Lesson Learned-Having Patience

I am not the most patient of people. 

And when I say that I am not very patient, I mean . . . sometimes I think that I could really use a patience\ relaxation mentor.

My brother asked me if he could have half of my pinini. I agreed to the terms and conditions of splitting food (we all have those) through clenched teeth, while continuously reminding myself that I shouldn't stress over something so trivial. 

I have a fridge at home. I have eaten many pininis before and will probably eat a couple hundred more before the end of my life. That is fine, I thought to myself, I will just enjoy the other half. It's not like I can ever really eat the whole thing anyway. 

About an hour later I ran upstairs with excitement to eat my sandwich, only to find out that my dad ate the other half. I was . . . upset. 

These situations are so typical. I wait for something, realize it's not happening, and then get angry at the person (or even thing) that holds me back from what I had been waiting for. Although I feel guilty for being selfish and getting so upset about something so trifling, I continue to be annoyed. 

Fast forward to right now.
I actually didn't originally plan to discuss another one of my "impatient" moments as I did above (though they happen all the time, so how could I not?) I was going to write about my lesson learned. 

Let's rewind to two weeks ago: my younger siblings' adorable friends are over. I am sitting in my room, door locked, trying to get some work done. I had been frustrated all weekend, trying to finish homework while having six or so kids running around and yelling outside my door. I just wanted some quiet and to be left alone so that I could focus. 

I heard a knock on my door, the last of what had been an entire weekend of knocks on my door, and quickly jumped to the conclusion that someone would ask me to do something or go somewhere. I replied with my what-could-it-be-now, "what?"

I open the door to find two of the little girls looking up at me. "We want to say goodbye,"the older girl said.

My heart melted. I had been dealing with the whole patience problem, and was trying to be more understanding and less selfish by not complaining and kvetching when not having everything my way all the time. 

I realized that I sometimes get so preoccupied in my business, I ignore everybody else. I didn't even take the chance to consider that maybe my door was knocked because somebody got hurt or because somebody was being sweet (such as in this case). Even if those weren't the cases, I should still answer the door like a normal human being and do what is asked of me, or at least try to help to the best of my ability. 

As always, I take things so much further and come to so many conclusions from just one subject matter.
At that moment, I accepted so many things that I had been conflicted with:

-Being patient, lest I miss out on so much beauty. Share, be kind, be slow to temper.
-Taking the time to see the positive side of the matter.
-Not jumping to conclusions.

Later on I realized other important truths:

-Being impatient in life is exhausting. I don't prefer to be the "go with the flow" type of person because
 I believe that one should take the reigns of his or her life, but it is obviously better to be calm rather 
 than constantly on the brinks of overflowing frustration.  
-If I am constantly focusing on the negative and jumping at opportunities to get annoyed, then I will
 never enjoy the great people and things that I have in my life. There is bad, but there is even more 
 good. 

And now, just a second ago, my little sister accidentally walked into my door (scaring me) and opened my door without even knocking. My initial thoughts were, who is that? Why did they have to walk into my door? Here we go again! 
But then I quickly retraced my thoughts to remembering patience and my lesson learned, and was kind rather than cold when she told me she had just wanted to return my earrings and thank me for letting her borrow them.

Everything is just a pattern, I guess. We just need to notice them and learn from them.

Thanks for reading my story.