Let Go of Control

For the longest time I struggled to let go of needing to control even things that I knew I had no control over. 

I would work myself to exhaustion, not allow myself to fully enjoy any breaks from my hard work, and would feel guilty whenever I wasn’t being “productive.”

Because I was so hard on myself, I would never feel a sense of fulfillment. No matter how hard I worked. I found myself completely unhappy, and even desperate for that self acceptance that I would never get while stuck in that mindset. 

A lot of the lessons that I have learned in life, I have learned through those around me. As I always say, other people are our second greatest teachers. The greatest teacher is life itself. 

And I have learned from both other people and from life, that working yourself beyond full capacity and trying to control everything in the process, is never going to lead to fulfillment and happiness.

I realized that the people who would put in their honest effort, and then step back and let everything else work out for them, were the happiest and the ones who usually actually had things work out for them. 

Once I learned to let go, I became a much happier and healthier person. 

But it took me several years to be able to get to that point in life. 

I started living by the idea that the universe has my back. And since I have been able to truly believe and live that, I have seen so much more from life. 

I started truly living by the fact that everything is always really working out for me as long as I am putting in my honest effort and taking aligned action.

I have a newfound sense of peace and self-love. I have a newfound love for life itself. I don’t wake up in the morning with severe anxiety. I wake up looking forward to all the things that I will get to do- all the things I love and that bring me purpose.

All because of a mindset shift.

How to focus on your personal journey through life

 ✨Everyone is different (has different skills, strengths and weaknesses) and therefore have different paths. Don't compare yourself.

✨You are unique- you are the only person who has your life. Look at your strengths and weaknesses to better understand what your purpose might be.

✨Everyone has different challenges and obstacles so just because someone else has something that you don’t, it doesn’t mean that he or she is better than you. You may have different circumstances. Instead of asking "why not me," ask, "how can that be me too?"

✨Your life is about building yourself so build yourself to become the person you always wanted to be. In the meantime, try to build others up with you.

✨Learn from others- if someone has something you want (for example, a trait), work towards achieving it. Ask them for mentorship or advice. See what they might be doing right, and try to model that. You will actually find yourself appreciating this person, rather than feeling envy towards him or her.

✨Make a list of all the things you desire. Doing this will help you to stay focused. It will keep you going when things get tough. Additionally, write down WHY you want those things. Refer back to this list when you don't feel motivated or when you feel like giving up.

✨Make a list of things to do when you are bored, so that you never find yourself sitting around thinking about things that really don’t matter to you. the good thing about being busy is that you don't have time to waste on things that are unimportant. Focus on the things that keep you happy and productive. This list can include going for a walk, spending time with someone you love, reading a book on your reading list, researching that topic you wanted to the other day but didn't have a chance to explore, or tidying up your personal space.

The Role of Relationships in Happiness and Well-Being

There was something interesting that I read over Shabbat while reading Positive Psychology by Bridget Grenville-Cleave.

According to longitudinal research published in the British Medical Journal, moods and behaviors are contagious and people’s happiness depends on the happiness of those with whom they are connected. It’s pretty interesting, because even a friend who lives within a mile and becomes happier increases the probability that you will also be happier by 25%.

In the 1980s, the UK psychologist Michael Argyle’s work suggested that relationships were one of the most influential factors for human well-being. More recent positive psychology models of human well-being continue to stress the significance of relationships to our happiness.

In a world filled with so many distractions, it’s easier than ever to miss out on true quality time.

Several years ago, I took a course on the psychology of happiness that was led by Harvard professor Tal Ben Shahar (an Israeli, which made me even more excited to take the course😅). 

In a recent interview, he said that, “the number one predictor of happiness is the time we spend with people we care about and care about us. The most important source of happiness may be the person sitting next to you. Appreciate them, and savor the time you spent together.”

To learn more, visit the link in my bio and view my favorite resources here. 

The Most Important Step I Have Ever Taken

 📚I am currently reading "No Excuses!" by Brian Tracy, a world-renown motivational speaker, and self-development author. He discusses several ways to become more disciplined in order to ultimately reach your dreams and goals.

Write out a list of things you want to achieve within the next year, 5 years, and 10 years... whatever you want.

✨Then under each goal, write out 1, 2, or more actions you need to take to achieve that goal. 

📝Along with this list, write out a list of character traits you want to possess. If you were to be 100% happy with yourself, what characteristics would you have? If you were to envision the best version of yourself, how would you and others describe you?

💡Then decide that you are willing to work hard for these things. Decide that you are going to put in an active effort to make these goals and dreams a reality. Decide that you are going to view your goals and dreams as actual plans.

And remember this: Dreams don't work unless you do and happiness comes when your life aligns with your blueprint.

Download my personal development workbook for more personal assistance! It will walk you through 30 days of staying on track with your goals!

Living as the Highest Versions of Ourselves

Well, it's been 3 months since I've written a blog post. That's how I know I've been truly busy. 

There are so many experiences I've had in such a short period of time. Where to begin?

So much I have learned- things I have realized, accepted, changed, applied to my life, let go of...

I want to share one realization/experience. 

The other week, I experienced a moment of intense truth. Perhaps an epiphany. Not quite sure. 

I was exhausted.
Exhausted from all the noise. Noise from thoughts playing over and over in my head, focusing on external things, social media, other people, trying to figure out if I'm doing well, trying to find myself in various settings of my life that are all so contrasting. I feel like 3 different people. I can't be the same person in all the settings in which I exist. Or at least I don't know how to be. That's something I'm still trying to figure out. 

Through all the chaos, I lost my clarity. 

I couldn't hear myself trying to pipe through all the static that was everything around me. 

As I took a moment to say Maariv (evening prayer), I paused to share some of my thoughts with G-d. Except I couldn't find words. And even if I could, I didn't want to speak them. Because words couldn't express what I was feeling. 

I felt stuck. 

And what I suddenly thought to myself was: I want to find myself. 

Not find myself in what I do or how I spend my time, my career, job, friends or religion. 

No. I wanted to find who I am at my core. 

So I got very quiet and let everything else go. I let go of what I was feeling on the outside, who I was with, where I was before, and where I was going afterward. 

I suddenly found myself so in tune with the reality of who I really am- my true desires, goals, and aspirations... my clarity, internal compass... the voice that had been trying so hard to be heard. 

My energy healer once told me that the voice we need to listen to is often the one that is quieter. 

I was finally able to hear that voice. 

I knew it was that voice because for the first time in a long time I felt free. I felt happy and grateful. Even things that had upset me... I was just so grateful they happened because I understood they helped me to grow. I suddenly felt full. Full of joy, pride, and happiness. What had been pain suddenly became inspirational. What had been sadness suddenly became happiness. I felt honesty, forgiveness, truth, and self-love. 

I was so happy, I began to cry. I just thought, "Oh my gosh, this is what I have been looking and waiting for. This is the truth. This is where I want to stay." 

I cried mostly because I realized just how much I truly loved that person. 

Just how truly I loved myself. 

When I was finally able to reach and meet her... and be her for a moment, I wanted to continue to exist as her. Rather than existing as a version of myself molded by falsity. Rather than exiting as the version who needed to fit into other people's definitions of "normal" or "acceptable."

As I came back to grounding myself to where I was in that moment- surrounded by other people and not in the right environment to cry hysterically (and either way how could I explain all this to someone who could've asked me why I was seemingly upset)- I had to disconnect myself from that highest version of myself. 

At that moment, I couldn't embrace her without being emotional. 

But I was so happy to know that she would be there (just as she had been there all along), for when I could reconnect and grow closer and closer to her until I would be her. 

That brought me to today. I saw a journal prompt that asked: how can I love myself even deeper?

And my response came to me suddenly: I can love myself more deeply by genuinely embracing who and what I am by turning inwards to inquire what my true and highest self would do, how she would react, what she would say and choose... because I love who I truly am and I can actively continue to love myself by embracing life (with its loves and losses) through her. If I am the highest version of myself who I love, how could I not love myself?  If anything, I will love myself more than I ever have. 

As the highest version of myself, I will not chase. I will attract. I will be kind, giving, understanding, and genuine. I will follow my own lead, instead of following another's. I will do what is right for me, instead of seeking direction and guidance from others who cannot offer it to me. I will live by truth and clarity. 

Every choice will be made by me as the highest version of myself. 

I want this, not that. 

This is right for me. That is not right for me. 

This person belongs in my life. That person does not belong in my life. 

I embrace this. I let go of that. 

These thoughts serve me. Those thoughts are being released from my mind's soundtrack. 

Be still. Be quiet. Disconnect to reconnect. 

It may take more than one try. 

But sooner or later, you will meet yourself and it will be evident. 

Your truth will be self-evident. 

There Is No Room to Be Angry About the Struggle

 “As long as you are alive, you are going to experience struggle- and that is okay. Reward yourself for your victories and be honest about your failings. But there is no room to be angry about the struggle itself; that’s how it is meant to be.”

When I read this excerpt in “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid” by Michal Oshman, who is the head of culture at TikTok Europe and former leadership expert at Facebook, I felt very impacted by it. 

Just like many others, anxiety has always been a majorly present factor in my life. In particular, I have always felt the need to control and understand everything. And if I couldn’t… fear and panic would take over. Over time, I learned to manage and cope. However, I couldn’t truly just let go of needing control over what and how things happen.

There have been several major “aha” moments in my life, and this was one of them. It was one of those moments where all of a sudden so many things made sense, and I couldn’t have come to this understanding and conclusion if not for all of the things that I experienced that I previously could not understand why I had to struggle through them. What a paradox! 

All of a sudden so many things I was constantly questioning their necessity and why they had to happen…. were actually exactly what I needed to come to learn this major lesson in my life that seems to be the key to my understanding it all. In a sense, the answers I have been seeking were hidden within the chaos and confusion itself.

I am even going to be so bold as to claim that the answers ARE the chaos and confusion. How?

Because they are exactly what we need and are meant to experience. Instead of questioning why we go through certain things, we should look at occurrences- both the good and the bad- as direction regarding where we can and need to grow in life… which is what life is all about- constantly evolving. 

What I need to learn and grow through are completely different from others, and vice versa. Which is another reason why comparison to others makes actual zero sense. 

💡The answers are within the questions themselves. You just have to get to that point where you can be a vessel to understand the truth. Meaning, you absolutely must work through the chaos to even be able to understand that which you desire to understand. I have always heard that “things are how they are meant to be” but it sounded so cliche to me. Even though I believe in G-d and that things happen for a reason and everyone has a purpose and particular mission…. I didn’t really internalize  and conceptualize what that meant…. until this moment. 

👉🏻 It’s true that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. For a very long time I had been trying to internalize this message and live by it, but I couldn’t. It didn’t really make sense to me though I felt like it should. But when you can internalize that things are as they are meant to be and so there is really no need to dread or fight the struggle, you can understand that if that is true…. then it only makes sense that everything really does happen for you and not to you because things are supposed to be that certain way (often times for reasons we won’t understand and that’s okay). If xyz are supposed to be part of your life, it’s good that they’re there. Which leads me to my next point. 

🗣 Everything in our lives is here to teach us a lesson, help us grow, and make us who we are supposed to be. I believe I have my particular strengths because I am meant to play a certain role and complete a particular mission in this world. So too for everyone else. 

It’s so simple and undeniably true. 

But not until you can get to the point of understanding it.

And the only way to get there is to work through your own personal struggles and fears and shortcomings (though it sometimes sucks 😢). 

Even when things seem to be complicated, they’re not. They’re simply what they are and we just need to understand that things are meant to be a certain way… and so they will be… and that’s okay. That’s part of our journey. 

