Making the Most of Our Why

Yesterday marked a year since I moved to NYC. Over the last several weeks I’ve had some encounters and experiences that have shed some light on this journey and the way it has all unfolded. 

I found myself on the UWS the other day doing an IV drip in an apartment looking out onto New Jersey. I realized I was right across the exact location where I used to sit in Jersey when I would come up north. I would sit between these huge pillars (I spotted that landmark) and just stare out at the city. I always felt drawn to it- that the city was where I belonged. It was always my happy place. When I decided to make this move, I looked out onto the city one last time and wondered how it would go. 

As I sat there looking back at that place- and looking back at myself- my client put on the Netflix documentary “Moses.” She started to talk about the Bible, G-d, faith, how Moses was chosen and didn’t even believe in himself, how he never got to see the Promised Land, how people experience pain, and what that means. Where does it take us? She told me that she felt G-d wasn’t present in her life the way He used to be. I told her I know exactly how that feels. I told her that I’m Jewish and that although I don’t have all the answers, I do believe that everything in life is a test that is meant to make us greater and that G-d wants a relationship with us. Everything we experience is a conversation with Him- the blessings and the challenges. Respond to them with prayer, reflection, and faith. I truly believe this because I see it in my life and I think if you think about it you’ll see that truth in your life as well.

I realized that every experience I had sitting by those pillars in Jersey has led me to this moment and every other moment when I have had these connections where I look back on my personal experiences which have allowed me this understanding. Just as someone had told me something the other week that I needed to hear and that they felt they were meant to tell me- this time I shared what someone else needed to hear and I was meant to be there to tell her. This year was about learning this lesson and here I was passing it on.

God constantly slowly shows us why He plans things out the way He does. Every experience we have is G-d communicating with us, and that understanding finally clicked for me. We just have to be open to that conversation. We have to involve ourselves. 

As I walked out the door, I felt the close of a chapter. This last chapter was about understanding WHY. Now that I know the why, this next chapter is about understanding HOW. How do I make the most of the why? 

How do you make the most of your why?

How to focus on your personal journey through life

 ✨Everyone is different (has different skills, strengths and weaknesses) and therefore have different paths. Don't compare yourself.

✨You are unique- you are the only person who has your life. Look at your strengths and weaknesses to better understand what your purpose might be.

✨Everyone has different challenges and obstacles so just because someone else has something that you don’t, it doesn’t mean that he or she is better than you. You may have different circumstances. Instead of asking "why not me," ask, "how can that be me too?"

✨Your life is about building yourself so build yourself to become the person you always wanted to be. In the meantime, try to build others up with you.

✨Learn from others- if someone has something you want (for example, a trait), work towards achieving it. Ask them for mentorship or advice. See what they might be doing right, and try to model that. You will actually find yourself appreciating this person, rather than feeling envy towards him or her.

✨Make a list of all the things you desire. Doing this will help you to stay focused. It will keep you going when things get tough. Additionally, write down WHY you want those things. Refer back to this list when you don't feel motivated or when you feel like giving up.

✨Make a list of things to do when you are bored, so that you never find yourself sitting around thinking about things that really don’t matter to you. the good thing about being busy is that you don't have time to waste on things that are unimportant. Focus on the things that keep you happy and productive. This list can include going for a walk, spending time with someone you love, reading a book on your reading list, researching that topic you wanted to the other day but didn't have a chance to explore, or tidying up your personal space.

What Do We Do In the Face of Evil?

Reading the Aryeh Kaplan Anthology. He touched on some points that are very relevant and got me thinking. This won’t resonate with everyone.

“People must learn how to use knowledge for the good. We have the knowledge to create great societies and make great technological strides, but don’t always have the moral strength to use them for good.”

But why doesn't God intervene?

“As long as He is hidden, we can strive toward Him, and attain the Godly. But we do this as a matter of free choice. If God were to reveal Himself, then people would no longer be able to exist as a free entity.”

What are we to do?

There are people who choose evil, and this is part of the human experience in this world. But you too have the choice to use your free will to choose between right or wrong.

Use your free will, and the blessings that come with that, for good. Choose the righteous path. Stand up against evil. Help others. Do kind deeds. Assist where and when you can. 

At the end of the day we will never be able to entirely eradicate evil or bring on perfect world peace… but we can choose for ourselves how to respond and what energy and values we want to create and share. We can bring more positivity, kindness and good into the world if we so choose. In big and small ways. On personal levels and broader areas of our lives. 

