sent me on a new trajectory. I suspect the same is true for most people. Someone who was there when we needed it, who listened as we poured out our problems, who gave us the encouraging word when we were about to give up, who believed in us more than we believe in ourselves. Or maybe it was actually someone who looked us in the eye and told us the honest truth: that we were self obsessed, that we were wallowing in our motions, that instead of thinking about how to develop the mindset to achieve great things, we should stop reading and start doing. Help, I have found time and time again, comes not from the self, but from others.”

My journey has fostered a strong desire within me to delve into personal development and conditioning. I used to think that I had to do everything myself (and that it had to be hard), but one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that some of the greatest teachers are simply the people around us. And that it is absolutely imperative that I engage myself in the process of learning from those around me. My main example (which I didn’t realize until recently) is my sister, from whom I learned even the most basic skills. I write a lot about anxiety, and social anxiety in particular was something I really struggled with as a kid and teenager. I literally did not know how to be social. I didn’t know how to conduct myself without feeling painfully awkward and uncomfortable. I was able to develop my social skills by studying my sister’s social skills (she was always the social butterfly). So much so that at a certain point people would tell me I had her mannerisms. 

Point is that all of the self help books and google searches in the world couldn’t help me the way that my sister could (and I don’t think she ever even knew it). At a certain point we have to realize that self help is a wonderful tool, but we need more. 

I will close this by bringing this full circle with my previous point about the breaking of personal ties and the increase in public discourse… how much more so can we close this divide if we simply learn to learn from each other. 

Students of Life

In school, we are not taught how to live life. 

We are not taught how to be happy. 

Or how to be confident.

How to make good friends or build healthy relationships.

How to choose right from wrong. 

How to make decisions.

To separate feelings and emotions from intellect and reasoning. 

If we want to learn how to be successful, happy, true to ourselves, resilient, emotionally, and spiritually developed… we have to take those matters into our own hands. 

I’ve always seen myself as being a student. I've always loved school and education.

But it wasn’t until I started working on myself and my goals that I understood how much I love being a student of life.

What always astounds me is how life itself is our greatest teacher. It is our best coach. It won't give up on us.

Because it always comes back with a new challenge. Often times, an even harder one. 

I've always been passionate about living an amazing, exhilarating, fascinating life. For me personally, the best way to do that is to learn. Learn from the best, from the knowledgable, the strong, the wise… 

This is why I have compiled lists of my favorite resources.. to share with my viewers and followers. You can check them out on my website here. 

What Music Do You Need To Remember? (On Being Reinspired)

 The last several weeks have been quite intense. For the first time in the 8 months that I have been working as a registered nurse, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of going to work. Working as a new nurse in the midst of a global pandemic wasn't even the challenge. 

The last several weeks at work saw one of my patients having to be flown out to another hospital because her case was too complicated (blood leaking out into her lungs from her aorta), the first time having a patient have a stroke, my first time having a patient die on me, having to do CPR and postmortem care and several rapid responses...

For me, medicine has always been about my purpose, my mission, and my passion. I know I'm meant to be in this field and to eventually become a doctor. I love what I do and I'm so grateful I get to do it. 

But the other morning I couldn't see any of that. 

I felt overwhelmed with it all. And even though every nurse waits for her turn to face the inevitable of being in this field and knows that this is what we have chosen... facing people die, having to tell their loved ones, dealing with emergencies... it doesn't make it any easier. 

As I was driving to work that morning, feeling sad and dreading the next 14 hours.... listening to music... a specific song came on that changed everything for me. 

"You never know you crossed the line till you get to the other side... The only way out is to face it... cause no one ever taught us to hide... the hardest walls to fight are the ones we wage inside."

It took me back to my junior year of high school when I had just started at a new school and was having a hard time adjusting. It was a very challenging time in my life so much so that I did something I had never done before (being that I was way too studious and always concerned about doing well in school). 

I totally blanked while taking my chemistry exam. I literally looked at the exam that I had spent hours studying for and for some unknown reason absolutely nothing made any sense to me. I couldn't do simple math or understand simple instructions. It was like my brain shut off. 

