(How To) Stop Stealing Time From Yourself!

Time is of the essence. 

I have been thinking a lot about this lately. 

With making a decision between medical school and Physician Assisting, and with trying to balance building BetterMe and doing well in school, I many times come to ponder about what is most important to me. 

I fear that time will fly by and that before I know it, I will be stuck with a feeling of loss because I had "missed my opportunity" and the right time to do what I needed to do in order to reach my goals. 

I NEVER want to one day look back on my life and feel that I did not take a chance I should have taken or that I did not use my time wisely. This is one of my biggest fears. 

I used to often say things like, "Oh my goodness, how did the week go by so quickly?!" Or the month. I CAN'T be the only one who says the year.

It was recently that I realized that I need to stop doing this. 

I lived the week. Remember how you stayed up late studying for that bio exam? Remember how awesome the weekend was when you got to hang out with all of your friends and didn't have to work all of Saturday?

I lived the month. My first month of college, I met so many new people. I started living in a new town. I started a new life, in a sense. Everything was so different. Everything IS different. 

In a sense, I felt like I was stealing these memories from myself because I was acting like they didn't happen. Like I was disregarding them. 

It was about three weeks ago when I last asked myself out loud how the month had passed by so quickly. I stopped myself.  I just stood in front of my calendar (making the moment a little too dramatic, though it was dramatic nonetheless), and thought about how much it really sucks to diminish the wonderfulness (yes, I am making up a word here because I want to!!!!) of the past month. Yes, there was a lot of studying involved, but I just freaking love college. I love living with my friends and meeting nice people and having the freedom to make decisions for myself all the time! 

By questioning where the month had gone, I felt like I was taking that time and the memories away form myself, as if they had never happened, as if I had never experienced them, as if I didn't live through the month. 

So, I stood there for another five minute and looked through each week and said to myself out loud, "I remember meeting this friend on this day and feeling so happy that I had made a new friend. I remember how we hung out and how happy I was with that day." I moved on to a few other days, reminding myself of what I did and how good it was. I looked over the month, summarizing its events in my head. 

From that moment on, I decided to stop saying things like, "how did the month pass by?" or "where did the week go?" or "I can't even remember what happened on Monday."

Then I made this picture: 

I have been thinking with this mindset now for three weeks and I feel like I'm living a fuller life. I know this sounds strange. Fuller life? Because of this small insignificant idea? 

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Let me tell you how I have changed (maybe you will try it out and see what I mean):

(note: I naturally do these things. They may not work for everybody. Even if you don't think these would be things that yo would be interested I trying, I still recommend giving them try. You never know what may make a change in your life. Sometimes its good to try out new ways of thinking and finding what works best for you). 

• Three days before starting my senior year of high school, I sat on the phone for about two hours talking with my best friend. We discussed the previous school year and how the next school year would pass by quickly, and how we would have to enjoy our last year of being in school together. I realized that I have to take every moment into consideration. I need to appreciate and be mindful of every soon-to-be memory, every I-will-look-back-at-this-one-day-and-feel-nostalgic type of moment. Try to think about where you are in time. I like to do this because I become conscious of who exactly I am at a specific time of my life. I am becoming aware of the moment. Just the other day, as I was sitting in the library at 1:00 am studying, I looked up from my textbook and spaced out for a second. I then noticed my friend sitting a few tables down from me. As I looked at her, I thought to myself how interesting it is that we had known each other for 7 years prior to living in the same college dorm. Even though I would see her almost every weekend at prayer services, I had never spoken to her. Ever. And now we are friends in college and next time when we go to  services, we will actually sit next to each other for the first time ever. Time changes things. It's interesting. Notice how time changes certain aspects of your life. Take note of them. 
• I literally did when I pulled out my handy dandy notebook (a composition notebook that I carry around). Whenever I feel like writing (when I'm deep in thought or have an idea, or feel anxiety creeping up on me), I just pull it out. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. I write because I know I need to. I highly recommend carrying around a notebook in which you can write your thoughts. Be cognizant of where you are (place and time), and write about whatever it is you're feeling. Allow your time to stop for a moment, giving yourself an opportunity to take in the moment, and to appreciate it. I wrote about how crazy it is that this girl and I are now friends. Behind her, I could see my dorm building through the window. I wrote about how crazy it is that I now live across the library. I went from never going to the library (because the one in my town is creepy and smells) and living in the quiet suburb where one sees trees when looking out the window, to living across the library and right next door to the gym. Now when I look out my window, I see busses, cars, and people passing by. Life changes so much. I want to remember these defining moments because they are what make up our stories. I want to make sure to really live these moments, making sure that I realize in the moment how much I appreciate them, so that I won't one day look back and feel like I never actually noticed what I had. 
• I love to think. I am always thinking about how much my life and I are changing. Although this gets annoying at times because I just want to live in the moment, I realized (after taking time off from doing this and testing out what it's like to not think so much) that it helps me pull my life together. What I mean by this: By thinking about how my life has changed in the past couple of weeks, there is a smooth flow from high school to college. Like I said before, this allows me to pull together my life's defining moments (the change, the new people in my life, my personal success. And like I said before, I won't one day look back and question how I got to where I am or "where the time went?" because I am making myself aware of it beforehand. Do the thinking in moderation though. LIVE LIFE IN THE MOMENT. Stop constant planning ahead and dwelling on the past. You are living now. Today. Take a little bit of time out of your day to think. Try before you go to sleep, or when you get back home from school.
• The last thing that I try to do ALWAYS, is to just simply make the best out of every moment. When you get upset about something, think to yourself, "I can be upset because it is important to care, but don't forget to remember all of the good things that are going on." Despite the negative, there is still positive. Try not to waste your time dwelling. Live the moment to its fullest-at least as much as you can. 

So there you go! 

• Think about where you are in time
• Take note of things that are changing in your life. Be cognizant of the effect that time has had on your life and who you are today as opposed to who you were before 
• Take in the moment by noting it to yourself or writing it down in a journal. Journals help with many things, such as relieving anxiety and stress, getting yourself to stop dwelling on something (upset about your bad test grade? Write about it. Move on), and jotting down ideas (when I think of a blog post idea, I start writing the beginning of the post so that I can conserve some of the inspiration that I feel at that moment so that I can continue the post when I have time to finish writing it). 
• Think (in moderation please)!
• Live in the moment!
• Stop dwelling on the past and constantly thinking about the future. Everything in moderation!
• Make the best out of every moment. 

And one more picture!

2 Quick Fixes to Anxiety

Are you in a situation where your anxiety is getting in the way of your having a good time?

Do you just want to get rid of your anxiety quickly- just know what to do right now to get rid of the heartrending feeling?

Well, I have some quick fixes for ya'll.
These work every time.

Whenever I start to feel anxiety creeping up on me, I wip out these two tools.

When you pretend like it's not there, it's like it really isn't.

Ignore it. Block out the negative thoughts. Do the most kung fu pow move you have been saving up for serious business shit.

When we are not focusing on the fact that we're anxious or feel pressure, we don't feed our anxiety, so we are not affected by the anxiety that could possibly be affecting us because we are not thinking about it.

Seriously, just turn off the negative thoughts. Just don't think about them.
And if you find yourself having a hard time blocking these thoughts out, then just keep blocking them out and think positive.

Think about something happy, something exciting.

Imagine getting a good grade on your upcoming exam. Think about how much fun you're going to have at an upcoming event. Think about something you're excited for. Just think about good, happy things.

And if the negative thoughts keep coming (cuz some of us are just so stubborn, we can't back down even against ourselves), then just keep thinking about the positive.

Don't get annoyed at yourself. Don't get angry about the fact you can't get rid of the negative thoughts, and most definitely do not allow yourself to become stiff.

           Just relax, take a breather, and keep accepting the positive and ignoring the negative.

Bottom line- ignore it. Cuz when you're not thinking about it, you can't be affected by it. 

The way you perceive yourself is the way you act.

This technique is so wonderful and helpful!! I just figured it out!

Sometimes when I feel anxious around certain people or a lot of people, I think to myself that everybody likes me.
I tell myself and make myself believe that I'm accepted by and get along with everybody.

When you tell yourself something, you start to believe it. Psychological fact.

Also, when you act like everybody likes you (not cocky, just confident), then people view you as somebody who is liked by others.

When you act shy, timid, and like a victim, people are more likely to treat you like a shy, timid, sensitive person. Or, they take advantage of your weakness and try to put you in their positions of feeling low. Remember when you would get your feelings hurt by somebody in school and your parents would say that they put you down to lift themselves up. Well, it's true. Think about it: why would somebody who is happy with themselves and confident, want to to put somebody else down? They wouldn't.

Whenever I start thinking about how I don't have so many good friends amongst a certain group of people, or that a certain group of people don't "like" me enough for me to feel comfortable around them- I tell myself that I'm friendly and nice, and that everybody appreciates my presence.

Now, of course, I also make sure that I'm not actually acting annoying and stuck up (in an attempt to cover up my anxiety).
I just act nice and talk when I have something to say (and if I don't have anything to say or to add to the current conversation, then I just wait for something that I can contribute to).

        Do not make yourself a victim. 
        Do not allow your anxiety to make you perceive that everybody dislikes you, or that you  
        don't belong. 

It would happen to me all the time that my anxiety would result in me legitimately believing that people did not like me and that people were staring\talking about me.  I was so affected by my anxiety, that the pressure would add up and result in me breaking down or acting stiff. As a result, I couldn't socialize or even act normal. It took time for me to get myself out of this mindset and to not allow my anxiety to overcome my common sense.

So, in conclusion:
Ignore it. Think positive.
Perceive yourself positively and you will reflect that positivity and confidence off to others.

The Secret to Getting Rid of Fear (and why you need to get rid of it NOW)

This is a quick post- something that I thought about the other day. I was thinking about my music and what I want to do with it.
However, every time I imagine myself performing in front of people, I get nervous and feel like there is no possible way that I will be able to overcome my fear of performing in front of a crowd.

Being that I was in the middle of studying and couldn't write a blog post right away, I wrote myself a little side note:

"Never be afraid
Just have confidence
Because when you screw up, nobody will know what you really have
Nobody will care"

I realized that if I don't just force myself to ignore my fear (I will post tips for this below) and won't act with confidence, I will never get anywhere with my music. Psht, I will never get anything done that makes me intimidated in the slightest bit.

If I don't have confidence when singing (or doing anything- apply this to your situation), then my voice will not come off as very strong and the quality of my music won't be all that great. Nobody will ever know what I'm actually capable of. I will never be able to give them my best. My real ability will go to waste because nobody will know about it BECAUSE I was too nervous while singing. And in the end, nobody will care because nobody will KNOW.

I don't want my possible success to be cut short because of fear.

I often think about the quote. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself"- Franklin Roosevelt

It is so true.
Unless of course, one is afraid of jumping off of a building or is afraid of petting a bear- that kind of fear is obviously good. Everything in moderation. I'm referring to the kind of fear that holds us back from achieving our dreams and from taking constructive risks, because in those cases we are missing out and possibly even losing great opportunities.

So I am telling you to ignore your fear that is holding you back from socializing, from joining that club, or from following your dream- because in the end either you go after it or you don't- and the outcome will affect nobody but you. Nobody will ever know.

And one or two or several failures will not stop you from being successful.
There have been so many times that success stories were first failure stories. Starbucks was denied from banks like 200 something times, J.K Rowling was turned down by multiple publishing companies before Harry Potter was even just considered, Usher turned down Justing Bieber's offer to sing for him the first time Justin met Usher, etc.

How to stop being afraid:
Ignore the negative thoughts, Just stop thinking them. This takes time and practice and determination and perseverance and will sometimes drive you crazy but you DONT. GIVE. UP!!!! (Meet the Robinsons reference!!)

Every time a negative thought starts creapin' up on you, you do your kung-fu-slash move on that crap (false language included for seriousness purposes) and move on with your life. Seriously though, sing a song or say a prayer or whatever and move on with your shit.

And that's it.

You just get rid of the negative thoughts and focus on what you need to do. Pretty soon, the negative thoughts go away . . . and without negative thoughts, we get good shit done.

So good luck with all of that and don't forget that at the end of the day- either it happens or it doesn't. It's your life- take it into your own hands.
Good luck!

Enjoying the Journey

Well, I am here now. I have officially reached my desired destination. 

I am the person I had dreamed of being ever since I started on my journey to overcome social anxiety. Like, this is literally my dreams being a reality. 

I have been thinking about this success ever since the end of my senior year of high school. 
Transferring to public school itself was a huge step itself because it signified my ability to be near a lot of people, especially a lot of new people, and to make friends in new environments- not to mention, reintroducing myself to people I had known before (almost like I had known them in another life of mine- that was how much things had changed . . . how much I had changed). 

I had been thinking to myself, "Wow, I did it. I remember thinking about this transition state of my life and how it would be and where I would end up…now I'm here." 

Also, I had been thinking about the next couple of months, during which I would get to college and start a new chapter of my life. When I first started on my journey of self-improvement (which never really ends, I guess), I had made a list of all of the characteristics I had wanted to attain. I had taken the image of my future-desired-self that was planted in my brain and put those aspirations into words. I envisioned myself being that desired person by the time I would graduate from high school. 

At that time, at 14 years old or so, I had no idea what would happen over the next couple of years. I know that sounds dramatic, but I was in-between two worlds and states of mind at that period of my life. I knew how I wanted to be but wasn't sure if or how I would get there. I wasn't completely sure where it would take me. I had been on and off between the possibility of going to public school or staying in my small private school. My decision would drastically change my life, I knew, being that I was utterly petrified of the idea of begin around a lot of people. I was scared going to even just a small private school where I knew everybody… going to a huge school with different types of people would have raised my anxiety to the roof and back until the pressure would make me crumble into a crying mess. 

So, graduation from high school came and ever since then my life has been sort of like a movie that only I can understand. People from all of the scenes of my different stages of life are in my life now. Before now, I would get so excited and nervous when I would see someone from my public school life and private school life- just because those two worlds of mine represented different stages and I was in the middle of them. A defining moment had been my graduation. Not only was this a graduation from my high school career, but also a ceremony for the completion of this major feat I had set upon long ago. My private school friends had come to congratulate me, while the scene of my public school life and the kids I had known stood behind me, signifying the colliding of my two worlds and the official becoming of my being (I know that sounds weird, but that's how I view it). 

What does this have to do with the topic of this post? 

I was sitting in a quiet room yesterday, studying Biology. I began thinking about my current life, and at that moment, I was the happiest I had ever been. I was happy with my relationships, with my school life, my looks, my personality… I was happy with who and how I was. 

I feel this happiness very strongly. I think its the best happiness there is and I encourage you (the few who would actually read this) to give it to yourselves. Attain your goals and work against your challenges. 
Are you happy with who you are now? Hopefully. If not, then make the necessary changes. 

Back to the point . . .
I am so satisfied with how everything turned out- the good and the bad- because they all guided me to becoming who I am today . . . however, that chapter of my life is over.

I think, despite the fact that those times were difficult and sometimes scary, the satisfaction from overcoming my fears and the excitement of dreaming about them realizing was worth it despite all of the negative aspects that came along with them. 

Even though there is still room to grow and improve, working towards such a big goal for such a long period of time ( throughout some of the most important years of my life) has left me constantly thinking about where I stand in the spectrum of my plan for my life. So when I realized that I was getting to the point where this part of my life would be over, and now that I have finally reached that part of my life, I  look back and reflect. 

I realize that the journey is one of the best parts. I am here now, successful and happy, and I got to this stage because of all of the steps I took. Those steps gave me some of my best memories and I now look back and rethink them. 

It is cool putting the pieces of my life together- the different scenes and characters that played important roles in this production.

We are always looking towards the future, always focused on getting things done and getting what we want. We forget to live in the moment. 

I am now in college and am constantly thinking about studying and doing well on a future exam . . . and then the pattern repeats and I am once again studying and thinking about another exam. I have to remind myself that I am a college student, 18 years old, young and strong. I need to enjoy my last years being a teenager. I need to live in the moment as a teenager and not just as a student. Although I have goals and important things to get done, I am also supposed to enjoy my life and not get consumed by the system that young people must follow these days- work and study, which ultimately lead to stress. 

From all of these years of dreaming of what I now have and am . . . I have learned to enjoy the journey and not only plan for the destination. The journey is all about overcoming challenges, designing ourselves, meeting people who make us happy, building on our relationships, and, most importantly, BEING happy and not just attaining happiness. 

If there is one lesson I could tell somebody, it would be to BE HAPPY and NOT JUST ATTAIN IT because THE JOURNEY IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS THE DESTINATION. Don't be one of those people who learn this truth too late- and enjoy the journey. 

The Blessing of Nostalgia and How I "Time Travel"

This is for all you children-going-onto-adulthood out there.

We all sometimes wish that we could just go back in time.

Whether you miss your childhood, two years ago, or the beginning of summer vacation when you felt free of all the burdens of schoolwork- nostalgia could be difficult to cope with.

Now that I am an 18-year-old who has just graduated high school and whose perspective on life is shifting from a child looking up to adults, to an adult looking down at children, I tend to think a lot about my "childhood" days and sometimes miss them because of all of the new responsibilities that are coming my way.

I was just at my aunt's house. I was sitting alongside my cousins and siblings, remembering how we used to rock on the swings by the pool and plan how we would all live on the same street in the future. Now, my cousins are finishing college and have internships and I am going to be a freshman in college.

I listen to a couple of songs that were popular during my freshman year of high school. I remember worrying about my classes and thinking that my high school years would determine the path my life would take. Now, I am nervous and excited about college. I am practically a different person.

I used to think of my nostalgia in a negative way, thinking to myself, "oh, here it comes again- that ache in my heart when I yearn for something to come back."
I was almost afraid of the feeling, having to brace myself for the deep unhappiness that it brought me.

Lately, I have been coming to terms with growing up and with not being a kid anymore.
I think that a part of my feeling nostalgia was due to my fear of losing time and thinking that if only I could go back, I could make more time for myself to be young and free.
I don't want to be one of those people who wonders how they got so old- how they suddenly went from being young and in their prime to getting ready for retirement. I feel like I need to think deeply about how my life is so suddenly changing.

My perspective on nostalgia changed later this summer, though.
I think it changed at this point in my life because I am realizing that life is a work in progress. I am slowly shifting from being the type of person who wants to keep the moment and who feels that life is best when you have more time (are younger)- to being the type of person who understands and lives according to the idea that life is what you do and how you live in the entirety of your time here on earth.
Life is not about having the best and being the best in any one moment. Rather, it is about how you got from, and what you did in between, Point A (beginning of life) to Point B (end of life).
Life is also not about being young and free forever (obviously). Life is about moving on to new experiences and challenges, not dwelling on old ones.
Actually, while listening to my old songs, I realized that my journeys on overcoming my previous challenges were fun and the best part of success- feeling the inspiration to succeed. 

However, although nostalgia is generally considered a negative, sad term- I have realized that it has some positive aspects and can help us improve on ourselves.

It was when I was listening to an old song this summer and I got that, "the nostalgia is coming" feeling when I learned of this truth. I braced myself for the ache.

But instead of the ache, I felt a calmness.
Instead of feeling sad that the past was over, I felt happy that it happened and felt inspired by the fact that the past was once my reality.

I did not previously think about accepting that the past is gone, nor did I try in any way to stop the nostalgic feeling from coming.
I just suddenly felt inspired.
Instead of feeling the usual desire to wanting to return to the past, I felt motivated to look towards the future. I felt excited about the future BECAUSE of my past.
I realized that just because my days of overcoming an old challenge are gone, it doesn't mean that the presence of those days are over. I know that this sounds strange, but I would not be who I am if not for those days. My current self is a continuation of my past self and my life now is a continuation of my life then. 

This was when I realized that nostalgia can be used to inspire, improve and motivate us.

If this feeling of happiness does not come to you, here is how to get it:

Remember that you were once living in that moment.
Remember that you are still the same person who lived life the way that you miss living it. 
Remember that life is a single entity and is not specifically about anyone stage- it is about every year and stage in your life. So, enjoy this stage just as you had enjoyed that one because you will probably end up feeling nostalgic for this one too. 


How to keep yourself from getting nostalgia:

This is a technique (I call it "Time Traveling") I learned a couple of years ago. It may sound strange to you, but I find that it always helps. 

Whenever I am enjoying any one moment or major change in my life and know that I will miss it, I give myself a couple of seconds to think about the fact that I am in the moment. 
Then I imagine that I am in the future, missing the moment.
Then I think about the present and remind myself that I am still in the moment and enjoy it as much as I might think I should have in the future. 

When the future comes and I think back to that moment, I remember how I mentally prepared myself and knew what was coming- and I don't feel the ache. I think about it more from a wow-I -remember-when-that-happened perspective, rather than a I-wish-I-could-go-back-and-relive-the-moment perspective. 

The first time I used this technique was at my eighth grade graduation. From the stage where my classmates and I sat, I looked at the audience and then my friends sitting alongside me. I thought about being in high school and missing that moment, and then returned to the present moment and felt much better about letting myself relax and not think about thinking about every moment of my graduation so as not to "miss anything". 

I also used this technique when I was a freshman. I was falling asleep to one of my favorite songs at the time (music has a huge role in nostalgia as we all know). I knew that I would miss being a high school freshman and still being a kid. I knew that one day I would look back at my freshman self and miss being a freshman. I closed my eyes, imagined being a senior, and then open my eyes and reminded myself that I was still a freshman. 

Doing this also makes me more open to new possibilities and opportunities because I put myself in the mindset of thinking what I should've\could've done. 

Maybe this doesn't make any sense to you, but I recommend that you try this technique. 

Also, remember that life is about the journey as a whole, not only the good times and the bad. 
Enjoy life and look towards the future, as opposed to dwelling on the past. 
Don't forget though, that missing old times can be helpful, and to use your nostalgia to improve on yourself. 

Most importantly: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."- Dr. Seuss

Allow the World to Be your Runway

This is a quick post- just a short story and what I learned from it. 

I was really bored yesterday and so decided to try out some makeup and a curling wand that I had bought earlier this week. 

After some foundation, blush, bronzer, eyeliner, and lipstick- you know, the whole shebang (oh, and curling my hair), I was finished with my look. 

I wasn't sure if I liked it, so I took a couple of photos and sent them to my friends for their opinions. 

My sister then needed me to take her to Target.

My first thought was, "how can I leave the house with all of this makeup and my hair looking like I just came from a runway show (because it looked really grand)?"

This may sound crazy to some of you- but I thought it was embarrassing. 

I felt like my makeup and hair were "too nice" and "too much" for a regular day. 

I did go to Target with my hair all made up and my makeup still on my face, but the entire time I felt out of place (of course it's just Target- there are different kinds of people, so feeling out of place doesn't make sense) and like a try-hard. 

My friends told me that they loved the look and even encouraged me to do my makeup every day. When I told one friend how I felt about wearing makeup and having my hair done, she said that it doesn't matter what others decide to look like and that I should do what's best for me. 

Now, I know that I sounded like a little child, but I think this is something that a lot of people worry about: Looking acceptable and appropriate according to the world's terms. 

Nowadays, people leave their houses in-literally- pajamas. Or, some people wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt while covering their faces with makeup. 

Basically, I realized that I shouldn't be afraid or feel uncomfortable about being-well- classy. 

It used to be that people would look presentable wherever they would go- even if they went down the street. Nowadays, not so much. 

Now, this is not to say that one could only look presentable while wearing makeup and having their hair done, or that one should be able to wear nothing if they are happy with that. What I am saying is that we should seize the world and make it ours. 

Look good. Dress nicely. Wear something exciting. Don't be afraid to make the world your runway.

Because it is.

You just have to accept it.

Don't Let the Passion Go

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."- Babe Ruth

Life, too, is sort of like a game.

We start with what we're given, advance through the years like a game board hoping to attain whatever it is that makes us the winner, and somebody wins.

But what if we begin to believe that we don't have a chance at winning?

You probably think that I'm going to continue this post by inspiring you to be positive and not give up on your goals.

However, there is something else that I think many people begin to face as we get older.

We start losing the passion for the activities, ideas, and dreams that we once were so hopeful about and sure were going to come true.
Or, we try to make ourselves believe that we don't "need" to fulfill those goals and dreams to lead happy, successful lives.

Nobody wants to admit to him or herself that they "lost" or couldn't accomplish their dreams, and so many of us slowly but surely allow those dreams to fade into the past.

That is until we one day (might) look back and wish or realize that we could've\should've continued with those plans.

To all of you who feel\believe that your "childhood" dreams are just not the path for you, or are not important, anymore- double check.

Maybe you're just letting that passion or dream go because you feel like you're too old to achieve it, or that you missed your chance, or that it won't work out since you're going to college, or it won't work out because you don't have the time you used to have, etc.

Think about this:

Life is going to happen either way. Do you want to let life go according to your terms, or the terms of "whatever happens?"
It is only when you have tried to the best of your ability and things still don't go according to plan, when you can say, "I did my part."

The one clear difference between a game and life is that a game can be played multiple times while we only get one chance at life. Of course, we are given many opportunities throughout life to improve ourselves, sharpen our skills in a particular area, and to experience happiness and joy- but we get only one chance to enjoy life as a whole.

We get one shot to live the best life possible, and to live a life that is reflected off of our dreams and aspirations.

Babe Ruth understood this idea not only in terms of a game, but also in terms of life.
He was talented- which was one reason why he had the chance to live his dream.
However, there were so many reasons why he wouldn't have been able to succeed- one of them being racism.

Even though he was threatened and his life was in danger by being placed in the public eye, he did exactly what he encouraged others to live by:

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Sometimes Letting Things Go Is the Best Thing You Can Do

I like to control things. 

Most of us do.

Most of us are also driving ourselves crazy because we just can't let go and allow life to happen. 

Well, I'm not like that anymore. It was actually a couple of months ago when I wrote those first three lines of this post. I decided to try an experiment:

Whenever I start stressing a lot about things not working out, or start becoming a control freak, I remind myself that all I can do is try my best. I remind myself that I am hardworking, have accepted challenges that I need to overcome in order to achieve my goals, and am making the decisions that are best for me at this stage in my life. 

I would take a deep breath, and just let the stress go. 

I am not giving in to pressure. I have simply learned that trying your best is enough. 

If you are trying your best, what more can you do?

Stressing and fighting the current of life's occurrences will not get you any further. 

It will wear you out, and it's just not worth it. 

So, the results of my experiment:

I find myself feeling much happier. I am enjoying life. 

I take necessary precautions and steps in order to make sure to the best of my ability that things will work out, but if things don't work out, I don't freak out. 

I actually found myself doing better in school and feeling healthier. 

Just to let you know- I am very stubborn, and it took me some time to really let go and relax. 

If I could do this, then you can do it too. 

At least give it a try. 

Take a deep breath. 

Acknowledge that you're trying your best.

Let the stress go. 

Work hard. Try your best. Take the necessary steps. 

Relax. 

Tell Your Story

Friday marked the end of a chapter in my life.

Graduate high school- check! Complete! Finito!!

Not only has this marked the completion of my high school education, but it has marked the completion of the journey I had set upon long ago. This journey that I am referring to was my journey to become the person I had dreamed of being.

I wanted to somehow find a little closure to this moment in my life. I had an idea.

I decided to write a poem. Telling a story would take too long, I thought to myself.

I recommend this to all people who have reached a certain stage in their lives or specific dream, who need a little closure or something that can show them, "Hey, I did it- this was where and how it all began."

If a poem or story isn't really your thing, then do or make something that symbolizes the end of reaching a certain goal. Keep this thing near you. Put it somewhere you can see it everyday or share it with people. Do whatever you want with it. This is for you.

I have posted my poem below.
My little tribute to completing this chapter of my life:

This story starts with a shy little girl

As she was sitting on the concrete curb

She looked up to the sky, it was a beautiful day

And closed her eyes as she began to pray

There was something she wanted and needed to get

She longed for it so badly, she wouldn’t waste her time and fret

There was something holding her back from happiness

Despite her trying, there was still a hovering cloudiness

You see,

This girl was very deeply shy

For no reason she would start to cry

If someone were to smile or look or speak

A place to hide she would begin to seek

It was that year she was starting a new school

Everyone was really friendly and cool

They sat down beside her so that with them she would play

But this girl didn’t talk, they realized by the end of the day

So they stopped trying and her presence did fade

What they didn’t know was that this girl was afraid

But one moment made her realize she needed to change

And that she needed to escape this fear that was her cage

It was when she was playing one day in school

And some girls were acting a little cruel

She got so upset she began to cry

Far away she did want to fly

A boy stood behind her as he said in her ear

That nobody cared, she had to get over her fear

And at that moment, the tears stopped flowing

She would not allow this fear to continue growing

For the next three years, though it was hard

She began learning how to let down her guard

On the bus she would sit for two hours each day

The music inspired her while on her ipod it would play

She imagined a time when the struggle would end

When she would be able to make real friends

So she sat down at her desk with a paper and pen

She had decided how she wanted to be and by when

She had lists of words that she wanted to be

And hid them away so that no one would see

This vision she planted in her brain

Soon there would be no more cloud above her, no more rain

She had eventually overcome her sensitivity

Had attained a wonderful phase of serenity

She was now talking and playing outside

No longer did she have the desire to hide

Then came the time when she had to graduate

She had to make a choice, there were no hints from fate

The others were going to schools far away

But home was where she wanted to stay

So she chose to travel every day

From her home to another state, it was far away

She figured that she would give it a chance

And looked toward the future without a second glance

But she soon learned that it wasn’t her place

There was no time to catch up with their pace

She was the only one at school from her town

She was overwhelmed and couldn’t help but frown

She cried to her parents so they would let her leave

Or else the success she deserved she would not achieve

But this was a private school and they wanted her to stay

It was boarding school or this, there was nothing else for her to say

And so she came home at dark every day

Looked up at the stars and for a second would pray

She didn’t know how she would get through the year

It seemed that nothing in her life was for her to steer

She was working so hard and couldn’t stop time

She felt that not being perfect was like committing a crime

So one day when she came home with a thought

She wrote a song, her attention was caught

She sat on her bed for two hours that night

At the end of the tunnel there would be light

It was about the beginning of her story

And how it would end with her glory

But the others didn’t see what she was going through

Only her good friends, there were only a few

She tried to do well in every way that she could

At the time she thought she couldn’t finish, although as the story goes- she would

That summer had come and she was with her friends

When she began to tell her story through her own lens

She concluded with tears that she just couldn’t stay

They said they would support her decision either way

So that night she came home with her decision made

The next day she signed up for Eastern’s eleventh grade

She walked down the hall, it was intimidating

But the fear she once had was not aggravating

The beginning was tough, there is too much to write

But sooner than later she began to take flight

Somewhere between the dark days and her final choice

She came to discovering her inner voice

She was sure that she came to the right place

When she met a girl with an inviting face

She and this girl became best of friends

And had helped each other through the high school trends

And the girls she once knew were looking her way

Because I am so different from who I was that first school day

And the boy who had whispered in her ear long ago

Was no longer smirking because her conversations would actually flow

And every day when she walks down the hall

She remembers how she thought she would fall

Fall so hard and would call

But no one would come- there would be just a wall

Right now she is opening the letter she wrote to her senior self

And grabs for the list she hid on her shelf

She now knows with full content that she has achieved

Her prayers that she once could have only hoped God would receive

Dealing With Negative Emotions

I have a good friend who is going through a rough time. 
She feels a lot of anxiety from school. 
Not the usual "I have a ton of work to get done" anxiety. Rather, her anxiety stems from the kids in her school. 
She is one of the most mature and nicest people I have ever met. However, school really gets to her and affects her negatively. 

A little more background about my friend and her situation:
She HATES the school environment. She has been counting down the days to graduation since freshman year. There are certain groups of kids that make fun of her and, although she stands up for herself, as she should, they have been continuing their bullying for the past several years. Two teachers specifically give her a difficult time, telling her inappropriate things such as, "If you are this lazy, how do you get things done outside of school?" and, "Are you stupid?" She has tried to hold in her frustration before, but it only results in it becoming expressed later on and that's not any better of an outcome. 

Although many of you may not have this specific type of situation, you may be facing something that causes you to feel bad about yourself or just generally unhappy. 

When she told me about her situation, I proposed several ways to think about the situation and steps that she could take to improve her circumstance and her outlook on the situation:

• Breathe. DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONS TO OVERCOME YOU- The second I saw her today, I could tell that she was upset. She began to tell me that she was fed up with how she was being treated (fairly so). Her entire body language expressed frustration. It seemed as if she was about to lose her mind. Other people began to watch her and it seemed to me that she didn't notice that. 
• NEVER GIVE PEOPLE A REASON\OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE YOU A VICTIM AND NEVER MAKE YOURSELF A VICTIM- Obviously, if you need to stand up for yourself or what you believe in, do that. I am referring to the kind of situation where a person acts out of the norm. It is OK to show that you're upset, but CONTAIN YOURSELF!!! 
• Other people may judge you based on your demeanor at the moment. Don't give them a reason to judge you or laugh at you. Compose yourself. 
• Learn to adapt to your current environment. You don't need to do what everyone else is doing or be how everyone else is- just be "normal." I can say that I very different than most of the kids in my current school just because I have only been there for 2 years and was raised differently than a lot of the other kids. So, I just act neutral. I'm not totally this or totally that- I'm just normal. 
• You may read this and think, "normal? Why should I conform just to not have to go through difficulties?" What I am saying, though, is that it is important to know how to act in different settings. 
• You act differently when you are at school and when you are at home, when you are with friends and when you are with family. There are different expectations on how to act in different situations. 
• It is scientifically true that wiser people are better at containing their emotions. This makes sense. When people think of a wise person, they think of a calm, composed, put-together individual. Be wise. 
• Stop thinking negative thoughts, because they show on your exterior- She hates the school scene and the people in it. I told her to stop thinking about hate, aggravation, misunderstanding and how she could be spending her time more productively. Constantly having a negative state of mind will always result in you feeling unhappy. 
• Think about making the best of the situation. Make the best of the situation by thinking positive thoughts and continuing to be a nice person. 
• It is psychologically true that if you act as the person you want to be, then you will simultaneously become that person. 
• It is also psychologically true that feigning confidence eventually results in true confidence.
• CHANNEL YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE- I told my friend to take all of her frustration out on being better! I told her to work on her organization, write poetry, or just improve herself as a person. 
• The people who hurt you will not be affected by you going crazy. They will not be affected by you getting depressed or whatever else happens to you. YOU and those whom you love will be affected. So if you decide to react to the situation in a negative manner, you will receive negative feedback.

15, 16, 17, 18, 19 . . .

My grandpa used to say that it is important to enjoy every age because you will only get to be that age once. 

I think about that often.

When I was 14, 15, and even 16 years old, I was the can't-miss-a-day-of-school, gotta-be-mature type of person. I would not allow myself to ever miss school, even if I was sick. I was so caught up in trying to be everything all at once and would constantly worry about the future. 

Now, as a senior in high school and after attending both a prestigious private and public school with well-rounded kids, I realize that no matter who you are and where you come from, life comes with difficulties. Life will never always be perfect. Nothing is guaranteed in life. All you can really do is try your best in life.

However, as you are working hard to succeed in school and to be an overall well-rounded person, don't forget that it is important to enjoy- ENJOY- your time. Don't let your desire to be the perfect student and perfect everything get so in your head, that you forget that enjoying life is also giving yourself a break sometimes.

I was so hard on myself, so nervous about not always being perfect, that I would sometimes forget to just be a teenager. I would cop out on great chances because I was scared of not getting something else done.

This is how bad I had it: One summer (YES, THE FRIKKIN' SUMMER), my friend got me a ticket to a Harry Potter midnight movie release and I didn't go because I "wanted to be prepared for camp the next day." That was my actual reason and I was actually concerned. 

Maybe you're not that extreme, but you get my point. 

I learned to change.

Earlier this year, I went to visit some old friends of mine. I skipped school for the day and went to a basketball game. It was great. I'm a senior. I go to school every day. I work hard in school.

 I gave myself a break. It was one of the best days.

Today I overslept and, instead of frantically running out the door and getting to school like I would have last year, I allowed myself to skip the day. Then again, it is the end of my senior year and it was a half-day, but the point is that I gave myself the chance to relax and be like, "Hey, let me do something different."

I actually think that people who give themselves chances to relax and have fun and aren't constant workaholics, tend to do better in their working environments and are happier overall. I see it with the other kids in my school.

Just make sure not to be one of those who relax tooooo much. Work hard. Try your best. But have your fun too. 

Yes, you can be successful and have your fun too.

I would see other kids having fun and still succeeding, and wondered about it. I was scared to "let go," to take the chance of losing my "straight path." 

BUT, you don't have to be "bad" or whatever. Just relax. Stop kicking yourself over mistakes and things that didn't work out. Just know that you're trying your best. 

Work hard, play hard. 

You can do everything in your power to be someone or get something, but it may not work out. It happens. This isn't to say that you shouldn't try, but just that you should not put all of your eggs in one basket. 

Enjoy working hard and don't forget to enjoy everything that life has to offer in the here and now. 

  Again- Work hard. Play hard.

Are You Really Taking Action?

There is a song that I wrote a couple of years ago. It is called "The Answer Is In You."

It is basically about not forgetting to actually take action to reach my dreams.

Sometimes we let things go . . . either we wait for a sign or for something to let us know that it is the right time . . .

I realized at a certain point though, that sometimes when I think that I'm doing all that I can do to reach a certain goal, I am actually not doing much at all. 

For example:

I have been going to the gym regularly for two years now. When I first started going to the gym and exercising after many years of no exercise, I lost a ton of weight. As with many people, my weight decreased only up to a certain amount, and after that point, remained constant. As the year went on, I continued doing the same workouts, all the while wondering why I wasn't losing any more weight. It took me some time to realize that I'm not going to progress unless I push myself harder. Meaning, switching to different workouts and working more on toning than cardio. 

BUT, I still hadn't gotten to the point of really taking action. Yes, I started different workouts and worked on toning, BUT I wasn't really pushing myself. I would stop when I felt "tired" and did not really carry out the exercises to their maximum potential. I was easy on myself. At a certain point, I realized that if I really want to tone and shape my body, then I have to WORK. Really WORK. 

If you want it, then WORK for it. 

It is the same thing with my music. If I want people to visit my YouTube page and listen to my music, then I have to put myself out there. I need to upload more music, practice my songs, play them for people. I need to take cation, and stop carrying out my plans only halfway through. 

Don't do this to yourself. 

Think about whether you are really taking action towards reaching your dreams. 

Dream. Dream so much, that you feel like your dreams are about to come true. 

Just don't forget to take action.

I checked out other people's YouTube channels, and they have lists of videos. 

I realize that everyone wants success. You do, I do, they do . . . everybody. It is what people strive for. 

The difference between those who succeed and those who don't, are the ones who actually take action. 

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."- Bill Cosby

"If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse."- I don't know who said this, but it is true.

First, decide what it is that you want- a car, to be an actress, to get toned, to get straight A's . . .

Decide that you really truly honestly want it with all of your heart and desire. 

If you really want it and know\feel that it is worth it . . . Go. For. It.

Some helpful ways to keep track:

• Make a list of things you need to get done in the morning and actually get those things done.
• If you're not into lists, ask yourself what you will do or what you have done to reach your goal
• keep yourself motivated:
• Hang quotes and pictures in your room (I place them right by my desk where I can see them while I am working)
• Use social media sites to surround yourself with positive thoughts 
• Like positive pages on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever else, so that see positive things when you go on those sites.
• Get a Pinterest- Seeing what you want reminds you to work for them and keeps you motivated. I warn you though, it can get addicting!! Please manage your time!!
• If you have a Google+, join inspiring, motivating, and helpful pages!
• This may be obvious but listen to inspiring, upbeat music. Music has a great effect on your mood and thoughts. Get pumped. 
• Start playlists on Spotify, Pandora, etc.
• Make a Youtube playlist- you can also include other inspirational videos and not only music!
• Do something every day that gets you closer to your dream. Whether it be practicing your song, working out for ten minutes, or reviewing last year's math notes to prepare you for this year's math course . . .
• Keep a journal if you're into journals- they can be super helpful. Then, after you achieve your goal, you can look back and remember how it all started. I kept a journal when I went to sleep away camp and whenever I read it, I get the satisfaction of remembering just how much I had grown (as well as a few laughs).

Most importantly, believe in yourself. 

I know that sounds cheesy, but it is true. 

Good luck upon your journey.