Which also made me realize how much I’ve overcomplicated things, though then again I am only human after all 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

And if that’s the case, then the final conclusion is that we are to give up trying to have full control while focusing on what we can change, find the lessons within the struggles so as to learn and grow from them, and simply enjoy life for everything it is and isn’t meant to be. 

There’s nothing to argue or hate or be angry about. 

It quite simply is. 

And there is so much undeniable peace in that. 

———————————

I will conclude this by sharing the serenity prayer, with which I am absolutely obsessed: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Perfection Is Not a Skill and Should Not Be Our Goal

The other week I had a chance to read a bit about this week’s Parshat Vayigash on Chabad.org and came across an interesting article comparing Joseph and Judah. Of course, there is a takeaway message that we can incorporate into our lives⤵️

🤴🏻Joseph: the unofficial kind of Egypt. Has the glory that Judah lacked. Was more handsome, successful and loved. He was perfect, but his perfection was fragile. When things broke he was unable to fix them. The Torah recounts more examples of this. 

👨🏻Judah: a peasant shepherd whose shortcomings the Torah recounts over and over. However, he has the advantage of rising back up and build himself up again when he falls. This is a skill that Joseph lacks despite all his glory and wealth.

⚖️This dichotomy continues between those who are perfect until they falter, and those who mess up time after time and can still manage to rise up again.

🗝Despite how perfect someone or something might be, it won’t matter for long if it’s fleeting. That which is lasting and durable is what defines us at the end of the day. 

⚡️It’s not about with what we are born, but rather what we make of it and present it in our lives. Those who truly win are those who can endure, persevere, “deconstruct their personalities in order to reshape them,” channel low points into growth, draw wisdom and maturity from experience, and not allow their imperfections to set them back. 

Shabbat shalom! 

Turn Your Breakdown Into A Breakthrough

 I was talking to a friend the other day about the concept of choosing to allow things to build you instead of break you. 

Then today while listening to a class by Gedale Fenster, he expounded on the same concept in different words. He said, “allow your breakdown to become a breakthrough.”

I kept replaying those words in my head. How amazing it is that we can respond to things in one of two ways, and the choice is entirely up to us. 

I think about inspiring people who I follow or know personally, and how each one has his or her own challenges. Those people choose to allow their setbacks to make them stronger, and to make them even better at living out their personal mission and purpose. They use the pain to grow and propel them forward. 

Many times we look at difficulties and personal struggles as something negative and “bad.” But how do we know they really are?

Perhaps if we redefine the definition of “good” and “bad”, or even allow things to show themselves for what they truly are (by being open-minded and playing fair to the truths that are possible for us), then we can make the challenges into beautiful things. Whether it is a purpose, calling, passion, redirection, redefinition of values, and goals… 

There will often be forks in the road. 

Which way will you choose?

The World Is But A Reflection

I recently recalled an experience I had one day before Covid that taught me a lesson in an interesting way. I had come early to my school campus to get some work done. At some point during my studying I found myself looking out the window, spacing out and wondering if the whole doctorate path was worth it for me. At the time I really wasn’t so sure about it and kind of even felt it was becoming a burden of an expectation that I had on myself. 

I noticed that the building across the street constantly had a ton of people entering and leaving. From what I could see they were wearing suits and carrying suitcases, and so I figured it was probably the law school. I then started to think about how much it must suck to have to walk around in a suit all day and come in so early and deal with all those cases. They looked like robots, so ordered and timely and rigid. For a moment I visualized them sitting with a pile of papers at their desks or sitting in on a court case. I imagined how unhappy they all must be, thinking they are striving for what they THINK will make them happy (as if they had to be made happy) to be so willing to spend their time- their lives- in that way. (As if I knew what it was even all about... clearly I was making false assumptions and conclusions in my mind without any context whatsoever). 

