Extroverts
Introverts
Omniverts
Extroverts extract energy from being with others, introverts enjoy spending time by themselves, and omniverts have characteristics of both extroverts and introverts.
Ever since I was a kid, I was known for being quiet. Up until early high school, I was a major introvert-I would spend more time with myself than other people. My introverted nature, however, had always been associated with shyness and anxiety. People would always label me as being "shy." I came to hate my quiet nature, and, starting in my later years of elementary school, began working towards being more social.
By my junior year of high school, I became the type of person who felt more interested in meeting people and making plans with friends rather than staying at home reading and listening to music the way I used to. I became an extrovert. I constantly felt the desire to be surrounded by people.
I noticed many changes within myself when I became more interested in meeting and talking to people than taking time to observe and quietly think to myself as I did when I was an introvert.
Everybody may have different experiences when switching from "thinker mode" to "social mode", or from quiet to talkative, but these are my observations from my experience:
- First, I stopped thinking as much as I used to. Introverts are thinkers. Introverts are so quiet and to themselves, because they prefer to think rather than to talk. HOWEVER, thinking as much as some introverts (like me) think, can turn into a very negative habit that can cause many difficulties. I would think so much about other people and what they would say, how they would say it, trying to figure out why they said it and what it really meant- I would eventually draw conclusions and often, because of my sensitivity and negative expectations, they were negative. Spending more time talking to other people kept me from thinking excessively.
- Second, and as a result of my first point, I became a lot more relaxed. I was not as anxious when around other people. This, of course, was positive.
- Third, because I wasn't thinking as much about my and other's demeanors, I started acting more like the people around me. I started acting the way that I used to be sensitive to when others acted that way towards me. This was both good and bad. This was good because I was finally letting go of all of my restrictive thoughts and just living . . . but this was exactly what I felt was bad . . . thinking caused me to live a life of improvement, understanding, wisdom, and knowledge. Although my excessive thinking prevented me from just . . . well . . . being, and gave me negative thoughts, it is also the reason I notice and understand things about the world and people that others don't normally understand.
I thought that I had those two options: I either go about my life as an uptight thinker or I become a regular socialite, going through life and people and events and moments . . . moments that could be deciphered and thought about deeply . . . and learned from.
Well, there is another option. I didn't know that it was possible . . . until I became it. I could be a omnivert. I can think deeply and study people and study the puzzles of everyday life, making sure not to miss a moment, thought, or feeling . . . and I can talk to people and be relaxed. Let me tell you, it's the best way to be.
When talking to people, I think. I think about all of the things that I would be thinking were I to be alone. HOWEVER, thinking and socializing can be done only when one is fully comfortable. It was good for me to go from being an introvert to an extrovert. I learned the importance of being both and eventually was able to merge the positive aspects of both mindsets. I knew how to think and decipher ideas . . . and I learned how to socialize . . . merging both produces a deep social person . . . something very rare. Many very social people are interested in fitting in and aging the right thing, etc. Be the person who can think for him\herself, the person who can have a meaningful conversation as well as a lightweight chat. Life is so much more enjoyable. Take the time to listen to what others have to say, even if you are not interested or initially think of it as a waste of time. Every person is an experience. Every person, conversation and meeting can be a door to something new.
Introverts, let me tell you, there is just as much to learn from people as there is to learn from yourself and your own thoughts. Every person is like a book . . . each has its own story. I have learned so much from other "thoughtfuls" (and even regular socialites) and now enjoy social interaction just as much as I enjoy sometimes being alone.
- Be open-minded
- Leave your comfort zone- don't be afraid to try new ways of life and thinking
- View every person as special and an opportunity to be learned from: When I was overcoming shyness, I made myself talk to people in different social settings. If the other person doesn't show an interest, it's OK!! this is your story and others are characters. You lead the story. Just try again and remember that you are doing this for yourself.
- Have a genuine interest in people- ask questions (people love talking about themselves as we all know) and give sincere opinions.
- Strike up interesting conversations- ones that you and the other person may like. If they show no interest, that's ok too! Just let it flow. Don't plan it-just let it be. Whether it fails or flourishes won't make or break you. By the way, some people never come around. As in, some people will not be interested in conversing with you. That's OK, though, because you can and will find people like you.
You can get the best of both worlds. The happy medium exists, and you can have it. Finding my way to the happy medium was a journey, one from which I learned a lot, and is the reason I can write this post and many of my other posts.
Just don't forget: Each stage is an experience, and they all produce a journey.
Good luck upon yours.