Kindness Is Beautiful

This is a short post and one that I am very excited about. I didn't expect to feel so enlightened after watching a Disney movie, but I ended up learning something special. 

This past weekend I decided to watch Beauty and the Beast after realizing that I had never seen it before (I know, it's craycray). I, like most people, felt the sincerity of the characters and the warmth of the happy-ending storyline. The stories are, of course, designed to elicit such feelings of happiness and enthusiasm, and the characters are presented as all of the things that a girl could want to be. Disney characters, especially princesses, are supposed to exemplify kind, caring, thoughtful role models for young viewers. 

Although many Disney movies are based on situations that will most probably never happen in real life, they do incorporate an important truth into their entirety. I extracted a lesson from the movie and inherited a different kind of understanding towards demeanor. 

I was struck by Belle's kindness: her kindness (more like selflessness) when taking her father's position in the castle, her kindness and patience towards the beast when he got hurt (even though he saved her) and needed to learn how to read and be nice, and her kindness when seeing through the beast's exterior.  

If you think about it, not only was she beautiful because of her perfectly designed figure and facial features, but also because of her "pretty" demeanor and beautiful elegance. The way that I think about it, she would not have seemed as beautiful to me if she wasn't so good-hearted and high-spirited. 

I realized that her sincere kindness is a major contributing factor to her beauty. Other traits of hers that I fell in love with were:

- Her desire for a better life and decision to attain a happy future 

- Her ability to see through people's exterior's

- Never falls for less than what she deserves 

- Her modesty

So let's all learn a lesson and true fact of life from Belle and the other princesses who exhibit kindness: kindness is beautiful. 

A Lesson learned-Putting Your Problems Into Perspective

We all hear and know that we are supposed to "appreciate what we have" and remember that "others have it worse than we do."

Now, this isn't to say that we shouldn't dream big dreams or push ourselves as hard as we have been to be the best that we can be and make the most of our lives. Rather, it is important to remember these sayings so that we acknowledge what we have as we continue on our journey to happiness and self-fulfillment. 

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am a stubborn person who has a hard time accepting failure. If I feel that I worked and pushed myself to the best of my ability to attain something that I can't seem to reach, then I automatically get angry. 

This is the case, of course, with all people. Humans by nature want to feel important and successful. We want to achieve something, and so we get upset when we are faced with an obstacle.

Well, I do indeed have difficulties and obstacles. We all do. This weekend, however, I learned (and maybe it may seem that I learned pretty late, and maybe you think that this is obvious) that other people truly have worse difficulties and obstacles than I do. 


At my school, seniors have to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting for a grade. That was fine. That was cool with me. I would show up, listen, get a pamphlet, have it signed, and leave. No big deal. Just an hour. 

I walked into the room where the meeting was held, all the while keeping my eyes glued to the floor. I sat in the front of the room, next to an older lady who had begun to speak about her addiction and how her life was turning out after she became sober. Next, the leader of the meeting spoke and then another older woman. Basically, somebody would introduce him or herself, speak about whatever they wanted to talk about, and then thank everybody else for listening to them. 

The room was silent as we waited for somebody else to introduce themselves and talk about their current situation. A girl from the back of the room introduced herself to the room. I turned around to notice that the entire back of the room was filled with other kids who go to my school. I did not know any of them personally, but we recognized each other. After this girl spoke, three of the other kids decided to speak. 

My gratitude had been smacked back into place. 

Some of the things that I heard:

Father was in jail. She asked why. Doesn't know if she should continue asking.

Uncle was an alcoholic. Father felt suicidal. She had to support the person who should have been supporting her.

Loss of a father. Never got to meet him. Has to go to prom without her father. Has to get married without her father. Was assaulted in a horrible way. 

The room was silent. I turned around and looked at my dad sitting next to me, and then at the floor. 

I thought to myself, "How could I be so selfish? My mom asks me to do a favor and I get annoyed. Even though I carry out her request, I still think to myself that I could be spending my time in a better way. I don't do as well on a test as I expect to do and I feel that life is unfair."

I wanted to say something about my own life and difficulties. I thought about speaking about overcoming anxiety and shyness, and recommending to the others that they recite the serenity prayer every day just as I do. I realized, though, that my problems come nowhere in comparison to the difficulties that those people are facing. 

I am lucky to have been able to overcome my struggle all on my own, to save myself from regretting a life of fear. I am lucky that I wasn't born into problems that led to more problems. I am lucky for so many reasons. 

I listed out my difficulties in my head: I am not a straight-A student, I am nervous about college, and I am afraid that I will be a "nobody".

I wouldn't even dare to say those things in front of those people because they would take them as a joke. Some of these people lost their jobs, marriages, honor, and money. Many of these people would scoff at my problems because they and I would both realize that all I'm saying is that my life is not perfect and that everything isn't handed to me on a silver plate. 

We all sat there in silence, listening to the sobs of those who were crying. Then a boy on the other side of the room introduced himself. I turned around to see one of my former classmates. I had probably exchanged only about two words with him over the course of the semester when we were together. He made eye contact with me before he confessed that he likes to hurt himself sometimes and that he is bullied. 

I started to cry. 
I'm not one to cry in front of others and, of course, am aware that there are man people who do the same thing as he does for the same reason that he has. 
I have seen all of these people, but I never really SAW them. Their pain, fear, hardships. There are so many of these people with hidden secrets and dark pasts. 

And I'm not one of them. 

I know that this sounds like just another experience and another story of someone who has been inspired, but imagine sitting in a room with a bunch of your acquaintances and suddenly discovering the truth that lies behind their exterior. 

There are so many of those stories. 
If you have such a story, I wish you the best of luck on your journey. I hope you win the fight.

As for the rest of us, let's remember to always put our problems into perspective and never let life's challenges get the best of us. 

Thanks and good luck.

5 Ways to Make Your Life Easier

These are a couple of things that I have taken time to work on remembering. I feel that many people do these things simultaneously, but it is important to think about the fact that not doing these things can save you much time and stress . . .

1. Don't take everything personally- I was a super sensitive kid. When I say sensitive, I mean . . . I was a pain! I would get upset if somebody didn't look at me a certain way or would say something without smiling. A couple of things, however, made me realize why this was stupid.

    - People act based on how they feel about themselves.
      Mean and rude = insecure. Friendly and nice = has some self-esteem.
      It is not your problem, it's theirs . . .
      I can honestly say that I am less likely to smile at somebody who I make eye contact with or act  
      friendly, when I feel insecure about something or am upset about something personal. This goes for
      all people- except maybe for those of us who are strong enough to still be outgoing in the face of
      disappointment or the sort.

     - People normally don't think about their every action and every facial expression- just as sometimes
       you and I don't realize that we might have said or done something that is not necessarily "nice," the
       same goes for others. I had to realize that people aren't trying to hurt my feelings ( I know, its
       craycray that I would be so sensitive), I would just take it personally. Now that I am not as
       sensitive (I really had to work on the whole sensitivity issue though), I realize that most of the
       things that would have hurt my feelings then, I don't think even think about at all today.

2. You don't need to react to everything-  If you don't like something, then don't respond to it. It's so
     simple, but also hard to do. When we see or hear someone or something we don't like, we tend to
     complain and think about whatever it is that bothers us when really we should just allow it to be.
     Can you imagine how much easier life could be if you train yourself to simultaneously block out
     anything you don't want to see or hear? You would save yourself from so much time and stress.

3. Just be nice to people- if you think about it, it's so much easier to be nice to others than to be mean (even if you don't like somebody). Why?
          1. You feel good about being nice
          2. You won't make enemies
          3. If someone has a problem with you, then it's because they have a problem. You never did 
              anything to hurt their feelings. Their feelings had been hurt by someone or something else. 
              You don't need to worry or feel bad about something you didn't do. 
If you really can't stand somebody, then just simply don't be mean or nice to that person (#2- simply don't pay them any attention). 

4. Never kill yourself trying- If something is meant to be, then it will be. Just do what needs to be done and try your best. If you're doing everything in your power to achieve something and you're just not getting what you want, then all you can do is simply continue trying your best. Being the stubborn- if you mess with the bull, you get the horns- type of person, I have a hard time accepting the fact that I can't have or do everything I want. At a certain point in my life, however, I realized that I can't drive myself crazy. All I can do is everything in my power that can lead to my success. BUT, I thought to myself that if I stop pushing myself so hard, then I won't active anything. I concluded that life is about being happy and overcoming difficulties. So, I continue trying my best and working on myself, making sure that I enjoy every day, because in the end I don't want to remember my life being spent killing myself trying, but rather spent actually enjoying my life. 

5. Remember that it's ok to not always be perfect- Again, I'm more of the mess-with-the-bull-get-the-horns type of person. I hate taking no as an answer and not achieving something that I feel I work hard for. I used to be the type of person who would strive for perfection, but now know that it's ok to not always be perfect because humans are simply not meant to be perfect all the time. Again, life is about learning and working on yourself. It's not healthy to put so much pressure on yourself. Just try your best and keep working on yourself. 

Study Tip - Keep Yourself inspired and Motivated

When studying or working, it is always good to keep yourself motivated! 

Here is a picture of a wall in my bedroom, right next to my desk where I do my homework. 

I use this wall to hang up anything that inspires and motivates me, and reminds me of my goals. 

My wall might be able to give you some good ideas about what to post:

Here I have a picture of some model from some magazine. I just thought that she was pretty and liked her dress, so I decided to post it. 

Then i have a photo of Ivanka Trump, who I consider successful, pretty, and very poised. 

To the left of that, I have a couple of sticky notes:

     The first one is a list of things that I have achieved and overcome in the past couple of years- to remind me that I am capable of overcoming anything I wish to overcome.

     Second note says to "focus on the present," "Live in this moent," and "Smile to get happy."

     Third and fourth notes are some study tips.

Below the notes there is a paper that I printed from the computer about an honors program- I keep it there as a reminder to apply for it. 

Now onto the right wall . . .

I have a "Happy birthday" banner that my siblings made for me, an article about a Nobel Prize Winner who was considered stupid as a child, 2 more sticky notes with inspirational quotes, a note with some information that i would like to remember from a book that I read earlier this year, 2  kind letters from 2 people who are close to me, a picture of Glenn beck and the 7 wonders he wrote about in his book, a piece of paper on which I wrote "The Key to Happiness"- some information I learned about from a documentary, and my favorite quote from my favorite movie Meet The Robinsons - "Just Keep Moving Forward."

So now go make your own wall! You can include pictures of your heartthrob or your family, your favorite poem, items that remind you of a moment of happiness, or whatever else you choose!

Let me know what you think!

Something You Should Know About Books

As a kid, I was not much of a reader. Most people I knew were not really very into reading and considered it a chore most of the time. 

It was my freshman year of high school when I discovered a love for books and reading. Now, I do not mean teen drama and science fiction type books. Most people feel interested by these genres. I am referring to books about real life: history, philosophy, politics, psychology, etc. 

There was an assembly at my school about a political debate occurring in another area of the world. Although I had heard about this debate many times and it affected me personally, I still did not know the history of the conflict or even what exactly it was all about. The speaker asked the students questions, hoping that somebody knew enough to answer. Out of about 100 kids in that room, only one student was able to answer his questions. That student happened to be sitting next to me. The shame that I had felt at that moment had left me both surprised at my lack of knowledge and upset at myself for not having educated myself earlier. That tremendous shame and embarrassment had been the drive that started my reading books about the political conflict.

However, as I was educating myself about this topic, I realized that books contain answers. Not just answers to history and political questions, but answers about virtually anything. After learning this, I would sit for hours on weekends and even in school reading. I would read books about social psychology, histories of different countries, literature that I found interesting . . . you name it! 

I realized that information that people spend a lifetime gathering, I can just read in a couple of days or weeks, depending on how interested I am. The world is open to me. I don't have to look for answers on my own. Rather, I can just pick up a few couple of hundred pages and find the answers right in front of me. 

The knowledge that I had gained from reading made me the type of person who was knowledgable about a wide scope of topics. I could now listen to a conversation about the government and understand  political terms, or I could notice soothing about the world that I read in some book. My eyes were opened up and I was opening up others' eyes by telling hoers about cool stuff that I learned through reading the right books. 

I understand, however, why you still may not be encouraged to pick up a book. Maybe there was nothing you ever really wanted to know about, or maybe you don't have a bunch of questions that you think about continuously. Nonetheless, by reading a book, you will open up a whole different world-the past, future, another's mindset and philosophy of the world, etc. 

So go pick up a book that you think you may find interesting and with the mindset that you want to learn something. Everything can change. 

Make Sure that you Do Not Do This!!!

Humans naturally rate themselves based on how others see them. If others look at us a certain way, there must be something wrong. If people reacted negatively, they must have reacted that way because we said or did something unacceptable or "not normal."

Just earlier this year, I had come to the realization, though I may have a bit slowly, that determining if we are "right" or "proper" as individuals based on others' views, is not only foolish and self-destructive, but also completely lacks any logical reasoning whatsoever. 

First off- people are unstable. We all know this. We all have good and bad days, days we are the social butterflies, and days we want to be alone. I realized that whenever I would have a nice conversation with somebody right before the end of the school day, I would feel really happy and accepted, but when I would not have a conversation or have someone smile at me, I would feel as if I had a "bad" day. However, maybe the other person just did not feel like talking (maybe even it was I who wasn't in the mood to strike up a conversation) or didn't even think to have a conversation. Basically, I would rate myself and my day based upon how others acted towards me (or maybe not even towards me, I just took their not speaking to me or coming up to me personally). Well, in case this sounds like you too, stop doing this to yourself. People are people, which leads me to my next point.

We all know we do it too. We all have those moments when we just don't feel like being social or smiling. Now imagine having someone feel sad when you don't smile at them or say hi to them. You would just think that they have an insecurity issue or something of the sort. However, we people tend to feel sensitive towards others actions. Now that we realize how silly it really is, let's stop. 

Last point: who cares? Really. I am not trying to be one of those "I don't care about anything, just want to be mature" people, but logically- why determine how to act based on others' perceptions. Just as long as you are friendly and an overall "good" person, you're fine. 

So now . . .

1. Realize that all people are different.

2. Realize that you are not the girl giving you a strange look, or the girl who you think is weird. You enjoy different things, have had different experiences, and are clearly . . . well . . . different. 

3. Understand that it is OK to be who and how you want to be. 

4. Accept yourself and accept others.

5. Do what you feel is right. Nobody likes when people try too hard. Stand your ground, be your own person. 

6.  Don't lower your standards or act a certain way in order to "fit in". Have self-worth and pride. You most probably won't know these people forever, so do what will make you proud of yourself when you look back one day. 

7. Finally, whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy. 

Love that one. 

Hope I helped!
Thanks!!
Comments are welcome!

How to Get Yourself Focused on Your Dreams so that You Can Just Achieve Them

So . . . I am a dreamer, as I am sure many of you are. When I was younger (4th to 8th grades), I would spend two hours a day on the school bus, every day. One hour in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. During these two hours, I would . . . well . . . dream.

You see, I was a very shy kid. I had started working on overcoming my social anxiety in 7th grade, when I realized that life is all about interacting with other people and that there is no way to escape the interactions that come with day-to-day life. Eventually, however, my mission to overcome shyness had evolved into a mission to become the person I dreamed of being.

This dream of mine had taken me a lot of energy and determination to achieve. Before I could get myself to talk to people, I had to overcome my sensitivity. By sensitivity, I mean crying when somebody gave me a bad look, or not playing with my classmates during recess because I fully believed that all of them did not like me for whatever reasons my little imagination fabricated. So . . . I needed to somehow set my goals straight, make clear to myself what I really wanted to attain. There were a few things that helped me to keep my mission in perspective and part of my everyday life:

1. I made a list. I wrote out a whole bunch of adjectives that I wished to someday exhibit (smart, pretty, funny). I wrote out obvious and unobvious things. I even used people's names (ex: I want to be able to make people laugh like Selena), because I knew that nobody else would ever see this list. I then folded this list, placed it in a glass tube, and dug it in my yard. I decided that I would dig out the letter my senior year of high school, the year that I wished to complete my destination of becoming the person I visualized myself being. Doing this made me want to overcome my fears even more because I set my goal in the form of an object, so to say, and not just in the form of a vision. This also helped me to feel, in a sense, that my dream was "real," waiting for me to just reach it; and that once I reached it, I could just feel proud that I had attained it.

2. I made a dream poster- You may or may not have heard of this idea, but it is definitely practiced. It is a visualization of all of your dreams. Take pictures and words from magazines or wherever else (or draw) that represent your dreams, and paste them onto a poster. Put this poster on your bedroom wall, under your bed, or in your closet. You can hide it so that only you can see it, or you can hang it proud in front of your family somewhere in your house. Super fact- it is better to keep your plans and goals to yourself, because you are more likely to get them done. Telling others what you plan to do, unconsciously makes you feel as if you have already completed those tasks. "Seeing" your dreams helps you to focus on them, and therefore work towards them.

3. I gave myself time to think about my plans- Well, didn't give myself the time, rather had that one hour on the school bus to focus on my goals. Three specific things that I wanted to achieve were to know how to act in different social situations/settings, to be independent and positive about my decisions (straightforward), and to be tough and strong willed as opposed to sensitive. I would imagine myself as the type of person I dreamed of becoming. Doing so would make me want to achieve my goals only more because I would feel happiness and excitement when imagining myself as overcoming my fears and difficulties.

Hopefully you can put these into practice and find them as helpful as I found them!