Perfection Is Not a Skill and Should Not Be Our Goal

The other week I had a chance to read a bit about this week’s Parshat Vayigash on Chabad.org and came across an interesting article comparing Joseph and Judah. Of course, there is a takeaway message that we can incorporate into our lives⤵️

🤴🏻Joseph: the unofficial kind of Egypt. Has the glory that Judah lacked. Was more handsome, successful and loved. He was perfect, but his perfection was fragile. When things broke he was unable to fix them. The Torah recounts more examples of this. 

👨🏻Judah: a peasant shepherd whose shortcomings the Torah recounts over and over. However, he has the advantage of rising back up and build himself up again when he falls. This is a skill that Joseph lacks despite all his glory and wealth.

⚖️This dichotomy continues between those who are perfect until they falter, and those who mess up time after time and can still manage to rise up again.

🗝Despite how perfect someone or something might be, it won’t matter for long if it’s fleeting. That which is lasting and durable is what defines us at the end of the day. 

⚡️It’s not about with what we are born, but rather what we make of it and present it in our lives. Those who truly win are those who can endure, persevere, “deconstruct their personalities in order to reshape them,” channel low points into growth, draw wisdom and maturity from experience, and not allow their imperfections to set them back. 

Shabbat shalom! 

New Year

 

Life vs. Death

Holding someone’s hand as they take their last breaths. 

Watching someone die on the heart monitor as their heart rate goes down until eventually you see asystole.  

Telling people that you’re sorry there was nothing more you could do to save their loved ones. 

Having people ask you if they are going to die. 

Having people ask you to tell them that you wont let them die. 

 Seeing someone you’re caring for physically decline over a period of several weeks until their chances of survival are close to none. One organ failure leads to another. Sepsis takes over. If a COVID patient, breathing gets harder to the point where one can’t without a machine. 

 As a student nurse, I had been present during several deliveries during my labor and delivery rotation. Playing a (very slight) role in a new life’s entrance into this world. As an actual nurse (in my position), sometimes all you can do is try your best to make someone’s exit as pleasant and meaningful as you can. 

The other day during my shift in the ICU, there were two thoughts I had as I took a moment to find personal closure and come to terms with the fact that my patient was gone. 

 What do I do after this experience? How does it change me? 

As weird as it sounds, it’s a privilege to have this type of eye opening and extremely honest experience that most people don’t have or get to see. It’s one of the major raw truths of (seemingly contradictory) life. 

It’s one of the most fair reminders with which we can be presented. 

Despite the sadness I felt in that moment, I also felt weirdly inspired. Someway, I felt recharged. I felt new. Perhaps because in a way for me too it felt like an end, and with an end comes a beginning. I imagined what that person had been able to achieve in their lifetime, what they worried about and what/who they loved, how they dealt with their losses and if they made a big deal out of them, if they took the time to cherish moments and people. We still have time. Our battery is not up. But the clock is still ticking for us. We don’t think about our ultimate mortality on a regular basis, but perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if we did. Helps put things in perspective and reminds us to spend our time and energy wisely. 

As a nurse... or really in general a healthcare professional... I am constantly drawing a line between life and death. I live and think on a different realm, in a sense. I want to share these thoughts and experiences. I hope others can take something from them.

Dry Brushing

Something I’ve incorporated into my routine and that I recommend to people whenever they ask me for any additional ways to get a skincare boost. Not an expert but I’m that person who does her research on any additional health benefits people can get from alternative sources. So here are some reasons why you might want to give it a try:

🌸The mechanical action of dry brushing  exfoliates dry winter skin. 

🌸Helps detoxify the body by increasing blood circulation and promoting lymph flow/drainage. Start from your ankles and brush upward toward your heart. Then from your wrists also towards your heart. Perform about 5 strokes on each part you’re brushing. 

🌸Unclogs pores. Some report smoother skin. I like to use my dry brush with with a body scrub because the beads allow for stronger exfoliation and removal of dead skin. 

🌸Stimulates your nervous system, which can make you feel invigorated afterward. One of my favorite benefits. 

🚿Perform on dry skin before you shower. Brushing the skin while it is dry allows you to exfoliate and increase blood circulation without removing moisture, since hot water can do that. Apply lotion after your shower. 

Make The Most Of Your Twenties

Some major points I picked up reading The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of Them

💥Invest in your identity capital- your individual resources, personal assets, investments you make in yourself. This is what we bring to the adult marketplace. How we solve problems, how we speak. This requires exploration. Have the nerve to make commitments that can help you build a stronger identity, be more resilient, and have a clearer sense of self and direction. 

👭Build your weak ties along with your strong ties. Having close friends is important, but it’s also a good idea to branch out to those outside of our comfort zone. Usually those are the people who know things we don’t and can help information and opportunity to spread faster. We limit ourselves when we huddle with only our close ties, the same people all the time. 

🧠 Create a sharp narrative of who you are. Build your story and identity off of your talents, experiences, desires, and plans. Claiming your identity and parts of it like your job or career isn’t the end, as people might assume and fear. It’s just the beginning. Making choices and choosing a direction in life are essential and shouldn’t be pushed off. 

💪🏼 Don’t be afraid of being challenged. You are passionate about what you do, but at times feel anxious and incompetent? Then you’re most likely in a solid, challenging, secure job where you and what you do actually matter. The twenties is a transitional period. Many of us have never held full time jobs before. Even the social expectations at work are different than usual. You probably wont get instantly complimented for your hard work. Twentsomethings find negative info more memorable than positive info, in comparison to older adults. The seat to the emotional brain- the amygdala- is more active during these years. As we get older, we feel more secure and grounded. It generally gets easier not to break or feel like a leaf being blown around by the wind. Learn to grow roots and stand in the wind. 

Students of Life

In school, we are not taught how to live life. 

We are not taught how to be happy. 

Or how to be confident.

How to make good friends or build healthy relationships.

How to choose right from wrong. 

How to make decisions.

To separate feelings and emotions from intellect and reasoning. 

If we want to learn how to be successful, happy, true to ourselves, resilient, emotionally, and spiritually developed… we have to take those matters into our own hands. 

I’ve always seen myself as being a student. I've always loved school and education.

But it wasn’t until I started working on myself and my goals that I understood how much I love being a student of life.

What always astounds me is how life itself is our greatest teacher. It is our best coach. It won't give up on us.

Because it always comes back with a new challenge. Often times, an even harder one. 

I've always been passionate about living an amazing, exhilarating, fascinating life. For me personally, the best way to do that is to learn. Learn from the best, from the knowledgable, the strong, the wise… 

This is why I have compiled lists of my favorite resources.. to share with my viewers and followers. You can check them out on my website here. 

Tread New Waters

"Normalize changing your opinion when presented with new information.” 

Whether it be how we view different facets of life, others, and even ourselves. 

When we are unable to challenge our current beliefs and perceptions, is this not a sign of intellectual immaturity and setback? 

This is how we grow and develop. One of the best ways to learn about anything is to study and explore it from different angles. I’ve done this by studying or independently researching different political views, religions, and even medical theories and practices. It’s all helped me to become even more certain of my personal decisions and views. Always trying new things and asking if there is something else that totally escaped my field of vision. Talk to those who have a different vision, maybe one that’s even scary or weird to you. 

Learn from the best, but also learn from those who see and do things differently. Sometimes you can find answers there you never thought possible. Or maybe you’ll find something you didn’t realize you were looking for. Don’t hold yourself back. Allow yourself to tread new waters.