Not only does it take me forever to decide what I'm going to order at a restaurant, but I also slip up on long-term goals that I make for myself because I tend to cave into decisions that give me the easier way out.
I am writing on this topic because I think this is something many people can relate to. For a while, I have been wondering how I can get myself to stick to my goals and plans. The more challenging ones, that is. The ones that make the difference between who I am and who I would like to be more of.
I think it is safe to say that we all have things we would like to change about ourselves. Maybe they are small things- but they are important nonetheless. The problem is that even when it is so easy to decide what we would rather have, sometimes taking the steps toward those changes are so hard. We know we should do or not do something, but we just can't control ourselves.
I'll use the best example in my case.
Food.
For a while now, I have been trying to change my eating habits. Though I have improved a lot, I am still not where I would like to be. I am not where I know I could be. I know that if I just follow a healthier diet along with my workout regimen, I would be so much closer to my goals. I work out so much, but it doesn't really matter if I can't eat the way one needs to if they want the results that I want. I'm not asking myself to do anything impossible- but rather just to make the right decisions. I am asking myself to not half-ass my goals. I am asking myself to take things more seriously and to be more disciplined. It's been a while now since I set these goals and all I see is my efforts going to waste because I can't ignore my desire to eat foods I shouldn't be eating (at least most of the time). But still- with this type of goal, you have to be consistent and follow the science. I know that I just have to follow the rules.
I realized that everything was just a cycle. I make a mistake, feel upset, tell myself it's OK to make a mistake, I make the mistake again, I feel the same way.... and feel like I'll never be able to break my cycle.
I was tired of feeling unhappy with the fact that I couldn't take the reigns of my own happiness (in this context). I was tired of thinking that I couldn't control my own fate. I wanted to feel and look a certain way... and when would this actually happen? If I can't make it happen now, when will I ever be able to make it happen?
I realized that this made me really unhappy.
So the next time I came to the same fork in the road... I asked myself what would make me feel good.
How will you feel after you make the decision you know you shouldn't?
How will you feel after you make the decision you know you should?
And I made the right decision. And I felt good about it. And then I continued using this tactic to make my decisions. I started using this in every aspect of my life.
What will make me feel good?
And I go with whatever will make me feel good.
I'm not talking about short-term "good".
I am referring to the type of feel good that we will look back on and be happy we made that decision. What will make me feel good in three minutes or three hours or one year from now? What do I honestly think will make me a happier, better person?
I believe we all truly know what makes us feel good. Sometimes we make decisions because we want something to make us feel good- we want to believe it will. But what's even better than that is being honest with ourselves and allowing ourselves to follow the truth even if it's hard. That says a lot about your character.
So next time you need to make a decision, ask yourself-
What will make you feel good?