I was so overwhelmed at that point that I even tried to turn in the exam right then and there, incomplete, and tell my teacher that I had to go home because I didn't feel well. He told me I could leave once I turned it in. I left school that day right after that class (which was my very first and it was only 7:45am) and spent the rest of the day incapable of doing anything but lying in my bed. I couldn't eat, study, get up, or talk to anyone.

The only thing that comforted me at that moment was this song. I spent hours listening to it. I have no idea why. 

I don't remember what I got on the test... but fast forward 3 years and I got an A in my college chemistry course which was on probation for failing too many students... and 7 years later I'm in a medical program attaining my doctorate in my dream profession. 

I hadn't listened to this song in a very long time, and it had come on so randomly and unexpectedly. I started to cry on my way to work (and it wasn't yet 7am). 

It reminded me of that challenge I had experienced and how horrible I felt at that time. It reminded me of everything I had been able to achieve despite it. It reminded me that I was where I was because I got through so many obstacles. It reminded me of how afraid I was and how I felt so stuck and incapable of succeeding. 

And yet there I was on my chosen trajectory. I was doing everything I had set out to do. And even though it was scary and HARD, I was doing it. 

I decided to see the positive in everything I had experienced in the previous weeks. How I officially felt like a real nurse. How much more confident I am because I've had to deal with these emergencies. How I feel like I can face anything now. How grateful my patients are and all the times I have people tell me they're proud of me or respect me for what I do and for helping their family members. How it is really cool to be part of a team of people who have the skillset to save others. 

At that moment I decided that I was going to have a great day. 

And I did. The first good day at work in a very long time. 

Lesson learned: remember the music. 

What is the music that you need to remember?

The World Is But A Reflection

I recently recalled an experience I had one day before Covid that taught me a lesson in an interesting way. I had come early to my school campus to get some work done. At some point during my studying I found myself looking out the window, spacing out and wondering if the whole doctorate path was worth it for me. At the time I really wasn’t so sure about it and kind of even felt it was becoming a burden of an expectation that I had on myself. 

I noticed that the building across the street constantly had a ton of people entering and leaving. From what I could see they were wearing suits and carrying suitcases, and so I figured it was probably the law school. I then started to think about how much it must suck to have to walk around in a suit all day and come in so early and deal with all those cases. They looked like robots, so ordered and timely and rigid. For a moment I visualized them sitting with a pile of papers at their desks or sitting in on a court case. I imagined how unhappy they all must be, thinking they are striving for what they THINK will make them happy (as if they had to be made happy) to be so willing to spend their time- their lives- in that way. (As if I knew what it was even all about... clearly I was making false assumptions and conclusions in my mind without any context whatsoever). 

As time went on I started to realize that I was only thinking that way because I was reflecting what I saw and making conclusions based off of my own feelings at that time. There I was also coming in early to do work, wearing scrubs, and spending my energy doing something challenging and HARD.

But then I realized that it didn’t have to be hard like that. Not if I enjoyed it and found it to be rewarding. If I was going to look at this choice the way I was, then it would just make me unhappy and everyone else around me according to me would also be unhappy. 

Many times what we see in others is what is going on in ourselves. I had heard of this idea before but never actually understood it.

Those people might love what they do and not even mind the suits, just as despite it being challenging I know today that I love what I do and am proud to wear scrubs (and one day a white coat 😊). I’ve come to find that purpose and passion in it for myself (those that started me on this journey in the first place), and the rewarding feeling being able to walk this path. It took me time to get to that point, and I knew that if I didn’t I’d have to make a switch real fast. It was like an epiphany that lasted 2 minutes but felt like an hour long.

Many times we don’t give our thoughts and feelings enough attention. We don’t sit with them and study them and ask why we think or feel something. And I actually think that being able to do just that can lead us towards our personal truth and path. 🔐 

Wisdom from the Batcave

Currently reading “Wisdom from the Batcave” by Cary Friedman. I figured it would be nice to share some of his ideas about dealing with adversity, considering the fact that we are all dealing with adversity right now in the face of coronavirus.