And that is the beauty, despite the times of darkness, of being human. We can choose, with our free will, right over wrong and good over evil. 

There Is No Room to Be Angry About the Struggle

 “As long as you are alive, you are going to experience struggle- and that is okay. Reward yourself for your victories and be honest about your failings. But there is no room to be angry about the struggle itself; that’s how it is meant to be.”

When I read this excerpt in “What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid” by Michal Oshman, who is the head of culture at TikTok Europe and former leadership expert at Facebook, I felt very impacted by it. 

Just like many others, anxiety has always been a majorly present factor in my life. In particular, I have always felt the need to control and understand everything. And if I couldn’t… fear and panic would take over. Over time, I learned to manage and cope. However, I couldn’t truly just let go of needing control over what and how things happen.

There have been several major “aha” moments in my life, and this was one of them. It was one of those moments where all of a sudden so many things made sense, and I couldn’t have come to this understanding and conclusion if not for all of the things that I experienced that I previously could not understand why I had to struggle through them. What a paradox! 

All of a sudden so many things I was constantly questioning their necessity and why they had to happen…. were actually exactly what I needed to come to learn this major lesson in my life that seems to be the key to my understanding it all. In a sense, the answers I have been seeking were hidden within the chaos and confusion itself.

I am even going to be so bold as to claim that the answers ARE the chaos and confusion. How?

Because they are exactly what we need and are meant to experience. Instead of questioning why we go through certain things, we should look at occurrences- both the good and the bad- as direction regarding where we can and need to grow in life… which is what life is all about- constantly evolving. 

What I need to learn and grow through are completely different from others, and vice versa. Which is another reason why comparison to others makes actual zero sense. 

💡The answers are within the questions themselves. You just have to get to that point where you can be a vessel to understand the truth. Meaning, you absolutely must work through the chaos to even be able to understand that which you desire to understand. I have always heard that “things are how they are meant to be” but it sounded so cliche to me. Even though I believe in G-d and that things happen for a reason and everyone has a purpose and particular mission…. I didn’t really internalize  and conceptualize what that meant…. until this moment. 

👉🏻 It’s true that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. For a very long time I had been trying to internalize this message and live by it, but I couldn’t. It didn’t really make sense to me though I felt like it should. But when you can internalize that things are as they are meant to be and so there is really no need to dread or fight the struggle, you can understand that if that is true…. then it only makes sense that everything really does happen for you and not to you because things are supposed to be that certain way (often times for reasons we won’t understand and that’s okay). If xyz are supposed to be part of your life, it’s good that they’re there. Which leads me to my next point. 

🗣 Everything in our lives is here to teach us a lesson, help us grow, and make us who we are supposed to be. I believe I have my particular strengths because I am meant to play a certain role and complete a particular mission in this world. So too for everyone else. 

It’s so simple and undeniably true. 

But not until you can get to the point of understanding it.

And the only way to get there is to work through your own personal struggles and fears and shortcomings (though it sometimes sucks 😢). 

Even when things seem to be complicated, they’re not. They’re simply what they are and we just need to understand that things are meant to be a certain way… and so they will be… and that’s okay. That’s part of our journey. 

Which also made me realize how much I’ve overcomplicated things, though then again I am only human after all 🤷🏻‍♀️. 

And if that’s the case, then the final conclusion is that we are to give up trying to have full control while focusing on what we can change, find the lessons within the struggles so as to learn and grow from them, and simply enjoy life for everything it is and isn’t meant to be. 

There’s nothing to argue or hate or be angry about. 

It quite simply is. 

And there is so much undeniable peace in that. 

———————————

I will conclude this by sharing the serenity prayer, with which I am absolutely obsessed: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

Turn Your Breakdown Into A Breakthrough

 I was talking to a friend the other day about the concept of choosing to allow things to build you instead of break you. 

Then today while listening to a class by Gedale Fenster, he expounded on the same concept in different words. He said, “allow your breakdown to become a breakthrough.”

I kept replaying those words in my head. How amazing it is that we can respond to things in one of two ways, and the choice is entirely up to us. 

I think about inspiring people who I follow or know personally, and how each one has his or her own challenges. Those people choose to allow their setbacks to make them stronger, and to make them even better at living out their personal mission and purpose. They use the pain to grow and propel them forward. 

