These are some things that I like to keep in mind when I go to social events or even just when I am talking to people:
1. Smile- of course this is number one!! Smiling is an invitation for others to approach, and expresses that you are open to meeting new people. Not only will smiling help to attract others, but it will also make you feel more comfortable. Even in an awkward situation, smiling can make you and the other person feel like you are still on good terms.
Note- However, do not smile too much. It is not necessary to continuously smile just to show that you are happy to be speaking to the person. Sometimes it is better to just listen and keep making eye contact.
2. Make eye contact- so many times I notice others quickly glancing, smiling, and then looking away. This kind of eye contact will not give you a good connection with another person, and will make it seem that you are insecure and\or are not interested in the other person. Making eye contact for at least two seconds shows confidence and interest.
Note- Make sure to smile lightly while making eye contact. Not smiling will give the other person the opposite message. Also, don't stare. While talking to the person, it is alright to look to the side of the person to formulate thoughts. Just make sure to not be looking to the ground or above the person's head, or constantly to the person's side. I've seen all three cases . . . you do not want to make these mistakes!
3. Slow down- a lot of people like to talk quickly and run to people so that they could quickly hug them and say something to make themselves seem super interested and excited. If you are not meeting with your friends, but acquaintances (people that you're supposed to be excited about or hug), slowing down can give you time to think of what to say and how to act in the social situation. Give a big sincere smile, slowly come up to the person, and give them a fair-lengthed hug. Talk slowly, rather than, "oh my gosh! How are you? It's so nice to see! I haven't seen you in so long! How is everything ?"
When I say slowly, I don't mean creepy slowly, like you're being fake, but just slow enough that you're walking towards the person and speaking in a regular paced- tone.
Other situations in which acting slowly can make you seem more confident are when someone calls your name and you have to turn around to see him or her, when walking in the school hallway or anywhere else where there are many people, and . . .well . . . always, basically.
4. Speak to the other person with the intent of learning something- every person is a book with a story. If you have sincere interest in learning something from\ about everybody, conversing with other people will be more interesting and easy. Don't ask too many questions, but just enough to keep the conversation flowing. Also, don't just ask for the sake of asking. Ask questions that actually interest you- you can always find something!
5. Don't be afraid to use your sense of humor- just be yourself, don't try too hard to be funny. Say light jokes, not ones that might be offensive or may not be understandable to the specific person with whom you are speaking.
I hope these help! I will add new pointers if I think of any more!
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