As time went on I started to realize that I was only thinking that way because I was reflecting what I saw and making conclusions based off of my own feelings at that time. There I was also coming in early to do work, wearing scrubs, and spending my energy doing something challenging and HARD.

But then I realized that it didn’t have to be hard like that. Not if I enjoyed it and found it to be rewarding. If I was going to look at this choice the way I was, then it would just make me unhappy and everyone else around me according to me would also be unhappy. 

Many times what we see in others is what is going on in ourselves. I had heard of this idea before but never actually understood it.

Those people might love what they do and not even mind the suits, just as despite it being challenging I know today that I love what I do and am proud to wear scrubs (and one day a white coat 😊). I’ve come to find that purpose and passion in it for myself (those that started me on this journey in the first place), and the rewarding feeling being able to walk this path. It took me time to get to that point, and I knew that if I didn’t I’d have to make a switch real fast. It was like an epiphany that lasted 2 minutes but felt like an hour long.

Many times we don’t give our thoughts and feelings enough attention. We don’t sit with them and study them and ask why we think or feel something. And I actually think that being able to do just that can lead us towards our personal truth and path. 🔐 

Wisdom from the Batcave

Currently reading “Wisdom from the Batcave” by Cary Friedman. I figured it would be nice to share some of his ideas about dealing with adversity, considering the fact that we are all dealing with adversity right now in the face of coronavirus.

💡We can always choose how to respond to difficulties and challenges. It's easy to succumb to anxiety and fear and to wallow in self-pity. The true test is to face the difficulties that confront us and try to impose order in our messy lives. 

💡”Misfortune creates opportunities for personal growth, development, and refinement of character.” Use every opportunity to develop and refine yourself. Now is a great time to do this considering that many of us are off from school and work (online school is basically off from school, let’s be real😉). Though it comes with challenges, we have more time now than ever to spend with our immediate families, start or finish a project that is long overdue, and even reconsider the paths we are taking. Facing the truth of your reality may be hard for you, and that in itself is an opportunity to build up resilience and make some important changes in your life. 

💡Generating some light, even if it’s a little bit, begins to dispel the darkness that surrounds us. Stay positive for not only your sake but also those who rely on you and who must now be in your presence for much of their time. Be there for each other, and share your positivity with friends and extended family too.

💡Our personal pain, fear, and struggles can harden us or make us more empathetic and caring towards others. Right now we all need to support each other and when better to do this when we are all in the same boat? Allow this experience to make you kinder, more understanding of others, and more giving of your time and energy to those who might need it. Call a friend, send a message… it’s easier than ever right now to communicate from a distance.

How to be happy despite conflicts and struggles | from a psychiatrist

Currently reading Let Us Make Man by Psychiatrist Dr. Abrahama Twersky.

He makes several points about self-esteem and happiness that really expanded my views on these topics.

Happiness can exist without 100% contentment
We are never going to be fully content. As humans, that is not natural. We are always striving for more and better.
We can be striving and not fully satisfied YET happy at the same time.
Happiness can coexist with discontent.
It allowed me to feel I have the permission and ability to not have everything I want/need and still be happy. 
Sometimes I feel that I need to work harder to earn that happiness, but this reminds it is natural to want more, yet should not confine ourselves to only allowing ourselves to feel happy when we attain that said thing.

We don't always know the meaning that things have.
As humans, we have limited capacity to understand things on a higher level. That is, limited perspective. We see things happening to us on only one level and from one angle. We don't know what it could mean for us in the future and why those things happen. Ever have something seemingly negative happen and then you realize later on that it had a higher place and purpose in your life?

It's good to have faith
If not in G-d or higher power or force... then in the idea that there are things happening that we could not possibly understand how it could be good in any way.
Related to the topic above: there could be something beyond har we see, know and comprehend. 
Trust that your suffering or challenges are not in vain, that there is some transcendental purpose. While it does not remove the pain or answer why these things happen to us, it can give us the courage and strength to deal with tragedy and struggles.

Accepting adversity with happiness 
Accepting adversity with happiness in the sense of faith and trust allows us to feel joy from other events in life that warrant true joy. 