Many times we look at difficulties and personal struggles as something negative and “bad.” But how do we know they really are?

Perhaps if we redefine the definition of “good” and “bad”, or even allow things to show themselves for what they truly are (by being open-minded and playing fair to the truths that are possible for us), then we can make the challenges into beautiful things. Whether it is a purpose, calling, passion, redirection, redefinition of values, and goals… 

There will often be forks in the road. 

Which way will you choose?

What Music Do You Need To Remember? (On Being Reinspired)

 The last several weeks have been quite intense. For the first time in the 8 months that I have been working as a registered nurse, I felt overwhelmed by the idea of going to work. Working as a new nurse in the midst of a global pandemic wasn't even the challenge. 

The last several weeks at work saw one of my patients having to be flown out to another hospital because her case was too complicated (blood leaking out into her lungs from her aorta), the first time having a patient have a stroke, my first time having a patient die on me, having to do CPR and postmortem care and several rapid responses...

For me, medicine has always been about my purpose, my mission, and my passion. I know I'm meant to be in this field and to eventually become a doctor. I love what I do and I'm so grateful I get to do it. 

But the other morning I couldn't see any of that. 

I felt overwhelmed with it all. And even though every nurse waits for her turn to face the inevitable of being in this field and knows that this is what we have chosen... facing people die, having to tell their loved ones, dealing with emergencies... it doesn't make it any easier. 

As I was driving to work that morning, feeling sad and dreading the next 14 hours.... listening to music... a specific song came on that changed everything for me. 

"You never know you crossed the line till you get to the other side... The only way out is to face it... cause no one ever taught us to hide... the hardest walls to fight are the ones we wage inside."

It took me back to my junior year of high school when I had just started at a new school and was having a hard time adjusting. It was a very challenging time in my life so much so that I did something I had never done before (being that I was way too studious and always concerned about doing well in school). 

I totally blanked while taking my chemistry exam. I literally looked at the exam that I had spent hours studying for and for some unknown reason absolutely nothing made any sense to me. I couldn't do simple math or understand simple instructions. It was like my brain shut off. 

I was so overwhelmed at that point that I even tried to turn in the exam right then and there, incomplete, and tell my teacher that I had to go home because I didn't feel well. He told me I could leave once I turned it in. I left school that day right after that class (which was my very first and it was only 7:45am) and spent the rest of the day incapable of doing anything but lying in my bed. I couldn't eat, study, get up, or talk to anyone.

The only thing that comforted me at that moment was this song. I spent hours listening to it. I have no idea why. 

I don't remember what I got on the test... but fast forward 3 years and I got an A in my college chemistry course which was on probation for failing too many students... and 7 years later I'm in a medical program attaining my doctorate in my dream profession. 

I hadn't listened to this song in a very long time, and it had come on so randomly and unexpectedly. I started to cry on my way to work (and it wasn't yet 7am). 

It reminded me of that challenge I had experienced and how horrible I felt at that time. It reminded me of everything I had been able to achieve despite it. It reminded me that I was where I was because I got through so many obstacles. It reminded me of how afraid I was and how I felt so stuck and incapable of succeeding. 

And yet there I was on my chosen trajectory. I was doing everything I had set out to do. And even though it was scary and HARD, I was doing it. 

I decided to see the positive in everything I had experienced in the previous weeks. How I officially felt like a real nurse. How much more confident I am because I've had to deal with these emergencies. How I feel like I can face anything now. How grateful my patients are and all the times I have people tell me they're proud of me or respect me for what I do and for helping their family members. How it is really cool to be part of a team of people who have the skillset to save others. 

At that moment I decided that I was going to have a great day. 

And I did. The first good day at work in a very long time. 

Lesson learned: remember the music. 

What is the music that you need to remember?

The World Is But A Reflection

I recently recalled an experience I had one day before Covid that taught me a lesson in an interesting way. I had come early to my school campus to get some work done. At some point during my studying I found myself looking out the window, spacing out and wondering if the whole doctorate path was worth it for me. At the time I really wasn’t so sure about it and kind of even felt it was becoming a burden of an expectation that I had on myself. 

I noticed that the building across the street constantly had a ton of people entering and leaving. From what I could see they were wearing suits and carrying suitcases, and so I figured it was probably the law school. I then started to think about how much it must suck to have to walk around in a suit all day and come in so early and deal with all those cases. They looked like robots, so ordered and timely and rigid. For a moment I visualized them sitting with a pile of papers at their desks or sitting in on a court case. I imagined how unhappy they all must be, thinking they are striving for what they THINK will make them happy (as if they had to be made happy) to be so willing to spend their time- their lives- in that way. (As if I knew what it was even all about... clearly I was making false assumptions and conclusions in my mind without any context whatsoever). 

As time went on I started to realize that I was only thinking that way because I was reflecting what I saw and making conclusions based off of my own feelings at that time. There I was also coming in early to do work, wearing scrubs, and spending my energy doing something challenging and HARD.

But then I realized that it didn’t have to be hard like that. Not if I enjoyed it and found it to be rewarding. If I was going to look at this choice the way I was, then it would just make me unhappy and everyone else around me according to me would also be unhappy. 

Many times what we see in others is what is going on in ourselves. I had heard of this idea before but never actually understood it.

Those people might love what they do and not even mind the suits, just as despite it being challenging I know today that I love what I do and am proud to wear scrubs (and one day a white coat 😊). I’ve come to find that purpose and passion in it for myself (those that started me on this journey in the first place), and the rewarding feeling being able to walk this path. It took me time to get to that point, and I knew that if I didn’t I’d have to make a switch real fast. It was like an epiphany that lasted 2 minutes but felt like an hour long.

Many times we don’t give our thoughts and feelings enough attention. We don’t sit with them and study them and ask why we think or feel something. And I actually think that being able to do just that can lead us towards our personal truth and path. 🔐 

WHY I Stopped Watching TV!!| Careful With What I Consume| Alternative Enterntainment

I don't even know how to use one 😂

I know, may sound pathetic and maybe even stupid.

But I have no FOMO when people are talking about their favorite shows and the "funny" or "cool" stuff they see on TV.

I wasn't ever really much of a "binger" anyway. Let alone even watching tv regularly. Last time I watched a series it was Game of Thrones and I honestly think that show scarred me🤣😕

Watcht the youtube video here.

Please don't think I'm looking down at those who love TV or who gain a lot from it. This is for those of you who need a healthy separation from TV/shows/movies (you know who you are) and/or just want to not want to watch TV and need some more inspiration/ideas to step back.

I also want to clarify that I do still watch TV and movies, though it is rare and I am very careful with what I consume. In general, I think it's a good idea to be selective when it comes to what you consume, whether it be food, content, and time with people. Everything effects your energy- protect it. 

Here are the reasons I stopped watching TV and why I am SO SO SO happy that I don't:

1. Why am I watching other people lead fake lives instead of living my own and making my own life my dream life? This thought always gnawed at me. It was in high school when I really stopped caring about tv shows. If I did watch any, it was on youtube and they were the old-school ones like Even Stevens and That's So Raven (still love them and I'm in my mid-twenties lol). They're funny, more relatable, not overwhelming or showing content that will make me feel like the world might come to an end, and are awesome throwbacks.

Also, I was just too busy (in a good way) getting my own stuff done.

Breaks? Consisted of reading, walking, hanging out with friends, working on my passions... LIVING LIFE!! I want to be out here making my dreams come true, working on myself, actually falling in love instead of watching two characters "cry for each other" for whatever made-up reason, making the money so that I can lead a happy lifestyle rather than watch characters on TV go shopping and talk about their (actually🤪) fake friends and over-the-top drama. 

And I am too good for it too. And so are you. We have so much potential and we spend how much time in front of a screen? Include your phone, laptop, etc.

2. What you watch has a real effect on you. This is a big one for me. Maybe because I'm sensitive to violence and other frightening things like war and gory images that even combat servicemen and women actually get PTSD from!! And I'm a nurse, people!! I've seen scary stuff but that's a whole other game!!

Point is: our subconscious is affected by seeing this stuff. The emotions we feel from watching other people die and/or suffer... our brain can't tell the difference between something we think about and something that actually happened (Joe Dispenza, check him out). Again, servicemembers suffer from PTSD and depression from seeing this stuff and we are choosing to watch it?!

Perhaps some people like the thrill, but this all affects me so much so that I still remember some scenes from movies I saw long ago that I wish I could forget. People murdering each other with their hands (so not normal and I just wrote that out like it was nothing), inappropriate content that should be special between two people but is being made into a choreographed dance of explicitness (you wouldn't want your family members up there doing that, but you're perfectly fine watching someone else's).

What are people taking away from these things?
Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, misunderstanding of what real connection between people actually is, all the dramatic world-coming-to-an-end catastrophic play. 
It's honestly exhausting. 

I've never watched one of those cop shows or the ones where terrorists have taken over... I've seen some parts here and there but quickly feel exhausted just from watching these actors running, screaming, and crying all the time.

Do you think it's healthy for somebody to be watching a show like Game of Thrones that has so much blood, war, and x-rated content? Sure, it may be entertaining. That's what these producers and actors are here for. Why do you think they make so much cha-ching💸? I personally just think it's kind of crazy for people to be consuming content filled with so much reference to violence, death, and the other factors I mentioned.

3. I hate all the hidden messages! Let's face it. TV shows and movies can be/are so political. There are so many hidden messages and ways that producers and writers sneak in their world views on those who consume their content. Maybe I sound like an old fart, but I must say even Disney channel shows have turned to garbage. The old ones were 🥰 but the ones today are all about broken homes, parents too dumb for their own kids, and conformity with political movements which may or may not be a positive thing. Let's not even talk about the inappropriate add-ins. Watching some of these shows with my younger siblings... I get shocked. I don't even want to hear this stuff and this is what their young minds are consuming? 

I want to provide some alternatives for you guys.

1. Get rid of certain channels (or the TV entirely😛). I know y'all think I'm crazy. My parents got rid of our TV when I was in middle school LOL, and it was honestly great. I spent more time on other more valuable things, never had to deal with the struggle of trying to get myself away from the TV, and eventually became this person who doesn't care for it. 

2. Utilize Youtube and/or other forms of entertainment. I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching educational and personal development content (and creating it too here😝). I've probably read the equivalent of 100 books in the amount of content I've consumed about healthy living, personal growth, self-improvement, career development, psychology, science, marketing, business, etc. SO MUCH AMAZING CONTENT that is actually worth my time. Focus on that stuff. You deserve it. Give it to yourself. Allow yourself the time to be your best. And the great thing is that I can listen to them anywhere and anytime.
Books and audiobooks
Music
Making time for a hobby or a side gig
Sending more time with your family
Getting involved in your community
Actually relaxing your tired brain after work and just sitting and drinking tea or that glass of wine you treat yourself to every night. Turn on some relaxing music instead to wind down. Compare this to cop car sirens and explosions in your favorite shows 😅. Allow your brain to actually get a break.
Treating yourself to a nice long bath.
Getting more sleep. A big one! How many of you can say you are guilty of going to bed late because of a show/movie and not getting the recommended (and needed- studies show) 7.5-8 hours of sleep? Actually treat your body and mind to a real gift that it NEEDS- SLEEP!

Act now, thank me later 😉

3. Make a plan for yourself for what you will do instead of watching TV/movies regularly. What will you do on the weekends? ake other plans? Explore the city, watch a documentary, invite some friends over, go to a karaoke bar...
Preferably do this after step 1 🤓

Did I miss anything? What do you guys do to relax or unwind from the day that doesn't involve TV/movies?

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

GUIDE: Exactly How To Generate Positive Vibes and Thoughts (Even When The Going Gets Rough)

OKAY PEOPLE!!

Everything good is coming our way! 

Gosh, what am I saying?🤔

Everything good is already HERE!🤙

That is, if you allow it to be. It depends entirely on you. 

I know you're probably thinking, "How so, Dev?"👀

Well, if your thoughts and beliefs create your reality... and since you control your thoughts and beliefs... this means that you have the power to generate whatever you want.

The KEY🗝 is to learn, therefore, how to control your thoughts and change your beliefs.

And you must. It's going to take time and some effort, but with persistent practice, you WILL get there. Heck, I'm still practicing (getting better every day☝🏻) and I've been doing this for a while.

Because guess what. 

If we are focusing on the negative, we will only attract more negative into our lives. 

Likewise, if we attract positive, then we will attract positive into our lives.

Like attracts like. 

Make sense? By the way, if you want to learn more, check out my downloadables on this exact topic! You can find them all here! And I'm adding more and more all the time! 

So here are my top pointers on how to generate positive vibes even when the going gets rough (because life requires the going gets rough and we are supposed to learn how to grow from these challenges). 

1. Do a meditation- Sometimes we get so caught up in the situation at hand, the feelings generated from an experience, past issues and the emotions attached to them, starting to come up... we just need to step back and realign ourselves with our mission and goals. Instead of resisting the thoughts, feelings, and reality at hand... allow them to flow through you.
• The best way to allow them to flow through you is to meditate. Stop what you're doing, close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, and just BREATHE. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and just allow yourself to relax. Focus on your breath and allow all negativity to show up as they desire, acknowledge them, and let them go. Don't try to fight them, just accept them as thoughts. 
2. Observe your thoughts- as I wrote above. When you simply step back and observe your thoughts and feelings, you cease owning them. We berate ourselves for thinking a certain way or acting our emotions that we try to suppress... but we can also choose to stop owning them and taking them personally. Just we think negative thoughts, it doesn't mean we are negative. We are human. Observe and let go. 
3. Listen to something positive- whether it be a song, a speaker, a video on something silly and funny. 
• When you focus your attention on those things, you align your energy with that energy. 
• Loosen up. Allow yourself to align with the energy you truly desire to live by. 
4. Journal- When you write down exactly how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way, you gain a LOT of clarity. 
• Clarity allows for understanding, which allows for an opening for something new to enter into our space (positivity please🙏🏻). 
• This also helps us to let go- to let off steam- which therefore allows us to feel more positive and accepting of something new.
5. Get up and get out- if you've been sitting for too long, focusing on one thing to no or little avail and are building up frustration... then you need to get up physically (yes do it even if you're lazy and/or a have a deadline because this will give you more time and energy in the long run) and step out of your current scene. Step outside, go on a walk, go for a drive around your neighborhood). Then come back and start again.

Let me know if these helped you at all 🐒 and share with a friend or two so that they can get some more positivity too🐸

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

To Stand and Watch The World

It really is such a magical thing to simply stand and watch the world. To see the mini interactions that occur in the flood of people running by. How two brothers embrace, a couple laughs genuinely, the sun setting slowly but somewhat purposefully over the backdrop.

It’s like a constant lull- a gentle flow that seems to sift through time.

I used to be so uncomfortable just standing and not doing anything. However, it’s exactly this act of doing nothing that could sometimes be the most impactful.

And with that thought in mind- Shabbat shalom 💙

Happiness Takes Work (And Usually So Does Everything Else)

I was talking to a friend earlier this week. For a while now, she has been feeling unmotivated and unhappy.

I make a constant effort to call her and talk about how things are going. I will also give her mini assignments like taking 5 minutes in the morning to write a list of things for which she feels grateful or sending me 3 positive quotes she finds online and to which she feels connected.

However, she doesn't always actually get these tasks done or take the time to call me back to work on these things together. She reassures me that she will get back to me, but simply doesn't.

I wrote to her the other day:

"Positivity doesn’t come easily for anyone. It’s something everyone has to work towards and if people don’t put in the effort to be positive... then they most probably won't be. Most of the time, we are naturally prone to being negative. Every day you have to make a conscious effort to think positively. We all do."

I realized that perhaps I needed to hear this message myself. And not for any particular reason.

We all oftentimes let ourselves go. Then we get to that moment (if we are being at least half honest with ourselves) when we realize that perhaps we aren't putting in the effort to feel the way we want to feel.

And this goes with everything in life.

Want to feel happy? Do something that actually makes you happy. Put your phone down and go on a walk or work on a personal project. Do something that excites you. Remember to be grateful for what you already have.

Want to not feel lonely? Make sure you are actually interacting with people and not secluding yourself. Make sure you are hanging around the right people.

Want to feel motivated and get things done? Start small. Just 5 minutes. Give yourself just 5 minutes and I guarantee you will most probably work for much longer.

Want to stop being negative? Catch yourself in the act of being negative and think the opposite (positive) thoughts. Make a list of positive affirmations and repeat them daily. Surround yourself with positive people and if that's not an option then imbue positivity into your life as much as you can. Be creative. Be a source of positivity for yourself and others.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you are putting in the honest effort.
You can change anything by just starting with you.
So get started.
Go.

The Power of Prayer

I usually write long blog posts about my experiences, but this is pretty straight to the point and the message is clear. 

I have been trying for months to recover a password to an old google account to which I really need to get access. Since I'm in Israel, my phone doesn’t receive access code messages or calls. In the classes I attend here we learn a lot about the power of prayer, yet I still tend to overlook it for some reason🙈.

Earlier today in class we went over the concept of the power of prayer again, and I decided that I would start to really pray for help getting into my account. At that moment I looked up and said, “G-d, please help me get into this account. It’s so important to me.”

