Monday, February 10, 2020

4 Ways to Deal With Sensitivity | Difficult People

We all deal with being sensitive on some level. Or maybe if we aren't so sensitive, but we still have our moments.

Other times, we aren't just being sensitive. People can be mean and we have to learn how to properly deal with those who are emotionally underdeveloped. 


To watch the video, go here!
Sensitivity is something I had to overcome at a young age. As a child, I was the one who was always upset. Also having been extremely shy and socially anxious, I was always afraid someone would say something hurtful and expected that people would. 

That, as you can imagine, caused many issues for me. I had to learn to overcome that strong emotion and realize that many (if not most or all of the time) these feelings were not necessary. 

There were several things I had to come to understand, and I am still learning about how to be more emotionally healthy all the time. Here are some things you can refer to when you need to step back and recalibrate:

1. Realize that not everything is about you.

The way a person behaves, speaks, what they say and how they say it (even when interacting with you) have nothing to do with you. Most of the time we don't know what is going on in another person's life. Maybe they just lost someone, maybe they're just insecure, maybe they just had a bad interaction with someone else and that's why they're acting rude and cold towards you. Maybe they are sensitive and afraid, and so have built a wall to show that they aren't. The way another person presents themself to you has nothing to do with you. 

2. Building up resilience is always important because there will be times when people are nasty. 

This is the type of advice that mothers give their kids when they're being bullied at school. However, as I get older, I have come to realize that bullying can happen anywhere at any step in the game. In the workplace, especially. It is sad that this is how it is, and it really is unacceptable... but it's inevitable that at some point we will have to overcome the emotions that come with being hurt. Therefore, it is wise for us to arm ourselves with resilience and to prepare ourselves to deal with other people's inabilities to cope with their own emotions. 

"Hurting people hurt people." Ever heard of this? It's so insanely true. Happy people do not go around making other people miserable. Think about it: when you're in a good mood, you have no desire to hurt others. You don't need that validation that you have that kind of power over people, and no need to make somebody feel bad about themselves. 

Some of my other points are referring to when we are being overly-sensitive, but this point is really for everybody. We must learn to bounce back from feeling hurt, afraid of rejection, and disappointment in others for how they behave towards us. 

3. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. 

You cannot determine what other people will say or feel about you. You can only control how you choose to respond. Yes... you can choose how you will respond even when you're feeling angry, hurt, and bitter. 
When you do find yourself in a situation like this, make sure to step back and take some deep breaths. Realize that you're trying your best and are not a bad person. Your feelings are valid and you are not deserving of ill-treatment. Remember that your goals are to focus on yourself and that the only validation you truly need is from yourself. Remember that there is no reason to stoop to that person's level. You are better than that. You are amazing. Amazing people don't need to put others down. 

3. Stay in your lane, focus on yourself (you deserve to).

You don't need to spend time recalling what other people said or did to you (though this is challenging sometimes). You have an amazing life that you're continuing to create and build. Put your energy on that. Focus your energy and attention on the positive aspects of whats going on around/to you. Don't give hurting people the right to make you feel hurt. 
Get back to focusing on yourself, your goals, mission, dreams...
Don't give rude people space in your mind. 
Don't let others live rent-free in your brain. 

No comments: