One of the courses that I am taking here in Israel during my year abroad is called Love, Marriage, and Relationships.
Now, I am not talking specifically about romantic love or marriage in this blog post. I am referring to relationships in general. Relationships with friends, family, and really whoever else with whom you may spend a decent amount of time.
It wasn't until I entered this new environment here in this country, and began living with a bunch of new people...that I realized how important it is to be flexible and patient with those with whom you surround yourself.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's obvious that everyone is different. We all have different experiences, were raised differently, have different expectations, values, cultures (a big one), and goals.
However, is it not true that all people tend to forget this simple truth all the time!?
Think of how many times a friend or someone you care about or someone you know has acted in a manner that confused you or made you upset. Think about all of the times you may have acted a certain way or said something with absolute innocence...yet someone else misunderstood you or your motives.
These types of things happen more often than we would think it would happen.
What made me realize this truth was an experience I had here with a friend.
We both come from different backgrounds and have major differences alongside our similarities.
When I was first getting to know her, I honestly could not tell how I felt about her. She seemed really nice, but also sometimes could act somewhat cold. Then one night when I was out late, she called me to make sure that I was okay. She was worried about me because I had not had a chance to respond to her previous text asking me if I was alright.
I realized that her way of expressing that she cares about me and others is by worrying.
She may not always act warm, but when it gets down to something that could possibly be serious- she takes initiative. She shows that she cares.
Although she may act cold and disconnected sometimes, that's just what she is used to. That part of her has to do with her experiences and history. She showed she truly cares about me and loves me as a friend, by worrying about me when I didn't respond.
This experience reminded me that it is important to remember and understand that just because someone doesn't respond to me a certain way or treat me a certain way, that does not always mean that they do not care about me or love me.
Just as I have a certain way of showing people I care about them- others have their own ways of showing they care.
Of course, this concept works slightly differently if you are looking for someone with whom to spend the rest of your life... or if you are looking for someone who fits into a certain description. However, for everyday general life, I feel that this is a good rule of thumb.
I know that this lesson will help me with my future relationships. It will remind me to have patience and understanding for other people, just as I require patience and understanding.
To happy and healthy relationships,
Deb 💕