💡We can always choose how to respond to difficulties and challenges. It's easy to succumb to anxiety and fear and to wallow in self-pity. The true test is to face the difficulties that confront us and try to impose order in our messy lives. 

💡”Misfortune creates opportunities for personal growth, development, and refinement of character.” Use every opportunity to develop and refine yourself. Now is a great time to do this considering that many of us are off from school and work (online school is basically off from school, let’s be real😉). Though it comes with challenges, we have more time now than ever to spend with our immediate families, start or finish a project that is long overdue, and even reconsider the paths we are taking. Facing the truth of your reality may be hard for you, and that in itself is an opportunity to build up resilience and make some important changes in your life. 

💡Generating some light, even if it’s a little bit, begins to dispel the darkness that surrounds us. Stay positive for not only your sake but also those who rely on you and who must now be in your presence for much of their time. Be there for each other, and share your positivity with friends and extended family too.

💡Our personal pain, fear, and struggles can harden us or make us more empathetic and caring towards others. Right now we all need to support each other and when better to do this when we are all in the same boat? Allow this experience to make you kinder, more understanding of others, and more giving of your time and energy to those who might need it. Call a friend, send a message… it’s easier than ever right now to communicate from a distance.

How to be happy despite conflicts and struggles | from a psychiatrist

Currently reading Let Us Make Man by Psychiatrist Dr. Abrahama Twersky.

He makes several points about self-esteem and happiness that really expanded my views on these topics.

Happiness can exist without 100% contentment
We are never going to be fully content. As humans, that is not natural. We are always striving for more and better.
We can be striving and not fully satisfied YET happy at the same time.
Happiness can coexist with discontent.
It allowed me to feel I have the permission and ability to not have everything I want/need and still be happy. 
Sometimes I feel that I need to work harder to earn that happiness, but this reminds it is natural to want more, yet should not confine ourselves to only allowing ourselves to feel happy when we attain that said thing.

We don't always know the meaning that things have.
As humans, we have limited capacity to understand things on a higher level. That is, limited perspective. We see things happening to us on only one level and from one angle. We don't know what it could mean for us in the future and why those things happen. Ever have something seemingly negative happen and then you realize later on that it had a higher place and purpose in your life?

It's good to have faith
If not in G-d or higher power or force... then in the idea that there are things happening that we could not possibly understand how it could be good in any way.
Related to the topic above: there could be something beyond har we see, know and comprehend. 
Trust that your suffering or challenges are not in vain, that there is some transcendental purpose. While it does not remove the pain or answer why these things happen to us, it can give us the courage and strength to deal with tragedy and struggles.

Accepting adversity with happiness 
Accepting adversity with happiness in the sense of faith and trust allows us to feel joy from other events in life that warrant true joy. 

Accept that conflict is natural and so choose to be happy despite it 
We are so obsessed with resolving conflict, that we forget that we can still be happy despite it. We instead must learn to cope with it and overcome it. 

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4 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears | Chronic Anxiety to LOVING Life

I talk a lot about fear and anxiety that I have overcome. 

I want to share with you how I have overcome my fears so well, that I am doing things today that I could have only dreamed about 10 years ago.  

Overcoming fears takes a lot of energy and you have to be intentional because it is unlikely that you will overcome them if you don't try to. 

Sometimes we grow out of our fears but here I am talking about those ideas and beliefs that you have ingrained in you and may be causing issues for you as you grow older. 

Watch the Youtube video here

Also, you want to face the root of your issues because once you do, you understand why you have other struggles. Overcoming my core fears and understanding how they have affected me has allowed me to lead an overall healthier and more fulfilling life. 

#1: Become aware of your fears

You need clarity when it comes to understanding your psychology. Take time to be with yourself and reflect. 

Write them down. list them out. 

#2: Meditate on how developed and from where they come

Think about your childhood, thought patterns, how you were raised, etc. 

Clarity comes through reflection.

Try to think back to when those fears or unhealthy thoughts started. What is your first memory of your fear?