Accept that conflict is natural and so choose to be happy despite it 
We are so obsessed with resolving conflict, that we forget that we can still be happy despite it. We instead must learn to cope with it and overcome it. 

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4 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears | Chronic Anxiety to LOVING Life

I talk a lot about fear and anxiety that I have overcome. 

I want to share with you how I have overcome my fears so well, that I am doing things today that I could have only dreamed about 10 years ago.  

Overcoming fears takes a lot of energy and you have to be intentional because it is unlikely that you will overcome them if you don't try to. 

Sometimes we grow out of our fears but here I am talking about those ideas and beliefs that you have ingrained in you and may be causing issues for you as you grow older. 

Watch the Youtube video here

Also, you want to face the root of your issues because once you do, you understand why you have other struggles. Overcoming my core fears and understanding how they have affected me has allowed me to lead an overall healthier and more fulfilling life. 

#1: Become aware of your fears

You need clarity when it comes to understanding your psychology. Take time to be with yourself and reflect. 

Write them down. list them out. 

#2: Meditate on how developed and from where they come

Think about your childhood, thought patterns, how you were raised, etc. 

Clarity comes through reflection.

Try to think back to when those fears or unhealthy thoughts started. What is your first memory of your fear?

Through thinking about it all you can come to understand your own psychology and how things played out in your life. 

You can pick up on things you didn't before. 

#3: List out how they help you and how they hinder you  

Realize the roles they play in your life. 

Ex: fear of not being perfect hinders me because it overwhelms me with the idea that if I'm not perfect then I'm not enough which leads into a self-esteem issue and lack of self-worth. It helps me because it motivates me to be involved, active and get more done.  

#4: Run towards them, put yourself in situations where you face your fears

Fear is a mechanism for survival.

Do not avoid your fears, embrace them. 

Use it to your advantage to propel you forward.

You can even try to work backwards- starting from where you want to be and thinking about what you would need to do to get there/that. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

How To Let Things Go For Good | Brain Hack

Ready to move on from something or someone, but need a way to process for much-needed clarity and closure?
I have a technique I use that always makes a huge difference. 
Watch my youtube video here to hear it :) 

WHY I Stopped Watching TV!!| Careful With What I Consume| Alternative Enterntainment

I don't even know how to use one 😂

I know, may sound pathetic and maybe even stupid.

But I have no FOMO when people are talking about their favorite shows and the "funny" or "cool" stuff they see on TV.

I wasn't ever really much of a "binger" anyway. Let alone even watching tv regularly. Last time I watched a series it was Game of Thrones and I honestly think that show scarred me🤣😕

Watcht the youtube video here.

Please don't think I'm looking down at those who love TV or who gain a lot from it. This is for those of you who need a healthy separation from TV/shows/movies (you know who you are) and/or just want to not want to watch TV and need some more inspiration/ideas to step back.

I also want to clarify that I do still watch TV and movies, though it is rare and I am very careful with what I consume. In general, I think it's a good idea to be selective when it comes to what you consume, whether it be food, content, and time with people. Everything effects your energy- protect it. 

Here are the reasons I stopped watching TV and why I am SO SO SO happy that I don't:

1. Why am I watching other people lead fake lives instead of living my own and making my own life my dream life? This thought always gnawed at me. It was in high school when I really stopped caring about tv shows. If I did watch any, it was on youtube and they were the old-school ones like Even Stevens and That's So Raven (still love them and I'm in my mid-twenties lol). They're funny, more relatable, not overwhelming or showing content that will make me feel like the world might come to an end, and are awesome throwbacks.

Also, I was just too busy (in a good way) getting my own stuff done.

Breaks? Consisted of reading, walking, hanging out with friends, working on my passions... LIVING LIFE!! I want to be out here making my dreams come true, working on myself, actually falling in love instead of watching two characters "cry for each other" for whatever made-up reason, making the money so that I can lead a happy lifestyle rather than watch characters on TV go shopping and talk about their (actually🤪) fake friends and over-the-top drama. 

And I am too good for it too. And so are you. We have so much potential and we spend how much time in front of a screen? Include your phone, laptop, etc.

2. What you watch has a real effect on you. This is a big one for me. Maybe because I'm sensitive to violence and other frightening things like war and gory images that even combat servicemen and women actually get PTSD from!! And I'm a nurse, people!! I've seen scary stuff but that's a whole other game!!

Point is: our subconscious is affected by seeing this stuff. The emotions we feel from watching other people die and/or suffer... our brain can't tell the difference between something we think about and something that actually happened (Joe Dispenza, check him out). Again, servicemembers suffer from PTSD and depression from seeing this stuff and we are choosing to watch it?!

Perhaps some people like the thrill, but this all affects me so much so that I still remember some scenes from movies I saw long ago that I wish I could forget. People murdering each other with their hands (so not normal and I just wrote that out like it was nothing), inappropriate content that should be special between two people but is being made into a choreographed dance of explicitness (you wouldn't want your family members up there doing that, but you're perfectly fine watching someone else's).

What are people taking away from these things?
Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, misunderstanding of what real connection between people actually is, all the dramatic world-coming-to-an-end catastrophic play. 
It's honestly exhausting. 

I've never watched one of those cop shows or the ones where terrorists have taken over... I've seen some parts here and there but quickly feel exhausted just from watching these actors running, screaming, and crying all the time.

Do you think it's healthy for somebody to be watching a show like Game of Thrones that has so much blood, war, and x-rated content? Sure, it may be entertaining. That's what these producers and actors are here for. Why do you think they make so much cha-ching💸? I personally just think it's kind of crazy for people to be consuming content filled with so much reference to violence, death, and the other factors I mentioned.

3. I hate all the hidden messages! Let's face it. TV shows and movies can be/are so political. There are so many hidden messages and ways that producers and writers sneak in their world views on those who consume their content. Maybe I sound like an old fart, but I must say even Disney channel shows have turned to garbage. The old ones were 🥰 but the ones today are all about broken homes, parents too dumb for their own kids, and conformity with political movements which may or may not be a positive thing. Let's not even talk about the inappropriate add-ins. Watching some of these shows with my younger siblings... I get shocked. I don't even want to hear this stuff and this is what their young minds are consuming? 

I want to provide some alternatives for you guys.

1. Get rid of certain channels (or the TV entirely😛). I know y'all think I'm crazy. My parents got rid of our TV when I was in middle school LOL, and it was honestly great. I spent more time on other more valuable things, never had to deal with the struggle of trying to get myself away from the TV, and eventually became this person who doesn't care for it. 

2. Utilize Youtube and/or other forms of entertainment. I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching educational and personal development content (and creating it too here😝). I've probably read the equivalent of 100 books in the amount of content I've consumed about healthy living, personal growth, self-improvement, career development, psychology, science, marketing, business, etc. SO MUCH AMAZING CONTENT that is actually worth my time. Focus on that stuff. You deserve it. Give it to yourself. Allow yourself the time to be your best. And the great thing is that I can listen to them anywhere and anytime.
Books and audiobooks
Music
Making time for a hobby or a side gig
Sending more time with your family
Getting involved in your community
Actually relaxing your tired brain after work and just sitting and drinking tea or that glass of wine you treat yourself to every night. Turn on some relaxing music instead to wind down. Compare this to cop car sirens and explosions in your favorite shows 😅. Allow your brain to actually get a break.
Treating yourself to a nice long bath.
Getting more sleep. A big one! How many of you can say you are guilty of going to bed late because of a show/movie and not getting the recommended (and needed- studies show) 7.5-8 hours of sleep? Actually treat your body and mind to a real gift that it NEEDS- SLEEP!

Act now, thank me later 😉

3. Make a plan for yourself for what you will do instead of watching TV/movies regularly. What will you do on the weekends? ake other plans? Explore the city, watch a documentary, invite some friends over, go to a karaoke bar...
Preferably do this after step 1 🤓

Did I miss anything? What do you guys do to relax or unwind from the day that doesn't involve TV/movies?

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

3-Step Technique To Liberate Yourself From Anxiety And Fear

There are 3 steps to liberating yourself from your weaknesses and fears.

1️⃣ Realize what your weaknesses and fears are

2️⃣ Come to terms with them

3️⃣ Embrace them wholeheartedly

Yes, wholeheartedly. ❤️

Some might say, "well, why to embrace them rather than fight them off?"

Because: weaknesses and fears are NORMAL. We are meant to have them. Our role is to learn how to use them to propel us forward. 

We will never be %1000 fearless and I would hope not. I don't want you jumping out of a plane thousands of feet in the air or reaching for a hot stove without first thinking it through really well. I don't want you making a decision that will determine your future without being really sure it's right for you. 

(WATCH THE FULL YOUTUBE VIDEO HERE). 

Having that bit of anxiety is healthy. It's using it to our advantage that is the trick and the goal here. 

Having overcome chronic anxiety myself, there are three steps that allowed me to fully embrace my fears and weaknesses. It took me a lot of time to adopt this view of life. I needed to undergo certain experiences and used trial and error to perfect my outline of how to go about doing this in a way that wouldn't be too overwhelming for me. 

Okay, so let's get to it. 👍🏻

1. Realizing and understanding what your fears are, is itself extremely liberating. Define what exactly it is that makes you nervous, holds back from doing what needs to be done and from fulfilling your dreams, and makes you want to perhaps even change your entire direction in life. There was a time when I felt so overwhelmed with my dreams and the things I would have to do to achieve them (put myself out there, risk rejection and negative feedback, etc) that I thought that perhaps it wasn't worth it and I should start looking for something easier. 

NOOOO. I quickly came to the realization that I'd rather risk embarrassment doing what I dream of than staying in a safe haven (which isn't really all that safe because that turns into disappointment and resentment) and holding back from my true mission. 

Make it very clear and understandable for yourself what these things are. 

Write them down.

When starting something, go over this list. 

Which leads me to point two.

2. Accept that you feel this way. Yes, you are nervous people might think you're stupid or lame or a horrible singer or artist or whatever. AND THAT'S OKAY.  That's not your problem. Your problem is getting over this hump and you're freakin' doing it!! So your problem is solved. You will never control others' opinions and the things people say/do. And that's not your role or responsibility. Your responsibility is to yourself. 

Accept that this is the reality at the moment. 

Remember, the only way you overcome fear is by doing that which you're afraid of. 

The only way I got over my phobia of spiders (couldn't even look at drawings of them) was by exposing myself to them. At 11, I forced myself to go to sleepaway camp. My father, a psychiatrist who was even more desperate than (lol) for me to get over my phobia, would collect insects in empty jars and containers and leave them on our porch so I could use them for exposure therapy😂

Sooo... the best and really only thing you can do is just accept the fact that you experience these emotions and act on these dreams and goals anyway. Hell yeah💪🏼

3. Finally... give all those fears and anxiety-ridding dreams and the failures and the wins and losses that came with them A HUGE HUG. You are so many wonderful things, and it's amazing that you aren't perfect. Life would be boring if you were. People don't find true joy and pride in the things that come easily to them. These are your struggles and you're doing something about them. You are way ahead of the game. Think of all the people who took their dreams to the grave with them. Think of all those who looked back at their lives and wished they had the guts to do all the things they were too scared to do. In the end, we all die. The people whose opinions we fear will be dead. And if you screw up... no one will be alive to tell it anyway. 

That's how I like to think about it: if you become super successful, then great, you did it. If not and you feel embarrassed about it, don't worry because no one will remember you anyway right? Either way, you'll be okay. But you'd sure as hell rather take the chance and know you at least tried. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes