The Beauty of Life-No Time but the Present

"Peace is the beauty of life, the sunshine, a child's smile, a mother's love, a father's joy... Peace is all these things and more, and more."- Menachem Begin

Learning to appreciate the small things has made all the difference. 

Being surrounded by people from all parts of the world while studying abroad here in Israel has taught me more than I ever thought it could. Perhaps I would learn others' ways of life and that's all great... but I didn't realize how much I would learn about myself. 

I remember several years ago when I had first traveled out of the USA and came to Israel, I was shocked by that cultural experience. I realized how my life and mentality were so different than most others'.  

At this point, having been abroad for 5 months, I have come to understand this difference on a deeper level and actually integrate changes into my life. 

One major idea that has continuously come up enough for me to understand why perhaps in this area my life experience is lacking in a sense even though it may seem that it would be gaining... is how "so much" could cause one to feel like there is actually not really all that much. 

We learned about this concept in one of my classes where we are learning from a book called "The Path of the Just" (מסילת ישרים). This work guides one on the path to the perfection of character. One of the character traits we discussed was alacrity, which is completing tasks eagerly and with excitement. Our destiny is based on who we are and who we are is based on our choices. Therefore, the better we are, the better our destiny. One of the ideas we discussed in relation to this concept, is that we should avoid laziness at all costs and not obsess over things that don't contribute to us becoming our best selves. We should go through life with purpose, passion, and vigor. 

We discussed the importance of taking advantage of the time we have, and the importance of not wasting it on petty things. This concept really spoke to me.

Being one of the several Americans on my program (we have been outnumbered by the Argentinians and other foreigners🙃), I have come to learn just how much America really stands out from the rest of the world. The comforts and luxuries we enjoy are unique to us. The Americans are always used as an example when trying to explain differences in culture. My European friends have even told me about how funny (yes, they think it's funny and even silly) the American mentality is. Everything is focused on comfort and getting things done easily. We like "stuff" and quantity matters. We fill voids with material objects, but there is no real satisfaction. We are definitely the most spoiled of all the rest, and perhaps also the most spiritually bereft. 

Not that there is anything wrong with luxury and comfort, but sometimes it may negatively affect our quality of life without us even realizing it. It may not be intuitive, but then you think about it. We spend so much time aiming for those white picket fences and large homes... that we forget the bigger picture. 

We become slaves to these physical pleasures and forget the value of that which really matters in life. The simple things. The small things. It gets to a point where luxuries become necessities and we only understand this truth when we no longer have it so easy. We become certain people and make certain choices, until one day we realize that perhaps we are doing it all wrong and the destiny we thought we wanted for ourselves is an illusion created by people who themselves aren't happy with theirs. 

You gotta play hard if you want to enjoy the game. Just make sure that the hard work will actually lead you to true joy and self-fulfillment. These dimensions cannot be measured by quantity. Only quality. 

“At the end-point, there is nothing but being, no time but the present.” Akiva Tatz

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In a Nutshell (A Tribute to Amos Oz)

The trains are still running 

The skies are still raining 

The people are still talking 

Nothing has changed 

The times are still set 

The classes are beginning 

They all are still cheering 

Everything is the same

The writers are writing 

The singers are singing 

The ground is still as is the cold winter air 

That same officer is standing at that same corner 

When I first asked him where a certain building was 

3 years ago

The same man is working at the station 

Handing out pamphlets at 6am

I used to run by him on my way to school 

For 2 years

Adults are rushing to work

And children to school

Worrying about something we all have before

My worries are no longer mine 

They belong to the next one in line 

For I have inherited another's 

The process goes on and on 

But for not that long 

We realize one day 

When we are old and grey 

But then it may be too late

To understand this fate 

You have slept far too long 

Perhaps you have done it all wrong

“In a nutshell, the choice is between going through this life awake or in a kind of stupor.”
― Amos Oz, A Tale of Love and Darkness

I read Oz's book, referenced above, about a year ago. It was extremely nostalgic and the emotions he expressed were those I wish I could write down on paper and formulate into coherent words myself. His words are those that people need to hear. 

What I took away from his story was that whether or not you decide to move or to stay, everything is going to remain- for the most part- the same. 

A tribute to Amos oz- Israeli writer, novelist, journalist, and intellectual. December 28, 2018. 

The Last Night, Last Night (On Being at the Kotel on the 8th Night of Chanukah)

There is a woman yelling in my ear. She is trying to communicate with someone over the phone while simultaneously not lose her kid in the crowd of thousands. 

I am standing on a chair and I think I may fall any minute though the rush of excitement and energy in the air makes me want to ignore any ounce of fear I have at the thought of possibly getting injured. 

I hear mumbles coming from the crowd of strangers and also personal interactions. 

My feet ache and I want to go to sleep, though I feel like I could also run a mile. I want to run past every person and place. 

I feel like a contradiction in every sense of the word. I’m awake and exhausted. Ecstatic and sad. So sure of everything, yet confused. I’ve got it all figured out and I’m so painfully overwhelmed.

I am a contradiction. 

Everything is a contradiction and I want the world to freeze, but everyone is moving so fast. Everything is a blur and my thoughts are racing. My emotions are running. 

Jerusalem, Israel

I want everyone to stop so I can stare at them and see the answers written in their eyes. 

Or maybe guess the answers and hope that they’re right so maybe I can feel less guilty. I can feel less guilty because we are all guilty. We are all longing for the same things yet we feel so disconnected. We are all confused in our own and the same ways. We all fall prey to that which we wish we could just let go of and let disappear into non-existence.

I want to make everything quiet and still with a single word. I want to be able to hear a pin drop in this crowd of people. I want to see every detail of every interaction in slow motion. 

And I don’t know why. 

I don’t care about all these details, but my curiosity drives me towards them. I don’t care but I want everyone else to. I want everyone else to see something deeper and brighter and greater. 

I want everyone to see me. 

But I am a shadow in the light. 

I absorb it and hold onto it as tight as I can. Until it slips away, hopefully to someone else. To inspire someone else. To drive someone else. Perhaps that force will cause them to feel the way I feel and see what I see and think what I’m thinking. 

Perhaps we all share this light. 

This light sends a message to this town, this city, this state, country, continent, world, planet. 

Perhaps this light is not just meant for us here. Perhaps it is meant for everyone. 

It sends a ring in my ears and a peace in my mind. A warmth in my heart and a shiver in my spine. 

Then we all dissipate and scatter. We all go our separate ways, but the light is still shining in the place it was lit. I feel it leaving me, throwing me into an alternate universe. A universe of normalcy. I feel myself slowing down and aching spiritually.

Like me, this light is a contradiction. It is a story. Waiting to be heard and trying to find a place in every heart, mind, and soul. 

Perhaps this light is a reflection of me. Perhaps it is a reflection of all of us. A reflection of who we want to be and the visions we have in our minds of who we are becoming. 

And so I conclude in my mind as I lay down to bed: Tell the others. The answers have been found. Share the never-ending wonder and perhaps it will live in you.

Thanksgiving

I am grateful for my fears because they have taught me how to be brave. I am grateful for the opportunities missed because they led me to the ones I have now. I am grateful for when my siblings annoy me because being far away from home I realize how much I miss it. I am grateful for the distance I currently have from my friends (though it’s hard) because it has shown me how privileged I am to have those that will go out of their way to actually call me when we haven’t seen each other in months (and work out the time differences even squeezing me in during your lunch break at work😫). I am grateful for the new friends I’ve made and the home away from home I’ve built here in 🇮🇱. I am grateful for moments of sadness because through those moments I learned what happiness is. I am grateful for my story, my reality, what is yet to come, and even the unknown because it is what makes life so exciting. I used to think I wanted all the answers but now realize it’s searching for them that makes it all worthwhile. I am grateful for being grateful because sometimes it’s harder than it should be❤️ Oh and I’m also grateful for bread though I have a gluten sensitivity and for people who kill bugs for me🙂 Real deal. #shabbatshalom #thanksgiving #grateful

The Power of Prayer

I usually write long blog posts about my experiences, but this is pretty straight to the point and the message is clear. 

I have been trying for months to recover a password to an old google account to which I really need to get access. Since I'm in Israel, my phone doesn’t receive access code messages or calls. In the classes I attend here we learn a lot about the power of prayer, yet I still tend to overlook it for some reason🙈.

Earlier today in class we went over the concept of the power of prayer again, and I decided that I would start to really pray for help getting into my account. At that moment I looked up and said, “G-d, please help me get into this account. It’s so important to me.”

I just tried to log on again and got directed to the recovery page. I put in my American number like I did every other time, and I got in🙌🏼.

Coincidence? I think not. 

Power of prayer, people. 

Shabbat: My Favorite Day of the Week

I would like to share something interesting that I learned in one of my classes this past week🙏🏻. 

Since the Shabbat Project (when people from all over the world celebrate the day of rest together) just passed and the topic of the class had to do with finding balance in life- I feel that discussing Shabbat is fitting👌🏻.

In class we discussed the importance of maintaining a healthy balance between work and rest. Being that I personally struggle with being able to find that healthy balance (I have that typical present-day multi-tasking, being "busy" obsession), I really appreciated the wise perspective my teacher introduced to my frame of mind. 

She presented a simple scenario👀:

A child does something wrong and is told by his parents to stand in the corner. This form of discipline is meant to help the child improve on his character so that the child will have time to reflect on the wrongdoing, and hopefully will come to understand how to behave properly. After the child has stood in the corner for a period of time, expresses an understanding of what was done wrong, and apologizes- the parent tells the child that he can now leave the corner. The child however decides to stay in the corner for another hour. The parent tells the child it is not necessary and that his time in the corner is over. The child insists on staying in the corner for another hour🤔.  

So many times without even realizing it, we tend to trap ourselves in our routines, work, schedules... etc. The above analogy is not to say that work and tasks are punishments... not at all. Having a purpose and role in life is vital to our wellbeing👍🏻. However, it is also vital to ensure that we don't allow these aspects of our lives to take over our lives altogether. 

Life should not revolve around being tied down to our work. It is a popular trend now- being "busy","productive" and multitasking. These things make us feel good... until we get burnout. When we don't allow ourselves to take a break and step back from everything, we are doing ourselves a disservice. We are hurting ourselves, often times unecessarily. 

This is why I appreciate Shabbat. It is my guilt-free day of rest, how I get myself to relax and hold back from doing, doing, doing... like I normally do🤷‍♀️. Turning off all of my electronics and unplugging from the outside world for 25 hours a week. 25 hours for introspection and tranquility. 

All the moreso, in Israel with an amazing group of people!☺️

Shabbat Project 10/26/18
Bet Shemesh, Israel 

Being Aware (Choose Happiness)

“Life requires so many choices... so choose to be happy” 😊 - a random piece of paper that somebody hung on the library wall.

Today I am writing not about how happiness is a choice, but rather about the importance of being aware. 

I know it’s not really all that related to choosing to be happy and so this is a stretch from the opening quote... but I think this is more important for me to write about right now and it’s something new I’ve been trying to do. 

Being aware. 

Like being awake… if not the same thing. 

This has become harder to do. With electronics all over the place... smartphones, high tech watches... it’s hard to disconnect from all of that and just sit and think. Or just to simply sit and notice our surroundings. 

Apparently, some people have an app on their phones that tells them how much time they have spent on their phones that day and how many times they looked at their social media accounts. The statistics I’ve heard are astonishing. Well, at least when I first heard the stats I thought that they were astonishing. 

When I thought about it again I realized that it’s really not surprising at all. These statistics make total sense. Of course, we are spending hours on our phones. The majority of us turn to them when there is even a small moment to sit and reflect, think, ponder, or just be. 

Try this: sit and think for 5 minutes. Just sit and focus on a single thing. 

Can you do it? 

Most people have a hard time doing this. Even just focusing on a single thought for a relatively short period of time. 

If you can’t do that when you are alone, then at least do it when you are with people. Don’t look at your phone while eating with a group of people, spending time with friends and family, on a trip somewhere, or walking down the street (for safety reasons too😝). One of the saddest things I’ve seen and done is allowing quality time with people and myself to slip away from me. I let it slip away from me so easily. I didn’t even put up a fight for what I could easily have. 

Anyway, the point is that we allow ourselves to be unaware of what is going on around us so much of the time because of our focus on things that have nothing to do with the present moment or even with us. 

There is so much beauty in watching the world. There is so much beauty and excitement in getting to see the world through our own personal lenses- our eyes. We have so much opportunity and cannot let it go to waste. 

Try the exercise I mentioned above. Try it over and over and over and over again. 

Until you don't need to try anymore.