Through thinking about it all you can come to understand your own psychology and how things played out in your life. 

You can pick up on things you didn't before. 

#3: List out how they help you and how they hinder you  

Realize the roles they play in your life. 

Ex: fear of not being perfect hinders me because it overwhelms me with the idea that if I'm not perfect then I'm not enough which leads into a self-esteem issue and lack of self-worth. It helps me because it motivates me to be involved, active and get more done.  

#4: Run towards them, put yourself in situations where you face your fears

Fear is a mechanism for survival.

Do not avoid your fears, embrace them. 

Use it to your advantage to propel you forward.

You can even try to work backwards- starting from where you want to be and thinking about what you would need to do to get there/that. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

How To Let Things Go For Good | Brain Hack

Ready to move on from something or someone, but need a way to process for much-needed clarity and closure?
I have a technique I use that always makes a huge difference. 
Watch my youtube video here to hear it :) 

4 Ways to Deal With Sensitivity | Difficult People

We all deal with being sensitive on some level. Or maybe if we aren't so sensitive, but we still have our moments.

Other times, we aren't just being sensitive. People can be mean and we have to learn how to properly deal with those who are emotionally underdeveloped. 

To watch the video, go here!

Sensitivity is something I had to overcome at a young age. As a child, I was the one who was always upset. Also having been extremely shy and socially anxious, I was always afraid someone would say something hurtful and expected that people would. 

That, as you can imagine, caused many issues for me. I had to learn to overcome that strong emotion and realize that many (if not most or all of the time) these feelings were not necessary. 

There were several things I had to come to understand, and I am still learning about how to be more emotionally healthy all the time. Here are some things you can refer to when you need to step back and recalibrate:

1. Realize that not everything is about you.

The way a person behaves, speaks, what they say and how they say it (even when interacting with you) have nothing to do with you. Most of the time we don't know what is going on in another person's life. Maybe they just lost someone, maybe they're just insecure, maybe they just had a bad interaction with someone else and that's why they're acting rude and cold towards you. Maybe they are sensitive and afraid, and so have built a wall to show that they aren't. The way another person presents themself to you has nothing to do with you. 

2. Building up resilience is always important because there will be times when people are nasty. 

This is the type of advice that mothers give their kids when they're being bullied at school. However, as I get older, I have come to realize that bullying can happen anywhere at any step in the game. In the workplace, especially. It is sad that this is how it is, and it really is unacceptable... but it's inevitable that at some point we will have to overcome the emotions that come with being hurt. Therefore, it is wise for us to arm ourselves with resilience and to prepare ourselves to deal with other people's inabilities to cope with their own emotions. 

"Hurting people hurt people." Ever heard of this? It's so insanely true. Happy people do not go around making other people miserable. Think about it: when you're in a good mood, you have no desire to hurt others. You don't need that validation that you have that kind of power over people, and no need to make somebody feel bad about themselves. 

Some of my other points are referring to when we are being overly-sensitive, but this point is really for everybody. We must learn to bounce back from feeling hurt, afraid of rejection, and disappointment in others for how they behave towards us. 

3. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. 

You cannot determine what other people will say or feel about you. You can only control how you choose to respond. Yes... you can choose how you will respond even when you're feeling angry, hurt, and bitter. 
When you do find yourself in a situation like this, make sure to step back and take some deep breaths. Realize that you're trying your best and are not a bad person. Your feelings are valid and you are not deserving of ill-treatment. Remember that your goals are to focus on yourself and that the only validation you truly need is from yourself. Remember that there is no reason to stoop to that person's level. You are better than that. You are amazing. Amazing people don't need to put others down. 

3. Stay in your lane, focus on yourself (you deserve to).

You don't need to spend time recalling what other people said or did to you (though this is challenging sometimes). You have an amazing life that you're continuing to create and build. Put your energy on that. Focus your energy and attention on the positive aspects of whats going on around/to you. Don't give hurting people the right to make you feel hurt. 
Get back to focusing on yourself, your goals, mission, dreams...
Don't give rude people space in your mind. 
Don't let others live rent-free in your brain. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

WHY I Stopped Watching TV!!| Careful With What I Consume| Alternative Enterntainment

I don't even know how to use one 😂

I know, may sound pathetic and maybe even stupid.

But I have no FOMO when people are talking about their favorite shows and the "funny" or "cool" stuff they see on TV.

I wasn't ever really much of a "binger" anyway. Let alone even watching tv regularly. Last time I watched a series it was Game of Thrones and I honestly think that show scarred me🤣😕

Watcht the youtube video here.

Please don't think I'm looking down at those who love TV or who gain a lot from it. This is for those of you who need a healthy separation from TV/shows/movies (you know who you are) and/or just want to not want to watch TV and need some more inspiration/ideas to step back.

I also want to clarify that I do still watch TV and movies, though it is rare and I am very careful with what I consume. In general, I think it's a good idea to be selective when it comes to what you consume, whether it be food, content, and time with people. Everything effects your energy- protect it. 

Here are the reasons I stopped watching TV and why I am SO SO SO happy that I don't:

1. Why am I watching other people lead fake lives instead of living my own and making my own life my dream life? This thought always gnawed at me. It was in high school when I really stopped caring about tv shows. If I did watch any, it was on youtube and they were the old-school ones like Even Stevens and That's So Raven (still love them and I'm in my mid-twenties lol). They're funny, more relatable, not overwhelming or showing content that will make me feel like the world might come to an end, and are awesome throwbacks.

Also, I was just too busy (in a good way) getting my own stuff done.

Breaks? Consisted of reading, walking, hanging out with friends, working on my passions... LIVING LIFE!! I want to be out here making my dreams come true, working on myself, actually falling in love instead of watching two characters "cry for each other" for whatever made-up reason, making the money so that I can lead a happy lifestyle rather than watch characters on TV go shopping and talk about their (actually🤪) fake friends and over-the-top drama. 

And I am too good for it too. And so are you. We have so much potential and we spend how much time in front of a screen? Include your phone, laptop, etc.

2. What you watch has a real effect on you. This is a big one for me. Maybe because I'm sensitive to violence and other frightening things like war and gory images that even combat servicemen and women actually get PTSD from!! And I'm a nurse, people!! I've seen scary stuff but that's a whole other game!!

Point is: our subconscious is affected by seeing this stuff. The emotions we feel from watching other people die and/or suffer... our brain can't tell the difference between something we think about and something that actually happened (Joe Dispenza, check him out). Again, servicemembers suffer from PTSD and depression from seeing this stuff and we are choosing to watch it?!

Perhaps some people like the thrill, but this all affects me so much so that I still remember some scenes from movies I saw long ago that I wish I could forget. People murdering each other with their hands (so not normal and I just wrote that out like it was nothing), inappropriate content that should be special between two people but is being made into a choreographed dance of explicitness (you wouldn't want your family members up there doing that, but you're perfectly fine watching someone else's).

What are people taking away from these things?
Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, misunderstanding of what real connection between people actually is, all the dramatic world-coming-to-an-end catastrophic play. 
It's honestly exhausting. 

I've never watched one of those cop shows or the ones where terrorists have taken over... I've seen some parts here and there but quickly feel exhausted just from watching these actors running, screaming, and crying all the time.

Do you think it's healthy for somebody to be watching a show like Game of Thrones that has so much blood, war, and x-rated content? Sure, it may be entertaining. That's what these producers and actors are here for. Why do you think they make so much cha-ching💸? I personally just think it's kind of crazy for people to be consuming content filled with so much reference to violence, death, and the other factors I mentioned.

3. I hate all the hidden messages! Let's face it. TV shows and movies can be/are so political. There are so many hidden messages and ways that producers and writers sneak in their world views on those who consume their content. Maybe I sound like an old fart, but I must say even Disney channel shows have turned to garbage. The old ones were 🥰 but the ones today are all about broken homes, parents too dumb for their own kids, and conformity with political movements which may or may not be a positive thing. Let's not even talk about the inappropriate add-ins. Watching some of these shows with my younger siblings... I get shocked. I don't even want to hear this stuff and this is what their young minds are consuming? 

