3-Step Technique To Liberate Yourself From Anxiety And Fear

There are 3 steps to liberating yourself from your weaknesses and fears.

1️⃣ Realize what your weaknesses and fears are

2️⃣ Come to terms with them

3️⃣ Embrace them wholeheartedly

Yes, wholeheartedly. ❤️

Some might say, "well, why to embrace them rather than fight them off?"

Because: weaknesses and fears are NORMAL. We are meant to have them. Our role is to learn how to use them to propel us forward. 

We will never be %1000 fearless and I would hope not. I don't want you jumping out of a plane thousands of feet in the air or reaching for a hot stove without first thinking it through really well. I don't want you making a decision that will determine your future without being really sure it's right for you. 

(WATCH THE FULL YOUTUBE VIDEO HERE). 

Having that bit of anxiety is healthy. It's using it to our advantage that is the trick and the goal here. 

Having overcome chronic anxiety myself, there are three steps that allowed me to fully embrace my fears and weaknesses. It took me a lot of time to adopt this view of life. I needed to undergo certain experiences and used trial and error to perfect my outline of how to go about doing this in a way that wouldn't be too overwhelming for me. 

Okay, so let's get to it. 👍🏻

1. Realizing and understanding what your fears are, is itself extremely liberating. Define what exactly it is that makes you nervous, holds back from doing what needs to be done and from fulfilling your dreams, and makes you want to perhaps even change your entire direction in life. There was a time when I felt so overwhelmed with my dreams and the things I would have to do to achieve them (put myself out there, risk rejection and negative feedback, etc) that I thought that perhaps it wasn't worth it and I should start looking for something easier. 

NOOOO. I quickly came to the realization that I'd rather risk embarrassment doing what I dream of than staying in a safe haven (which isn't really all that safe because that turns into disappointment and resentment) and holding back from my true mission. 

Make it very clear and understandable for yourself what these things are. 

Write them down.

When starting something, go over this list. 

Which leads me to point two.

2. Accept that you feel this way. Yes, you are nervous people might think you're stupid or lame or a horrible singer or artist or whatever. AND THAT'S OKAY.  That's not your problem. Your problem is getting over this hump and you're freakin' doing it!! So your problem is solved. You will never control others' opinions and the things people say/do. And that's not your role or responsibility. Your responsibility is to yourself. 

Accept that this is the reality at the moment. 

Remember, the only way you overcome fear is by doing that which you're afraid of. 

The only way I got over my phobia of spiders (couldn't even look at drawings of them) was by exposing myself to them. At 11, I forced myself to go to sleepaway camp. My father, a psychiatrist who was even more desperate than (lol) for me to get over my phobia, would collect insects in empty jars and containers and leave them on our porch so I could use them for exposure therapy😂

Sooo... the best and really only thing you can do is just accept the fact that you experience these emotions and act on these dreams and goals anyway. Hell yeah💪🏼

3. Finally... give all those fears and anxiety-ridding dreams and the failures and the wins and losses that came with them A HUGE HUG. You are so many wonderful things, and it's amazing that you aren't perfect. Life would be boring if you were. People don't find true joy and pride in the things that come easily to them. These are your struggles and you're doing something about them. You are way ahead of the game. Think of all the people who took their dreams to the grave with them. Think of all those who looked back at their lives and wished they had the guts to do all the things they were too scared to do. In the end, we all die. The people whose opinions we fear will be dead. And if you screw up... no one will be alive to tell it anyway. 

That's how I like to think about it: if you become super successful, then great, you did it. If not and you feel embarrassed about it, don't worry because no one will remember you anyway right? Either way, you'll be okay. But you'd sure as hell rather take the chance and know you at least tried. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

The Time Is Here And Now | New Year 2020

I’m done with the throwbacks. Because the truth is that anything I miss, I'm creating in my world. I don’t want to live a life of nostalgia and reminiscing on “the good times.” 

Everything good is here. 

Life is good. 

Let’s stop having boring dull lives with happiness and excitement interspersed throughout it, and instead have the happy and exciting times being the main theme! 

The challenges, hardships, struggles and all else are momentary. 

The good, the happy, the joy, the moments of sincere gratitude are the constant. 

Especially now with the holidays and new year, let’s begin a NEW new cycle. Our dreams and aspirations are on the front line. Everything else is secondary. 

To start on this journey (when is a better time than now? There isn’t) and to find out more, check out BetterMe Mission Site for resources and downloads to help you get on your way! 

#2020vision #newyearnewme #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #2020ismyyear #startyourlife #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #newyeariscoming #happyholidays2019 #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

2020 Is Going To Be Your Year

WRITE THIS DOWN NOW!!!

🦋what are your 3 top goals for this coming year?

🦋What are 3 lessons you learned this year that you are not going to repeat?

🦋what 3 things are you choosing to let go of and not carry into this new year?

Photo credit: @secrets2success

Caption credit: @betterme.mission 

GUIDE: Exactly How To Generate Positive Vibes and Thoughts (Even When The Going Gets Rough)

OKAY PEOPLE!!

Everything good is coming our way! 

Gosh, what am I saying?🤔

Everything good is already HERE!🤙

That is, if you allow it to be. It depends entirely on you. 

I know you're probably thinking, "How so, Dev?"👀

Well, if your thoughts and beliefs create your reality... and since you control your thoughts and beliefs... this means that you have the power to generate whatever you want.

The KEY🗝 is to learn, therefore, how to control your thoughts and change your beliefs.

And you must. It's going to take time and some effort, but with persistent practice, you WILL get there. Heck, I'm still practicing (getting better every day☝🏻) and I've been doing this for a while.

Because guess what. 

If we are focusing on the negative, we will only attract more negative into our lives. 

Likewise, if we attract positive, then we will attract positive into our lives.

Like attracts like. 

Make sense? By the way, if you want to learn more, check out my downloadables on this exact topic! You can find them all here! And I'm adding more and more all the time! 

So here are my top pointers on how to generate positive vibes even when the going gets rough (because life requires the going gets rough and we are supposed to learn how to grow from these challenges). 

1. Do a meditation- Sometimes we get so caught up in the situation at hand, the feelings generated from an experience, past issues and the emotions attached to them, starting to come up... we just need to step back and realign ourselves with our mission and goals. Instead of resisting the thoughts, feelings, and reality at hand... allow them to flow through you.
• The best way to allow them to flow through you is to meditate. Stop what you're doing, close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, and just BREATHE. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and just allow yourself to relax. Focus on your breath and allow all negativity to show up as they desire, acknowledge them, and let them go. Don't try to fight them, just accept them as thoughts. 
2. Observe your thoughts- as I wrote above. When you simply step back and observe your thoughts and feelings, you cease owning them. We berate ourselves for thinking a certain way or acting our emotions that we try to suppress... but we can also choose to stop owning them and taking them personally. Just we think negative thoughts, it doesn't mean we are negative. We are human. Observe and let go. 
3. Listen to something positive- whether it be a song, a speaker, a video on something silly and funny. 
• When you focus your attention on those things, you align your energy with that energy. 
• Loosen up. Allow yourself to align with the energy you truly desire to live by. 
4. Journal- When you write down exactly how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way, you gain a LOT of clarity. 
• Clarity allows for understanding, which allows for an opening for something new to enter into our space (positivity please🙏🏻). 
• This also helps us to let go- to let off steam- which therefore allows us to feel more positive and accepting of something new.
5. Get up and get out- if you've been sitting for too long, focusing on one thing to no or little avail and are building up frustration... then you need to get up physically (yes do it even if you're lazy and/or a have a deadline because this will give you more time and energy in the long run) and step out of your current scene. Step outside, go on a walk, go for a drive around your neighborhood). Then come back and start again.

Let me know if these helped you at all 🐒 and share with a friend or two so that they can get some more positivity too🐸

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

3 Steps To GET RID of Negative Thoughts In SECONDS

Speaking of impeachment (all over the news), let’s apply it into our personal lives, people🤸🏼‍♂️ 

HOW TO DEAL WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS IN SECONDS⤵️

When that negative thought enters your mind, give it a nice kick🦵🏻out the door🚪

Question those things that you tell yourself. 

Where is the validity and integrity? 

Where did you get those ideas that you’re not good enough or strong enough or capable? 

🌈The world is offering you opportunities that you must allow into your life. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re blocking the receiving of those positive things. 

So do this👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

1️⃣ Every time a negative thought comes to you, take a deep breath in and blow out the thought. Literally. Blow it out. Doesn’t need to be forceful- you’re telling your mind that you’re not allowing the negative energy inside. 

2️⃣ Imagine yourself in your ideal, dream state. How you look, feel, who you’re with, your energy…

3️⃣ Tell yourself THAT is who I am because that is who I CHOOSE to be!

Let me know down below if you’ve put this into practice💩

GET THIS CLEAR: Not Everyone Needs to Like You (HOW TO STOP CARING)

Not everyone needs to love❤️ you or know your worth.
Mainly because it's really not a necessity to have everyone like you, and also because it's kind of a waste of time⌛️ to focus your attention on impressing other people. 

Your main focus should be on impressing and loving yourself🙆🏻‍♀️🙆🏻‍♂️. Because the truth is that if you don't love or respect yourself, no amount of respect or love from others is going to make you truly happy. 

You could be doing things that others find lame, boring, and unimportant. But if that something gives your life, excitement, and passion... then why does it matter what others think? They are not you and you are not them🙊. 

Or you could be doing things that other people find cool, exciting... things that other people dream of doing. However, if your heart isn't in it, what does any of it matter⁉️

In life, we will be met with those who love us, hate us, or are simply indifferent. And that is absolutely okay!

Actually, it is absolutely expected.

But also... who determined that others' opinions matter more than yours?
Why is their input more valuable than yours? Especially since you're the one living your life and having to deal with what you choose to do/not do.

HOW TO STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

👉🏻 Write down a list of character traits that you admire in yourself (and don't tell me there is nothing). You do this because the most important thing is that YOU like YOURSELF. You are the one who has to live in your own body and with your own mind FOREVER. Does this scare you? Good😂 GET TO WORK🤓

You need to focus on this list. This is who you are. GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD.

I also recommend that you write out a list of traits you would like to acquire. Imagine yourself as BEING that person. In fact, tell yourself that you ALREADY ARE that person. You will attract that positive energy into your life. Remember: energy flows where the thought goes.

👉🏻Realize that you are given a mission in this world. I don't care if you don't believe in this stuff. The point is that you play a certain role. Whether you like it or not. You're doing something every day- or not doing something/certain things every day-that define who and what and how you are. It doesn't matter if Joe Shmo doesn't approve or think you're "cool"🙄.
Not your problem😤
Focus on your mission and your purpose as opposed to others' opinions (because like they don't matter at the end of the day)- WHO CARES ABOUT JOE SHMO?!

👉🏻Do what you LOVE💙, what you are PASSIONATE about, what gets you in your FLOW (you know, when you're having so much fun doing what you're doing that you don't realize the time is passing by).
Remember: People who are truly happy simply care less about what others think.
Because how could they not?
They're enjoying themselves, they're EXCITED about what they're doing, they're PUMPED!!!

Be THAT person.
While Joe Shmo is in the corner finding the next person to judge... and is unhappy about everything in his life because if he were happy then he wouldn't care to be judging others and wouldn't have the time anyway because he would be in his own flow.

Get it?
Now go do it👊🏼

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes

That Time I Missed My Flight | On Dealing With The Unexpected

I missed my flight home today. Hence me writing this blog post in the middle of Boston’s Logan International Airport. This has never happened to me before and let’s just say it wasn’t a pretty picture when I realized that my 19-hour trip home from (of course because where else) Israel was going to be much longer than that. 

It was a scheduling issue. I landed in Boston at 5:30am and was scheduled to fly out at 7am. I was told right before my flight to Boston that I would have to check-in my luggage again at my layover (which took more time than I had). Although I mentioned my concern about not having enough time to get to my gate for my flight to New Jersey, I was assured by three different people that I would indeed make it. I retrieved my luggage from the belt at only 6:30am and got through security (after asking the nice couple in the front if I can cut in front of them (and the 50 other people behind them-sorry😪)) at 6:45am. After running to the gate with all of my (many) things, it had been too late and I was way over it- tired, overwhelmed, cranky, and extremely emotional. Let’s just saw there was some wheezing (I’m an avid runner, but my anxiety was through the roof) and lots of tears. Not that this was that big of a deal, but it was just all of the factors that built up to that moment. 

I was rescheduled to a flight that leaves 5 hours after my original and it has taken me 3 hours to realize what a blessing this is. Not only has G-d given me an opportunity to spend some time writing which I haven’t had the chance to do in a very long time, but he also placed a rocking chair at my gate!!! Anyone who knows me knows that I am sort of obsessed with rocking chairs- is there any better way to relax?! And at my gate? Only at my gate. I’ve had quite some time to walk around this airport today and even chill at random gates and had not seen any other rocking chair. This is the only rocking chair I have ever seen at an airport (if you have seen one at an airport before don’t tell me because I sort of want to believe this is God’s gift to me😂). 

Not only that but as I was walking to my gate (for the second time 2.5 hours later), I heard one of my favorite songs playing overhead that I haven’t listened to in a while. “Cause you are not alone. And I am there with you. And we'll get lost together. Til the light comes pouring through. Cause when you feel like you're done. And the darkness has won. Babe, you're not lost. When the world's crashing down. And you can not bear to crawl. I said, baby, you're not lost.”

It’s just so crazy how this is exactly what I needed though it was the last thing I could have ever thought I could want. G-d has given me an opportunity to slow down and take a breather. If I had made that flight, I would not have had the opportunity to sit down, chill, and slow the heck down because I would not have given myself that chance. I am always go-go-go… and after a week and a half of traveling in Israel for purposes not related to vacation as many might assume- I really needed to just stop and relax after a hectic week of traveling. So G-d gave it to me, and He has made it clear in so many ways. 

I figured I would share this because it's so common for us to focus on the fact that things didn’t go our way, that we fail to realize that perhaps they went in the best way possible for us after all… and that there is Someone out there looking out for us, many times saving us from ourselves. All we need to do is notice it. 

Added: I just realized that this all came full circle. On my way to Israel, I watched Whinny the Poo (don't make fun of me)! One of the messages from the movie that I really appreciated was that nothing is sometimes the best type of something (on the idea that doing nothing creates space for many things that are important to consider in life). Besides having the time to write this blog post, I have also had a great opportunity to do nothing of major value, which is generally very hard for me to do. I do not consider flying to be included in this time because I am not the best flyer and my time flying is usually extremely unproductive. This time doing nothing created the space for me to think about the fundamental ideas I wrote about in this blog post. This time doing "nothing" also gave me the time to decompress and, as I said, SLOW DOWN. So essentially I have been given the opportunity at the end of my trip to practice the lesson I picked up at the beginning of my trip :)