I just tried to log on again and got directed to the recovery page. I put in my American number like I did every other time, and I got in🙌🏼.

Coincidence? I think not. 

Power of prayer, people. 

How you can allow time to be on your side

Today I would like to write about something that I have started taking extremely seriously. 

Time. 
Hours. Minutes, seconds. 

They all add up. Before we know it, time has forever slipped out of our hands and there is absolutely nothing that we can do to get it back. If anything, we can only learn and agree to use the rest of the time that we have left- to do more and be more than we were previously.

The good and the bad news is that time is finite. This is a good thing because it reminds us of the value of every moment. We aren’t just existing. We are creating realities in a measurable spectrum, in an immeasurable capacity. We have so much potential as human beings to create, imagine, and bring about change. 

It is extremely unfortunate that despite this immense potential that is existent within and by us people(yes, people create potential because we are the cause by which potential has come into existence because it is we who hold this potential)... so many of us allow it to slip away aimlessly. Or rather, we devalue our time by spending it and using it on means which have no value or purpose at all. 


Think about all the time that you spend and all of the activities on which you spend that time. What percentage of your time are you doing something that is actually benefitting you? How much time do you aimlessly spend on your phone or computer? It’s way too easy to lose something that is so valuable, to things (and sometimes even people) who have no value to us whatsoever. 

So how can you allow time to be on your side? 

By being conscious. By being aware. By caring about how you spend it! By taking small steps throughout your day to question if you are spending your time in a valuable manner. By saying no to certain things. By planning just how you are going to make sure that you not waste anymore time than you already have!!! (Will soon be making a blog post about how planning actually helps with reducing anxiety, though this may seem obvious to some). 

Try to become more conscious of how you spend your time and who you spend your time with. Make it a goal for yourself to be able to honestly say that every moment you spend is an investment to your short and long term happiness, success and worth. 

After all, time was given to us for free. The time we have now was not payed for. We didn’t have to fight for time on this earth. We didn’t have to work hard to be born. Perhaps what came after wasn’t all that easy, but you have time on this earth either way. So take it and do the best that you can with it. Take advantage of it. 

Investing in yourself is your greatest asset. Time is not on your side (but only if you don’t allow it to be).

The Purpose Factor

There comes a point in one's life when he or she realizes that the future is entirely in his or her hands. For me, this point was graduating from college and passing my nursing board exam (YAY!!!)

Up until this point in life, everything was protected by a cushion. You know, living at home and off of mom and dad. Some individuals choose to protect themselves with this cushion up until their late 20s, if not later. Others, like myself, have a desire to be independent. We appreciate the guidance and support given to us by our parents or whoever raised us, but we also understand that it's important to be able to stand on our own two feet. I personally feel privileged to be able to move upwards in life and have the opportunity to build my own life separate from everything else that I have always had.

This idea that I was pondering yesterday on my way home from work, had me thinking about something that someone said to me a very long time ago. This always stuck with me, and I laugh about it every so often.

I was about 6 or 7 years old, on the bus ride home from school. It was time for me to get off of the bus and so I started gathering my stuff and unbuckling my seatbelt. As I was doing so, the girl sitting next to me turned to me and asked, "Deb, did you know that I'm rich?"

Now, you may be wondering what this may have to do with growing up. Stick with me here.

I remember thinking to myself... first, what does it mean to be rich? Like, I genuinely did not know what it meant to be rich and why she was telling me this. I was so confused. I mean, I grew up very comfortable too, but I never had my parents telling me that we were rich or had it better than others. I was only about 6 years old anyway, so what 6-year-old goes around talking about being rich?

As I grew older and started encountering this "I'm rich" mentality, I began referring back to this initial exposure I had to such self-inflation and monetary obsession.

What really was interesting to me though was how young people my age were SO proud of their parents' wealth or high social standing. It was as if they themselves had some sort of influence on their parents' success too. These kids were walking around like they conquered the planet because their parents were successful. I always found that to be so frustrating. My parents are also successful and have always offered my siblings and me everything we needed (and most of the time what we wanted). However, there was a balance and there was exposure. We were taught that hard work was the cost. We always had nice things but knew that not everything had to be the most expensive or the most high-standard.