I want to provide some alternatives for you guys.

1. Get rid of certain channels (or the TV entirely😛). I know y'all think I'm crazy. My parents got rid of our TV when I was in middle school LOL, and it was honestly great. I spent more time on other more valuable things, never had to deal with the struggle of trying to get myself away from the TV, and eventually became this person who doesn't care for it. 

2. Utilize Youtube and/or other forms of entertainment. I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching educational and personal development content (and creating it too here😝). I've probably read the equivalent of 100 books in the amount of content I've consumed about healthy living, personal growth, self-improvement, career development, psychology, science, marketing, business, etc. SO MUCH AMAZING CONTENT that is actually worth my time. Focus on that stuff. You deserve it. Give it to yourself. Allow yourself the time to be your best. And the great thing is that I can listen to them anywhere and anytime.
Books and audiobooks
Music
Making time for a hobby or a side gig
Sending more time with your family
Getting involved in your community
Actually relaxing your tired brain after work and just sitting and drinking tea or that glass of wine you treat yourself to every night. Turn on some relaxing music instead to wind down. Compare this to cop car sirens and explosions in your favorite shows 😅. Allow your brain to actually get a break.
Treating yourself to a nice long bath.
Getting more sleep. A big one! How many of you can say you are guilty of going to bed late because of a show/movie and not getting the recommended (and needed- studies show) 7.5-8 hours of sleep? Actually treat your body and mind to a real gift that it NEEDS- SLEEP!

Act now, thank me later 😉

3. Make a plan for yourself for what you will do instead of watching TV/movies regularly. What will you do on the weekends? ake other plans? Explore the city, watch a documentary, invite some friends over, go to a karaoke bar...
Preferably do this after step 1 🤓

Did I miss anything? What do you guys do to relax or unwind from the day that doesn't involve TV/movies?

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

4 Best Ways to Stay Consistent | REACH YOUR GOALS

I always had this desire to be a good cook. I started practicing cooking when I was a teenager, but I wasn't all that great at it. 

I remember I made cookies one time. They were the ones that were frozen and you just had to defrost them. I put them in the oven and I burned them and it was a whole mess. 

Ever since then my siblings would make fun of me about my lack of baking and cooking skills and whenever I would make something, nobody would want to try it and this was just years of me being the butt of the joke when it came to not knowing how to cook. 

Over the years I was just trying but I wasn’t so successful, mainly because I just wasn’t consistent. I would tell myself that I would start cooking and baking and I only ended up cooking or baking about once a month, if even. 

Fast forward to a couple of years later when I started living at home again. I also had food sensitivities so I couldn't eat a lot of the foods that I was eating before.

So I started having to cook for myself because I just wanted to eat something that tasted good and that wouldn’t hurt me. 

I started cooking more consistently and I remember thinking to myself that one day I’m going to make something so good and everyone is going to want to eat it or I’m just going to end up being a really good cook and cooking is going to work out for me and I’m no longer going to be making jokes about myself about how I can't cook. 

That time has finally come. Thank G-d, LOL. 

It has been already several dishes that I’ve made and crafted on my own I thought of the ingredients and everything surrounding the dish which to me is a pretty big deal. I remember always looking at my sisters who are really good at cooking and they would always just put stuff together and it would come out really good and then I would follow a recipe that was supposed to be so good but it would turn out awful

I’ve actually come to a point in my life where I am somewhat considered to be a good cook. I guess according to my standards LOL. From the feedback that I received from my family and they are very particular. 

I want to talk about how I was able to stay consistent to become a (relatively) good cook and baker. 

The first thing that I want to recommend that you guys do if you’re trying to stay consistent is to have a goal plan. 

I like to make plans for everything. I find planning goals to be extremely helpful. For everything that I’ve done in my life, I’ve always had a plan. 

How am I going to reach my goals? 

What am I specifically going to do? 

When am I going to do those things? How am I going to do those things? 

There was a time when I didn’t have as much access to a kitchen. So I didn’t actually have a way to improve on my cooking. 

