How to be happy despite conflicts and struggles | from a psychiatrist

Currently reading Let Us Make Man by Psychiatrist Dr. Abrahama Twersky.

He makes several points about self-esteem and happiness that really expanded my views on these topics.

Happiness can exist without 100% contentment
We are never going to be fully content. As humans, that is not natural. We are always striving for more and better.
We can be striving and not fully satisfied YET happy at the same time.
Happiness can coexist with discontent.
It allowed me to feel I have the permission and ability to not have everything I want/need and still be happy. 
Sometimes I feel that I need to work harder to earn that happiness, but this reminds it is natural to want more, yet should not confine ourselves to only allowing ourselves to feel happy when we attain that said thing.

We don't always know the meaning that things have.
As humans, we have limited capacity to understand things on a higher level. That is, limited perspective. We see things happening to us on only one level and from one angle. We don't know what it could mean for us in the future and why those things happen. Ever have something seemingly negative happen and then you realize later on that it had a higher place and purpose in your life?

It's good to have faith
If not in G-d or higher power or force... then in the idea that there are things happening that we could not possibly understand how it could be good in any way.
Related to the topic above: there could be something beyond har we see, know and comprehend. 
Trust that your suffering or challenges are not in vain, that there is some transcendental purpose. While it does not remove the pain or answer why these things happen to us, it can give us the courage and strength to deal with tragedy and struggles.

Accepting adversity with happiness 
Accepting adversity with happiness in the sense of faith and trust allows us to feel joy from other events in life that warrant true joy. 

Accept that conflict is natural and so choose to be happy despite it 
We are so obsessed with resolving conflict, that we forget that we can still be happy despite it. We instead must learn to cope with it and overcome it. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

How To Let Go Of Your Expectations | Bliss Through Mindfulness

I am working through a mindfulness workbook by Tessa Watt. 

One point she mentioned in her book is the concept of letting go of goal setting and the constant seeking of results. While it's natural to look for a result, but necessary to take a break from that way of thinking in order to find your peace. 

You can still incorporate these ideas into your life even if you're not yet practicing mindfulness.

Watch my latest video here! 

In my latest video I discuss:

• Why we need to suspend our judgment about ourselves and the things we don't like- you can't be judgmental and accepting at the same time. You must not judge the fact that you are in the non-striving and non-doing phase... stop judging yourself for that and accept where you are in the moment 

• How it's all about slow progress and retraining our habits and thought patterns- we don't always see those major shifts at the moment as they are occurring... they show up over time

• Realizing and being aware of what triggers our anxiety and a one minute practice that can help you cope in those moments- learning how to calm down and cope 

• Accepting where we are and who we are right now, although we are striving for greater- it's important to appreciate the here and now, and not be constantly thinking about what's coming next

• Letting go of the "constant doing" mentality- all my fellow busy bees need to hear this 

• How acceptance can open us to new opportunities and possibilities, and even allow for positive change 

• Learning to give up control- even though it can be scary, learning to give up control will make you a happier and healthier person 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory 

4 Steps to Overcoming Your Fears | Chronic Anxiety to LOVING Life

I talk a lot about fear and anxiety that I have overcome. 

I want to share with you how I have overcome my fears so well, that I am doing things today that I could have only dreamed about 10 years ago.  

Overcoming fears takes a lot of energy and you have to be intentional because it is unlikely that you will overcome them if you don't try to. 

Sometimes we grow out of our fears but here I am talking about those ideas and beliefs that you have ingrained in you and may be causing issues for you as you grow older. 

Watch the Youtube video here

Also, you want to face the root of your issues because once you do, you understand why you have other struggles. Overcoming my core fears and understanding how they have affected me has allowed me to lead an overall healthier and more fulfilling life. 

#1: Become aware of your fears

You need clarity when it comes to understanding your psychology. Take time to be with yourself and reflect. 

Write them down. list them out. 

#2: Meditate on how developed and from where they come

Think about your childhood, thought patterns, how you were raised, etc. 

Clarity comes through reflection.

Try to think back to when those fears or unhealthy thoughts started. What is your first memory of your fear?

Through thinking about it all you can come to understand your own psychology and how things played out in your life. 

You can pick up on things you didn't before. 

#3: List out how they help you and how they hinder you  

Realize the roles they play in your life. 

Ex: fear of not being perfect hinders me because it overwhelms me with the idea that if I'm not perfect then I'm not enough which leads into a self-esteem issue and lack of self-worth. It helps me because it motivates me to be involved, active and get more done.  

#4: Run towards them, put yourself in situations where you face your fears

Fear is a mechanism for survival.

Do not avoid your fears, embrace them. 

Use it to your advantage to propel you forward.

You can even try to work backwards- starting from where you want to be and thinking about what you would need to do to get there/that. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

How To Let Things Go For Good | Brain Hack

Ready to move on from something or someone, but need a way to process for much-needed clarity and closure?
I have a technique I use that always makes a huge difference. 
Watch my youtube video here to hear it :) 

4 Ways to Deal With Sensitivity | Difficult People

We all deal with being sensitive on some level. Or maybe if we aren't so sensitive, but we still have our moments.

Other times, we aren't just being sensitive. People can be mean and we have to learn how to properly deal with those who are emotionally underdeveloped. 

To watch the video, go here!

Sensitivity is something I had to overcome at a young age. As a child, I was the one who was always upset. Also having been extremely shy and socially anxious, I was always afraid someone would say something hurtful and expected that people would. 

That, as you can imagine, caused many issues for me. I had to learn to overcome that strong emotion and realize that many (if not most or all of the time) these feelings were not necessary. 

There were several things I had to come to understand, and I am still learning about how to be more emotionally healthy all the time. Here are some things you can refer to when you need to step back and recalibrate:

1. Realize that not everything is about you.

The way a person behaves, speaks, what they say and how they say it (even when interacting with you) have nothing to do with you. Most of the time we don't know what is going on in another person's life. Maybe they just lost someone, maybe they're just insecure, maybe they just had a bad interaction with someone else and that's why they're acting rude and cold towards you. Maybe they are sensitive and afraid, and so have built a wall to show that they aren't. The way another person presents themself to you has nothing to do with you. 

2. Building up resilience is always important because there will be times when people are nasty. 

This is the type of advice that mothers give their kids when they're being bullied at school. However, as I get older, I have come to realize that bullying can happen anywhere at any step in the game. In the workplace, especially. It is sad that this is how it is, and it really is unacceptable... but it's inevitable that at some point we will have to overcome the emotions that come with being hurt. Therefore, it is wise for us to arm ourselves with resilience and to prepare ourselves to deal with other people's inabilities to cope with their own emotions. 

"Hurting people hurt people." Ever heard of this? It's so insanely true. Happy people do not go around making other people miserable. Think about it: when you're in a good mood, you have no desire to hurt others. You don't need that validation that you have that kind of power over people, and no need to make somebody feel bad about themselves. 

Some of my other points are referring to when we are being overly-sensitive, but this point is really for everybody. We must learn to bounce back from feeling hurt, afraid of rejection, and disappointment in others for how they behave towards us. 

3. We cannot control others, we can only control ourselves. 

You cannot determine what other people will say or feel about you. You can only control how you choose to respond. Yes... you can choose how you will respond even when you're feeling angry, hurt, and bitter. 
When you do find yourself in a situation like this, make sure to step back and take some deep breaths. Realize that you're trying your best and are not a bad person. Your feelings are valid and you are not deserving of ill-treatment. Remember that your goals are to focus on yourself and that the only validation you truly need is from yourself. Remember that there is no reason to stoop to that person's level. You are better than that. You are amazing. Amazing people don't need to put others down. 

3. Stay in your lane, focus on yourself (you deserve to).

You don't need to spend time recalling what other people said or did to you (though this is challenging sometimes). You have an amazing life that you're continuing to create and build. Put your energy on that. Focus your energy and attention on the positive aspects of whats going on around/to you. Don't give hurting people the right to make you feel hurt. 
Get back to focusing on yourself, your goals, mission, dreams...
Don't give rude people space in your mind. 
Don't let others live rent-free in your brain. 

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

The #1 Way To Express Love

My family and I took a 2 and half week trip to Russia!! (This will require a separate blog post).

On the flight home, I was seated next to my parents. The flight attendants came around to offer us drinks.  My mom had been waiting for a while to drink some tea- her favorite (she drinks about 10 cups a day, no joke). My dad, who had been sleeping, suddenly woke up and said he would like some tea as well. My mom, who didn't even get to take a sip of the tea that she had been waiting forgave him her tea. She insisted that he take it and that was that.

That was love in its most beautiful form.

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes #journeyoflife #selflove #selfimprovement #goalsetting #dreambigworkhard #letsdothis💪 #herewego #bossbabe #personaldevelopment #growthmindset🌱 #happyandhealthy #ilovemyself #ilovelife #thegoodquote #mytimetoshine #betterme #bettermemission #icanachieveanything #iamawinner #lewishowes #womenempowerment #womensupportingwomen #womenofimpact #impacttheory

WHY I Stopped Watching TV!!| Careful With What I Consume| Alternative Enterntainment

I don't even know how to use one 😂

I know, may sound pathetic and maybe even stupid.

But I have no FOMO when people are talking about their favorite shows and the "funny" or "cool" stuff they see on TV.

I wasn't ever really much of a "binger" anyway. Let alone even watching tv regularly. Last time I watched a series it was Game of Thrones and I honestly think that show scarred me🤣😕

Watcht the youtube video here.

Please don't think I'm looking down at those who love TV or who gain a lot from it. This is for those of you who need a healthy separation from TV/shows/movies (you know who you are) and/or just want to not want to watch TV and need some more inspiration/ideas to step back.

I also want to clarify that I do still watch TV and movies, though it is rare and I am very careful with what I consume. In general, I think it's a good idea to be selective when it comes to what you consume, whether it be food, content, and time with people. Everything effects your energy- protect it. 

Here are the reasons I stopped watching TV and why I am SO SO SO happy that I don't:

1. Why am I watching other people lead fake lives instead of living my own and making my own life my dream life? This thought always gnawed at me. It was in high school when I really stopped caring about tv shows. If I did watch any, it was on youtube and they were the old-school ones like Even Stevens and That's So Raven (still love them and I'm in my mid-twenties lol). They're funny, more relatable, not overwhelming or showing content that will make me feel like the world might come to an end, and are awesome throwbacks.

Also, I was just too busy (in a good way) getting my own stuff done.

Breaks? Consisted of reading, walking, hanging out with friends, working on my passions... LIVING LIFE!! I want to be out here making my dreams come true, working on myself, actually falling in love instead of watching two characters "cry for each other" for whatever made-up reason, making the money so that I can lead a happy lifestyle rather than watch characters on TV go shopping and talk about their (actually🤪) fake friends and over-the-top drama. 

And I am too good for it too. And so are you. We have so much potential and we spend how much time in front of a screen? Include your phone, laptop, etc.

2. What you watch has a real effect on you. This is a big one for me. Maybe because I'm sensitive to violence and other frightening things like war and gory images that even combat servicemen and women actually get PTSD from!! And I'm a nurse, people!! I've seen scary stuff but that's a whole other game!!

Point is: our subconscious is affected by seeing this stuff. The emotions we feel from watching other people die and/or suffer... our brain can't tell the difference between something we think about and something that actually happened (Joe Dispenza, check him out). Again, servicemembers suffer from PTSD and depression from seeing this stuff and we are choosing to watch it?!

Perhaps some people like the thrill, but this all affects me so much so that I still remember some scenes from movies I saw long ago that I wish I could forget. People murdering each other with their hands (so not normal and I just wrote that out like it was nothing), inappropriate content that should be special between two people but is being made into a choreographed dance of explicitness (you wouldn't want your family members up there doing that, but you're perfectly fine watching someone else's).

What are people taking away from these things?
Unrealistic expectations about love and relationships, misunderstanding of what real connection between people actually is, all the dramatic world-coming-to-an-end catastrophic play. 
It's honestly exhausting. 

I've never watched one of those cop shows or the ones where terrorists have taken over... I've seen some parts here and there but quickly feel exhausted just from watching these actors running, screaming, and crying all the time.

Do you think it's healthy for somebody to be watching a show like Game of Thrones that has so much blood, war, and x-rated content? Sure, it may be entertaining. That's what these producers and actors are here for. Why do you think they make so much cha-ching💸? I personally just think it's kind of crazy for people to be consuming content filled with so much reference to violence, death, and the other factors I mentioned.

3. I hate all the hidden messages! Let's face it. TV shows and movies can be/are so political. There are so many hidden messages and ways that producers and writers sneak in their world views on those who consume their content. Maybe I sound like an old fart, but I must say even Disney channel shows have turned to garbage. The old ones were 🥰 but the ones today are all about broken homes, parents too dumb for their own kids, and conformity with political movements which may or may not be a positive thing. Let's not even talk about the inappropriate add-ins. Watching some of these shows with my younger siblings... I get shocked. I don't even want to hear this stuff and this is what their young minds are consuming? 

I want to provide some alternatives for you guys.

1. Get rid of certain channels (or the TV entirely😛). I know y'all think I'm crazy. My parents got rid of our TV when I was in middle school LOL, and it was honestly great. I spent more time on other more valuable things, never had to deal with the struggle of trying to get myself away from the TV, and eventually became this person who doesn't care for it. 

2. Utilize Youtube and/or other forms of entertainment. I spend a lot of time on Youtube watching educational and personal development content (and creating it too here😝). I've probably read the equivalent of 100 books in the amount of content I've consumed about healthy living, personal growth, self-improvement, career development, psychology, science, marketing, business, etc. SO MUCH AMAZING CONTENT that is actually worth my time. Focus on that stuff. You deserve it. Give it to yourself. Allow yourself the time to be your best. And the great thing is that I can listen to them anywhere and anytime.
Books and audiobooks
Music
Making time for a hobby or a side gig
Sending more time with your family
Getting involved in your community
Actually relaxing your tired brain after work and just sitting and drinking tea or that glass of wine you treat yourself to every night. Turn on some relaxing music instead to wind down. Compare this to cop car sirens and explosions in your favorite shows 😅. Allow your brain to actually get a break.
Treating yourself to a nice long bath.
Getting more sleep. A big one! How many of you can say you are guilty of going to bed late because of a show/movie and not getting the recommended (and needed- studies show) 7.5-8 hours of sleep? Actually treat your body and mind to a real gift that it NEEDS- SLEEP!

Act now, thank me later 😉

3. Make a plan for yourself for what you will do instead of watching TV/movies regularly. What will you do on the weekends? ake other plans? Explore the city, watch a documentary, invite some friends over, go to a karaoke bar...
Preferably do this after step 1 🤓

Did I miss anything? What do you guys do to relax or unwind from the day that doesn't involve TV/movies?

#personalgrowth #selfimprovement #successfulpeople #dowhatyoulove #empowerment #lovinglife #overcomeobstacles #herincrediblemindset #innergrowth #newmindset #mindsetshift #growthquotes #millennialtherapist #mentalhealthmatters #intentionalliving #healthyhabits #selfcare #selflove #happylifequotes