She feels a lot of anxiety from school.
Not the usual "I have a ton of work to get done" anxiety. Rather, her anxiety stems from the kids in her school.
She is one of the most mature and nicest people I have ever met. However, school really gets to her and affects her negatively.
A little more background about my friend and her situation:
She HATES the school environment. She has been counting down the days to graduation since freshman year. There are certain groups of kids that make fun of her and, although she stands up for herself, as she should, they have been continuing their bullying for the past several years. Two teachers specifically give her a difficult time, telling her inappropriate things such as, "If you are this lazy, how do you get things done outside of school?" and, "Are you stupid?" She has tried to hold in her frustration before, but it only results in it becoming expressed later on and that's not any better of an outcome.
Although many of you may not have this specific type of situation, you may be facing something that causes you to feel bad about yourself or just generally unhappy.
When she told me about her situation, I proposed several ways to think about the situation and steps that she could take to improve her circumstance and her outlook on the situation:
- Breathe. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONS TO OVERCOME YOU- The second I saw her today, I could tell that she was upset. She began to tell me that she was fed up with how she was being treated (fairly so). Her entire body language expressed frustration. It seemed as if she was about to lose her mind. Other people began to watch her and it seemed to me that she didn't notice that.
- NEVER GIVE PEOPLE A REASON\OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOU A VICTIM AND NEVER MAKE YOURSELF A VICTIM- Obviously, if you need to stand up for yourself or what you believe in, do that. I am referring to the kind of situation where a person acts out of the norm. It is OK to show that you're upset, but CONTAIN YOURSELF!!!
- Other people may judge you based on your demeanor at the moment. Don't give them a reason to judge you or laugh at you. Compose yourself.
- Learn to adapt to your current environment. You don't need to do what everyone else is doing or be how everyone else is- just be "normal." I can say that I very different than most of the kids in my current school just because I have only been there for 2 years and was raised differently than a lot of the other kids. So, I just act neutral. I'm not totally this or totally that- I'm just normal.
- You may read this and think, "normal? Why should I conform just to not have to go through difficulties?" What I am saying, though, is that it is important to know how to act in different settings.
- You act differently when you are at school and when you are at home, when you are with friends and when you are with family. There are different expectations on how to act in different situations.
- It is scientifically true that wiser people are better at containing their emotions. This makes sense. When people think of a wise person, they think of a calm, composed, put-together individual. Be wise.
- Stop thinking negative thoughts, because they show on your exterior- She hates the school scene and the people in it. I told her to stop thinking about hate, aggravation, misunderstanding and how she could be spending her time more productively. Constantly having a negative state of mind will always result in you feeling unhappy.
- Think about making the best of the situation. Make the best of the situation by thinking positive thoughts and continuing to be a nice person.
- It is psychologically true that if you act as the person you want to be, then you will simultaneously become that person.
- It is also psychologically true that feigning confidence eventually results in true confidence.
- CHANNEL YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE- I told my friend to take all of her frustration out on being better! I told her to work on her organization, write poetry, or just improve herself as a person.
- The people who hurt you will not be affected by you going crazy. They will not be affected by you getting depressed or whatever else happens to you. YOU and those whom you love will be affected. So if you decide to react to the situation in a negative manner, you will receive negative feedback.