The other day as I was scrolling through my social media feed, I saw a photo that someone posted with her new Mercedez. I felt part of me looking at the photo wishfully, considering how nice it would be to have a Mercedez. However, as quickly as that thought entered my mind... I then became encapsulated by another idea and a different mindset that I would like to carry forward.

"What is the purpose?"

Not that we shouldn't buy nice things and share our excitement... I'm all for it! However, seeing someone else have something and THEN considering how happy you would be to have said thing... isn't that absurd?!

I all of a sudden realized the ridiculous notion of rich, expensive, high-end, call it what you want...

Because what is the purpose? And what is the value of all that?
How would having a Mercedez make me happier? Maybe it is more comfortable, but do I really need it to be happy? Is it really worth my time looking at it and considering how happy I could be with it?

And that takes me back to the beginning story of the "rich" girl.

I think that it is when we understand the value of all that we have and the price it takes for all of those things... when we truly realize what is actually important. At least in my case, thinking about being financially independent... sure I will splurge on nice things here and there. But when you have worked hard for what you have earned, you should putt all that hard work and effort towards things that will make you feel true happiness (I'm not actually telling you what you should do with your hard-earned money. You obviously decide. To each his own. However, perhaps consider this stance).

True happiness, I think, is living with purpose. When one has a purpose and lives according to the blueprint of that purpose, everything else seems to fall into place. Once I became aware of what truly mattered to me, I stopped looking at labels as much as I used to. I stopped looking at what other people had. I stopped caring so much about what I didn't have. I started realizing that I don't need certain things to achieve my purpose. And so, therefore, those objects are not needed for me to be truly happy. 

Furthermore, when you become independent, you start realizing that you have to supply the lifestyle that you want or once had. Just because your parents had the ability to do and buy all these things for you, doesn't necessarily mean that you will. It's time for you to step up, put in the hard work... and decide if all that stuff is really even that important. I certainly plan to continue the quality of life that I have always been blessed to have, but this is a whole different chapter. I think it's rather exciting to see how my opinions on these matters might change.

I am fully aware that not everyone thinks this way. Heck, many people make money just to spend it on more material things. However, I think this mentality that I just shared is important to consider.

From now on, I have decided to ask myself this question whenever getting enchanted by an object or idea.

Does this align with my purpose? Does this align with my blueprint? Will it help these factors in any way?

If the answer is no, turn away from those things and find what does align with your purpose and your blueprint. You will end up happier (truly happier) in the long run.

Stick to Your Principles

If there is anything that I have learned through much trial and error, then it would have to be this.

With so many things in life, sometimes it is hard to say no, remind ourselves why we should or shouldn't do something, or simply just do the right thing. Whether it is turning something down, getting ourselves to do something we know we should, or just going about doing everyday things... most of the time we know what we should do and the consequences of not doing that said thing.

I am finally coming to learn and live by the idea of sticking to my principles.

What does it mean to stick to one's principles?

When I think about sticking to my principles, I think of:

• Knowing right from wrong (my personal rights and wrongs)- may not be the same for everyone and it doesn't need to be. 
• Being consistent- not wavering between something being okay and not being okay. I make something acceptable or unacceptable and keep those things under those categories. 
• Being disciplined!!!!- This is a big one and something I am learning to do every single day. We all are if we are conscious of it. I just started reading Brian Tracy's No Excuses! and am already almost halfway through. I am mesmerized by this book. It has opened my eyes to so many truths, that I have already started applying its ideas. 
• Being able to turn down an offer- even when people are trying to do something nice, it may not be necessarily what is good for you. It is not necessary to please everyone. You have to do what is right for you. 
• Not falling into peer pressure- other people can do what they want and that does not mean it's what you need to want or should want. It's okay to want and seek something different. 

I've learned that sticking to my principles is what will allow me to reach my goals and desires.
I have also realized that I feel better about myself and more confident overall when I remain true to myself and my values. This means that if something is not worth my time or energy, and does not make me feel good... then I will not invest myself in it.

We all have a gut feeling when thinking about decisions. Although some decisions are harder than others, most of the time we know what the decision should be. Listening to our gut feelings and trusting ourselves is one of the smartest things that we can do.

These are all concepts I am learning from this book, videos, and podcasts that I am spending my time reading and listening to. I feel as though this is a whole other way of understanding myself and the world around me. Everything becomes so much easier and clearer when we stick to our truths.

This is a major idea that I have learned and have begun applying to my life, and I will write about other concepts I admire as I continue to learn about them.