Side tip: be specific with your goals and how you will achieve them.

Making sure that I have access to the kitchen and to the ingredients that I need. I know it sounds so simple and obvious, but it’s such a major point. Because there are so many times that I didn’t even have the things that I needed and so I ended up just not cooking. So now I make sure that I have everything that I need to cook.

The second thing that I’ve always made sure to do is to journal. I’ve been journaling all my life but I started taking it very seriously at the start of this new year 2020. 

I told myself that I will journal every single day about what I was proud of, what I was disappointed about, how I was thinking, what I was feeling. What I ate and how I felt after I ate.

Now that January is coming to an end, I am looking through my month. I write things that I wanted to do and successfully did, and then also things that I wanted to do but didn’t do.

Then you look back and you realize that this is why you have or haven’t been improving. You are eating a ton of sugar, for example, and that is why you haven’t been feeling better or haven’t been reaching your fitness goals. When you look back you realize that you have been eating too much sugar to reach your goals. You realize more than you would’ve realized had you not taking notes of it.

The next tip is to do at least one thing every single day that brings you closer to your goal. Or this can be every two days or several times a week or even once a week. It depends on you. Be proud of your goals and don’t compare them to someone else’s. This is your journey and something that has to work for you not for your best friends or for your parents.

There is a thin technique that I learned from one of the books that I’m reading. It’s super simple. 

Instead of just thinking that you’re going to do something or not do something, you’re going to say it out loud that you are going to do it or you’re not going to do it. 

So for example, if I know that I need to consistently cook to improve on my skills and to perfect the skills that I already have and to find the best way to make the recipes... I will tell myself in the morning, "today I’m going to make myself lunch instead of just thinking it. I’m going to make myself this dish that I want to perfect and try it out maybe even in a different way and have one of my sisters try it out." 

Make it a consistent benchmark that you’re going to use to get consistently better at your goals. 

Keep yourself accountable. If I didn’t cook for myself then I just wouldn’t be able to eat anything that I liked. I don’t wanna just be sitting there and eating cucumbers, tomatoes, and mushrooms because that’s so boring. That’s the repercussion of not cooking for myself. 

For when I try not to reach for a sugary snack... I will say out loud I am choosing not to eat this because if I do eat this bar then I won’t feel good. I will probably feel a bit sick and especially if I’m going to work out today I will feel sluggish and I will also feel disappointed in myself for not keeping to my goals.

I just look at all of the different issues and negative things about eating that sugary snack. Or if I do eat that snack and I end up not feeling all that great afterward then I sit down and have a conversation with myself to go over the reasons why I’m not feeling well and what those reasons may have to do with the snack. 

I ask myself if I do X, Y or Z am I going to be able to write that I am proud of that or that I’m disappointed about that when I go to my journaling at night. 

I always ask myself the questions:

Will this hurt you or will it hinder you? 

Will this make you feel good or make you feel bad in the long run?

Is it helping me achieve my goals or is it moving me further away from achieving my goals? 

Making your goals a necessity. For me, cooking for myself and not eating a lot of sugary things is a necessity because those are ways that I can make sure that I feel good throughout the day. It for you it’s trying to get yourself to work out regularly, then that is a necessity because by not working out and sticking to that goal you don’t feel as confident, you feel sluggish, you feel like you’re putting on weight which doesn’t feel all that great. 

When you start to think of your goals from a different perspective it starts to play out a greater role in value in your life. 

And remember that this is all about having it be long-term. It’s not just about feeling good for five minutes or a day or a week. It’s about feeling good for life. It's about your lifestyle. Create a lifestyle that works for you in order to have a life you enjoy. 

Think of all of the amazing changes that are going to occur if you start being consistent about reaching your goals. Within just a couple of weeks, you could feel so much better. Even in just one day or a week.

I hope you guys enjoyed my video and this article! Make sure to subscribe and follow for more content :)

To view the video version of this blog post, go here!

#consistencyiskey #reachyourdreams #howtostayconsistent #focusongoals #productivelifestyle #personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes