Save Yourself From Your Future Regrets!!!

It has been exactly 2 months since I last wrote a blog post, and absolutely nothing is the same. In this short span of time, I have taken 6 courses (most people don't even take this many during a three-month period) and completed a very time-consuming and rather stressful list of pre-reqs for nursing school. This includes immunization shots and a hell of a lot of blood work. The nurse asked me which shoulder she should use for the shot, and I actually had to go over which would be the best option (my upper left arm has already suffered pain from last week's shot and my right antecubital has experienced bruising from blood work). Yes, I did indeed use the anatomical term for the front of my elbow. Thank you summer anatomy physiology course.

This hectic life of mine got me thinking (of course after it was all over with- there was absolutely no time to think/ponder about anything unrelated to nutrition, anatomy physiology or microbiology)- what does all of this mean? The stress, the hours spent studying, all of the many times I had to turn down opportunities to do something fun with my friends (during the freaking summer, which wasn't really much of a break so I won't call it exactly that). I know I need all this stuff for nursing school, and of course I have to go to nursing school because that is the career I chose... yada yada yada...

But when it's all said and done and I'm a nurse and 30 years old or whatever... how will I view all of this? Yes, I will be happy I have a job and obviously that is a major deal, but this commitment means I can't fully commit to other things in my life. It means I'm spending majority of my time doing nursing-related stuff... which means I'll be missing out on other things.

And that scares me.

I have been reading a lot of articles about what 30-year-olds would like to say to their 20-year-old selves, and what things people will regret tremendously in 10 years from now- not because I'm delving into this fear and trying to save myself, but because they've sort of been popping up in emails and on Facebook (is this the universe trying to tell me something?)

The two that I read that I enjoyed:
This and That!

I always love these kinds of reads because they provide a lot of valuable information from people of other walks of life. They provide information that I would not know otherwise. How would I, as a 20-year-old, know what I can do over the next 10 years to lessen the chances of my regretting something major? How could I even know or predict what I may possibly regret? Like letting fear control my decisions, or not giving enough credit to my failures (I wouldn't want only to realize when I am older that failures could've been viewed in a more positive way, or realize that they did indeed end up making me a stronger person). Or maybe not giving enough attention to my friends and not cultivating my friendships (not looking at the busy times in my life- but rather when I actually do have the time and don't take the opportunity to inquire about them). Or that I may regret not reading more? Or that maybe it is actually better to trust people and give them all the trust you got until they give you a reason not to.

Being that I am trying to be a more proactive person, this is one of the major aspects of my life that I am trying to focus more attention towards- making the right decisions AT THE RIGHT TIME.

With the small things too. After reading the part about cultivating relationships, I texted some of my closest friends and wished them good luck with school (or I just texted them something really random/silly, because who wouldn't appreciate that?). I realized that being that friend is important and I should make sure I let them know that I'm thinking of them. Because isn't that how people fall out of friendship? Time apart and not making enough of an effort to get together or see how they're doing? And then people regret not putting in more effort or wish they were still friends with those people? Na, I ain't going that path.

I decided to make a list of things that I want to start doing. Cultivating my relationships is one of them. Spending more time doing things that I KNOW for a FACT I will one day regret not putting more time towards (Youtube videos, blogging). And especially things that I would not have thought of beforehand (the little things that make life simply nicer) like going on more early-morning walks (when the sun just came up and there is fog on the ground and the air is cool and crisp), giving my younger siblings more attention (not that they need it, but I should give them more attention and offer to help with homework even if they won't end up needing it because one day I may look back and feel that maybe I should've spent more time with them when we all lived in the same house. And what better way is there to spend with someone you love, than by helping them?)

I think of all the little things I enjoy now that I might not be able to enjoy in the future. I think of all the things I KNOW I should spend more time towards, but that I don't because "life gets in the way" and "I get caught up doing other things." Well, nothing is worth the place of saving yourself from potentially feeling regretful. Nothing. Because other things can change/be mended, but the past cannot be altered. And time is of the essence. I constantly think this to myself. One can have tons of money, smarts, friends, etc. But if you don't consider the time that you have with all of those things/people, then simply having those things doesn't mean much. If you have the money to go on vacation and friends to hang out with, and don't make time for that vacation or your friends- then what good are they? With time - things come and go. Time is a measurement- a measurement of how much you've grown, how much you've accomplished, etc. Time is also a continuum- once the time is passed or over, there is no getting it back. Take it seriously and don't take it for granted. 

Imagine yourself ten years from now. What do you see?
What have you accomplished?
What do you miss about your past (which is now, because you are just imagining)?
What do you wish you spent more time doing?

Really consider all of these questions. Write down your thoughts. Make your own list.

To a future of much success and happiness.

Reflections on a Moment

I wasn't sure what to name this post because it is so short and not on any single idea. This is really just a thought I have about something that I saw a while ago (and I still remember it because it affected me that much).

Maybe I take little things too seriously or too much to heart. This had absolutely nothing to do with me- it was simply someone's treatment towards another person that I noticed and thought was very interesting. I am unintentionally making this sound dramatic (when it absolutely isn't)!

This is such a small, should-be-insignificant moment.

It was during finals of last semester (I have been that busy that I haven't had time to write this short post since school ended in May).

Anyway, finals time is a very stressful time of the school year. The only comforting thing about this stressful period is that all of your peers are going through the same stress and you all go through it together.

I was standing outside my classroom one day, waiting for the previous class to end. A girl from my class was standing next to me and there were students standing/sitting all along the walls of the hallway.

Suddenly, a random boy started talking to the girl next to me. He was telling her about how stressed he was, and how he wasn't sure how he could get through it.

This was a completely random boy randomly telling a completely random girl he didn't know how he would get through the stressful week.

I stood there confused. It didn't seem like they knew each other, but on the other hand there he was all of a sudden telling her how stressed he was.

The girl just listened to what he had to say. She didn't look at him like he was weird, or confused about why he was telling her this or talking to her. She just listened to him vent to her for a minute before assuring him that he would be OK. He proceeded telling her that he was just very stressed and just wanted the week to be over. She nodded and smiled and then he walked away.

I don't know why this blew me away- maybe because I'm not used to people acting so nonchalantly, or maybe because I myself don't usually randomly talk to strangers. But I don't think that girl did either.

It was just how she was so nice about it- listening to him even though she didn't know him and not acting weirded out- just listening.

I thought how I might have reacted had I had a random person talk to me like that- I probably would've acted confused or somewhat weirded-out.

But I liked how she reacted and that she reacted the way she did- and would like to be that accepting of others.

It would be cool if people would be that chill more often.

And that's it- really nothing major. That just really hit me for some reason.

The Girl From Italy

Have you ever seen or met somebody and instantly (for no particular reason) felt a deep desire to know more about them? Simple things like what their hobbies are, what music they listen to, why they always sit a certain way, their fears, how many siblings they have . . .

And sometimes you form your own conclusions about that person (maybe because you assume that you will simply never know the answers to those questions, or because you feel that must be the case for that person) based on the (very) little you know about him or her.

I don't often experience this, but when I do --> I get really curious.

This past semester I was taking a writing course called Research in the Disciplines: Exploring Asia. My class had only 10 students including myself. This was one of those classes where every single person-

EVERY.
Including the teacher . . .
Was interesting.

Not in a weird way.
Just . . . interesting.

But this has nothing to do with the point I am trying to get to . . .

There was one girl in particular who for some reason sparked my curiosity. It was her quiet nature- the kind that hinted intellect. It always seemed to me like she was somehow ahead of the game, understanding and noticing things about the world and life that everybody else couldn't grasp- and she couldn't understand why she was the only one able to comprehend seemingly simple things. But it wasn't in a cocky way- it was more so in a disappointed manner as if waiting for somebody to see what she sees.

She intimidated me.
A lot.
And I hated it.

Not simply because I hate feeling intimidated (who does?), but rather because that view of her made me consider that maybe there was indeed something I was missing. I felt intimidated by the fact that she was so much wiser than me (this was all in my head. All I knew about her was that she was majoring in Chinese. She could've been the biggest idiot and how would I know?) and that I couldn't see what she saw.

The only interactions we had were me passing the sign-in sheet to her, for which she would turn her head slightly (she sat directly in front of me) and proofreading each other's papers. She would write her comments on my paper in a very neat and small print. She used the word "perhaps" a lot and I decided to start using that word more often (it makes one sound proper and smart).

Oh, and I couldn't pronounce her first name. Her last name clearly was Italian though.
Cool beans.
Still not the point.

My assumption that she was very smart, was verified by my reading her papers- they were always well-written. This increased my intimidation. Not the point though.

Throughout the majority of the semester, my view of her was such: she was much too smart and mature for the average person. She was nice and friendly, simple and straightforward. She had set viewpoints and equally intellectual friends. Not the type of girl I would be friends with though (I am much too quirky and probably on a drastically different emotional wavelength than her- I am a spaz while she just would (just simply would) do things properly the first time and wonder why other people can't just get their act together).

Last week, on one of the last days of class- we had to get into pairs of two to discuss our presentations for our papers. Through facial expression, she asked if I wanted to work with her and I responded in the same manner.

She sat down next to me and asked with wide eyes, "do you know how you're presenting your paper? She (the teacher) makes it sound as if it's so simple, but it's not," she continued. "I'm not good at public speaking."

It was interesting to me that she would reveal her weakness. I had created her personality so much in my head. I knew I needed to stop doing this.

As we finished our discussion and she shifted her body away from me, I wanted to continue the conversation.

I don't remember exactly what I said, but we ended up getting to the topic of school almost being over. She was so excited, it was almost as if she was a different person. She never showed emotions like that before.

I learned so much about her in the next several minutes during our conversation. She was talking so much.

She was only a junior but was graduating a year early. She was in the middle of applying to graduate programs. She was so excited to go home . . . she spent her past two summers working in New York while living on campus . . . she hadn't been home in three years . . .

She was from  . . .

Italy.

"I'm sorry- what? You're from Italy did you say?" I asked confused. "As in, like, you were born and raised there? As in, you were in the states for just three years and your real life (family and home) are in Italy?"

This hit me hard and I couldn't understand why.
I was so enthralled by the fact she was from Italy- a different world I know nothing about- that I actually continued to sit in my seat after class and everyone else had left, and sort of just thought about it- about the fact that her life is so different from mine, her childhood was so different, the place she calls home, the culture she was raised in . . .

And I began to think about all the ways she must view life, people, and basically everything differently than how I view those things. I began to think about how in several weeks she will return to Italy and I will remain in New Jersey. I began to think about everything she mentioned in those past several minutes- how in Italy families eat dinner together always, how she feels guilty when not eating dinner with her family, specifically on Sunday nights . . . and I began to think about all the things that I truly must not know and understand that she knows and understands because she lives in Italy. Maybe there are many things that the culture there does right, that the people do correctly, that I am missing out on because my American life and culture do not care for those things that maybe they should . . .

I came back to my dorm room in a haze, still enwrapped in this idea. I told my roommate about these thoughts- and even the next day to my other best friend. I was obsessed with the idea of actually looking up different cultural practices in different countries, and trying them out- just to see what I was missing (or if I was missing anything at all). Maybe those practices and perspectives and beliefs of other places, resulting in a better quality of life.

So this is what I have decided to do.

 . . .

Maybe it seems that it was pointless for me to go through the details of my encounter with the girl from Italy, but if not for that 3-month long thought process, I do not think I would've come to such a major realization (or at least felt the same way about it).

She will never know the effect that she has had on me (and will continue to have). I do not think I will ever forget her. I will be 70 years old and wonder what happened to the girl from Italy.

Video Journal 2- Being Perfectly Insignificant

What does it mean to be special? Famous? Extraordinarily smart? Talented? What if a person is none of those things? Does that mean they aren't special?
Whenever I go to places where there are a lot of people, I think about this. There are so many people, all with their own dreams and aspirations. Not everybody gets to make it. So, what does it mean for those who don't?

Music:
Mike Posner I Took A Pill In Ibiza SeeB Remix
Christina Perri Jar of Hearts
Christina Perri A Thousand Years
Jason Mraz I Won't Give Up
Bruno Mars When I Was Your Man

Mission to Texas + Donald Trump - Video Journal 1 - To Do Or Not To Do

I do not want to call this a vlog, because I am not interested in sharing a random day in my life. This is the beginning of a new series I am starting: Journals. I each journal I will explore a different topic, thought, and inspiration. 

Because I have been so busy lately and don't have as much time to blog (also due to the fact that I want to devote more time to making videos), I decided to share my thoughts through a video. Sometimes showing is better than explaining. 

Sophomore year spring break. 10 days. 3 states. 

What is better? To be busy and constantly go from experience to experience, or to live the mellow life?
I explore this idea and come up with a personal conclusion. While I love to spend time at home with my family and have a stress-free week of having nowhere to be, I also have a desire to experience more- to travel, try new things, meet new people. For spring break I must choose one- stay at home for the week and do nothing particularly special, or spend my whole week traveling.
I share what I saw, experienced, and learned- all the while keeping in mind that life is meant to be lived.

Music:
Karaoke No Church in the Wild by Kanye West and JAY Z (ft Frank ocean)
Karaoke I Took a Pill in Ibiza by Mike Posner 

10 Situations That Anybody And Everybody Can Relate To (View For Proof)

Today I wrote a post on Buzzfeed!!

You can’t be human if you haven’t experienced at least one, if not all, of these things. No worries, gifs are included!

View it HERE!

A Response to a Friend Regarding Overcoming Anxiety

A friend of mine messaged me the other day to ask for my advice. This blog post is based off of my response to her. 

"I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time. I feel like I work a lot and it's like, where's my credit?" she wrote to me. 


For those of you who are not familiar with this blog, I write a lot about how I overcame anxiety. Topics I cover include how to de-stress, socializing checklist, getting yourself motivated and dealing with stress, dealing with stress in school, quick fixes to anxiety, dealing with negative emotions, and enjoying it all.  
I also have a step-by-step anxiety workshop. 
If you want to read about my background with overcoming anxiety, you can find it here. 

I felt very passionate about responding to her, because I know exactly how she feels. 

Side note- I interchangeably use anxiety and stress because I feel that both words can be used in this context, which is ultimately describing an idea that bot stress and anxiety are found. 

First, I explained to her the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety. Anxiety is a form of stress, which has positive and negative effects on us. Healthy anxiety is the anxiety we experience when studying for an exam, stopping ourselves from doing something dangerous, and feel overwhelmed about balancing our hectic lives. It helps us to focus, stay motivated, and thoroughly think through major decisions that we have to make. Unhealthy anxiety is when our healthy anxiety gets out of bounds. It may take the form of procrastination, an abnormal amount of fear experienced on a regular basis (it becomes the norm to feel fear, even when there is nothing specific inducing it- like an exam or presentation), or the feeling of being "paralyzed" (in the sense of not being able to make a decision, or feeling like you can't dig yourself out of a pit). 

So before you start diagnosing yourself, make sure you have something to be worried about. Don't try to fight off the healthy anxiety- this is your body telling you that it's supporting you through stressful times and it's helping you muster up the strength to succeed. 

This also leads me to my second point. A lot of times when someone is trying to explain to me how his/her anxiety makes him/her feel, s/he will tell me that s/he often feels depressed. 
Let us make a distinction between being depressed and being sad/unhappy. 

Depression is when someone feels consistently sad, even when there is no trigger for feeling sad. On the other hand, sadness is felt in response to a trigger- not doing well on an exam, losing somebody you love, or simply having a bad day. Feeling sad may go hand-in-hand with anxiety for some people. In my friends case, she starts to feel a deep unhappiness when she experiences a great amount of anxiety. However, this does not make her depressed. She is a happy, social person who (understandably) feels sad when she feels anxious. 

So . . .

Point 1: Treat stress like your friend. Understand that it is helping you, not trying to overcome you. Side note- Studies actually show that people who think of stress as negative, ar more likely to die earlier. Those who think of stress as positive and understand that it is their body helping them succeed, live longer, healthier, and happier lives. 

Point 2: Nothing is worth your health. NOTHING. 
Believe it or not, stress directly affects our health. Like I wrote above, stress has the ability to shorten lives. It was actually while writing this blog post the other day (I am finishing it now) while sitting in my public health course, that my professor told the class about how several years ago he had been diagnosed with cancer and with only 6 months left to live. By changing his lifestyle, he was able to defy the expected. He wrote the word "stress" in big letter on the board. "Don't let it get out of hand." A girl then raised her hand and said that through changing her lifestyle she was able to get rid of hyperthyroidism that she was diagnosed with several years earlier. These are only two instances and there were definitely other factors that played into their outcomes, but science shows that stress can have extremely negative effects, and that learning to control it can change your future for the better. 

Point 3: It takes time.
Now I am really responding to her initial message. She was upset that the techniques I told her to use a few weeks ago, were not helping. My advice to her was to give it time. I didn't wake up one morning and notice that I didn't feel the usual anxiety I felt for no real reason. There were so many experiences I had to live through in order to overcome it.  Looking back, it did sometimes feel like it was taking forever to start leading a happier life, but I now know that if not for all that time it took, I wouldn't be as strong as I am now. There were techniques and lessons that I could only learn in the time to come. If my change was drastic, I probably would've bounced back to my anxiety-stricken life because I didn't really have the skills and experience to cope with situations that brought me anxiety, and to thoroughly get rid of the chronic anxiety that had been interfering wth my life. So if anything, be happy that you have the time to deal with it. I know this sounds stupid, but seriously (and really, I mean seriously) overcoming it and watching yourself grow is one of the best parts of it all. And then when you have experiences in the future that remind you of just how much you were able to work on yourself, you will feel a unique happiness that many other people wouldn't understand. Now that I am in this stage of my life, I realize that I feel happy about small things and appreciate friends and life more, because I know what its like to not be able to make friends or enjoy life fully because of the constant anxiety that was penetrating my life. 

Thanks for reading. I hope this helps.