A little act of kindness can go a longer way than you think

The other day I went for a walk with my mom. There was finally nice weather, so we decided to take advantage and walk a couple of miles. We parked our car at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and walked over to my sister’s school down the road. I graduated from the high school almost exactly four years ago. At this time, soon graduating from college, it was interesting for me to be back.

As we were walking toward the school, I noticed that some of the buses had already started to line up by the front. As we walked toward the school, I remembered that my bus was always the first one in the line of buses. I noticed a bus was standing in the exact same location as the bus I used to take. I mentioned to my mom that it may be the same bus driver from four years ago. As we walked by the bus, my mom and I smiled and waved to the driver, who kindly smiled and waved back at us.

Now you may be wondering why I would have any interest whatsoever saying hi to my bus driver from four years ago. I mean, it would be nice... but like that was four years ago and he has had many students before... so what does it matter to me?

Four years ago as a senior, I had an assignment for one of my classes. Every student had to do four nice things for four different people. This seemed like a nice idea... except we had to get signatures for the acts of kindness. I thought about who I should give my last gift to, and it wasn’t hard for me to decide to give it to my bus driver. He was always very nice and smiled every morning when I came onto the bus. He was a very quiet man but I noticed that he always made sure to say good morning to me. Just that simple gesture in the morning meant a lot to me, and so I figured my saying good morning to him every morning meant a lot to him as well.

So on one of my last days of school, right before getting off the bus, I made sure to hand him my gift. It was a chocolate bar with a letter attached to it that said, “thank you for all you do! I hope you have a nice day!”

I was not expecting his reaction. His face lit up as he looked up at me and shocked, asked, “this is for me?” He was so touched and thanked me for the gift. I could not get myself to ask for his signature. He was too happy about the gift and I genuinely was happy to give it to him. I felt that asking for his signature would do the exact opposite of what it was meant to do - it would make the receiver of the gift feel devalued. I couldn’t get myself to do it.

This was an experience that I recalled and it just blew me away all over again. How one small act of kindness could go such a long way and mean so much to a person. It was so easy for me to buy a chocolate bar and write a couple of words... yet the impact was on a much larger scale. Two years later he even asked my brother how I was doing! This was so sweet and shows a person really remembers those who take just a few minutes to do something kind.

I also thought it was crazy how we had to get signatures to do these 4 small acts of kindness. In the private school I had been in previously, we had to do 40 hours of community service to graduate! This was one of the many "culture shock" moments for me when I switched from my small private religious school to public school.

Anywho, on our way out of the school, we passed him again. He ended up remembering me, asking how I was doing and we had a nice conversation.

Bye College/Nursing School!!

My friends keep asking me how it feels to be officially done with college (finished my very last exam today😊). I knew this would be an incredible feeling, but never thought I would describe it as feeling as though I have come full circle. I took the opportunity to walk around the city a bit after and realized just how close my childhood memories are from campus (just down the street to be exact). I literally grew up in this town, yet I had forgotten that. I was so clueless that looking at old photos, I had not realized we had taken pictures in front of the very buildings I took pictures of today. As a kid, this place had a different meaning. Now, it means so much more. When I first started here, I never thought I would feel this way in the end- yet there is no other way I would want to feel and for this I am grateful. #grad👩‍🎓 #fullcircle#thenandnow

22 Things I’ve Learned in 22 Years (Birthday Post, April 21st)

1️⃣life comes at you fast so it’s ok to take things slow sometimes. Don’t rush what already goes by so quickly. 
2️⃣enjoy the journey instead of being preoccupied about the destination 
3️⃣there is a lot that can be learned from others so never underestimate someone else’s potential to teach you something 
4️⃣you don’t always have to be social. Sometimes being alone is a good thing 
5️⃣time is of the essence and patience is a virtue 
6️⃣the best friendships are those that pick up just as they were left off- like there was never any time apart 
7️⃣it’s better to try and fail than to never try and not know 
8️⃣Most “problems” are non-existent. If it can be resolved by action, then it’s not a problem 9️⃣smiling makes everything better (though resting bitch face is comfortable so I’m not saying that won’t be happening😬) 
1️⃣0️⃣ONE thing isn’t EVERYthing 
1️⃣1️⃣do what makes you happy, not what will make other people think that you are happy 
1️⃣2️⃣it’s the small actions and decisions that make big changes 
1️⃣3️⃣the only person you have to prove something to is yourself. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you want to be 
1️⃣4️⃣the universe doesn’t care if you’re unhappy and things won’t change just because you want them to... if you want change, then you gotta make moves 
1️⃣5️⃣don’t confuse thoughts/plans with actions. You may be thinking a lot about doing something and never actually take the necessary steps 
1️⃣6️⃣be positive and be kind- even when it’s hard (gotta work on these 🙃) 
1️⃣7️⃣be more afraid of not doing said thing, than afraid of doing it 
1️⃣8️⃣life truly does begin when you decide to be brave enough to leave your comfort zone 1️⃣9️⃣quality > quantity 
2️⃣0️⃣replace fear with excitement. Stop worrying about what could go wrong and be excited for what could go right 
2️⃣1️⃣don’t forget to remember why you started. Don’t complain about the decisions you made 2️⃣2️⃣be curious and be passionate. Ask a lot of questions and act on your intuition

The Most Important Step I Have Ever Taken (Worrying Doesn't Work Hard and Dreams Don't Work Unless You Do)

Just as I had discussed in my last post, I am currently reading a book called, "No Excuses!" by Brian Tracy. Brian Tracy is a world-renown motivational speaker and self-development author.

In his book, Tracy discusses several ways to become more disciplined in order to ultimately reach your dreams and goals. He shares statistics, history, and psychology in order to really bring his statements home.

There are so many invaluable lessons that I have learned from his book and I am only halfway through. I have already put his lessons into practice and feel that I have evolved as a person. My thoughts and mindset have changed. In a short week-and-a-half, I have become so much more self-aware, confident, excited rather than anxious, and productive! I want to share the one thing that has created these changes because it is so simple and life-changing! I recommend that you take out a piece of paper and a pencil. ALL YOU ARE REQUIRED TO DO IS TO THINK AND WRITE.

Write out a list of things you want to achieve in your lifetime. If you are not sure about so far in advance, make it within the next 5 years or within the next 10 years... whatever you want.

If you are not sure about what you want, write out what you think you may want. Or just write about what you know you for sure want. Whether it be to finish school, start a business, be able to afford a certain car you want, to travel somewhere... This is your personal life plan for success. You can do with it as you wish.

Then, like with an outline, under each goal, write out one, two, or more actions you can/need to take to achieve that goal. Are you going to save money? How will you do that? Will you talk to certain people? Who will you talk to? Are you going to break a bad habit? How are you going to stop yourself from doing that habit? Are you going to exercise more? How will you make sure you stick to your workout regimen (calendar, something motivational)? What are your resources for achieving these goals?

If you don' know the answers to these questions, then give
yourself some time to think about them. You can come back to your list whenever you want. You can edit it over and over.

Along with this list, write out a list of character traits you want to possess. If you were to be 100% happy with yourself, what characteristics would you have? If you were to envision the best version of yourself, how would you and others describe you?

Then decide that you are willing to work hard for these things. Decide that you are going to put in active effort to make these goals and dreams a reality. Decide that you are going to view your goals and dreams as plans.

You should begin to see that your focuses change now that you will have a clear understanding of what you want and what it will take to get there. Before I started writing down my goals, even though I knew what I wanted- everything was up in the air. I was thinking a lot, but not really doing much. I was hopeful, but not excited or active. Everything became concrete and I have started making moves that are actually helping me to move closer and closer to my vision for my future.

And remember this:

"Dreams don't work unless you do."
"Happiness comes when your life aligns with your blueprint."

Stick to Your Principles

If there is anything that I have learned through much trial and error, then it would have to be this.

With so many things in life, sometimes it is hard to say no, remind ourselves why we should or shouldn't do something, or simply just do the right thing. Whether it is turning something down, getting ourselves to do something we know we should, or just going about doing everyday things... most of the time we know what we should do and the consequences of not doing that said thing.

I am finally coming to learn and live by the idea of sticking to my principles.

What does it mean to stick to one's principles?

When I think about sticking to my principles, I think of:

• Knowing right from wrong (my personal rights and wrongs)- may not be the same for everyone and it doesn't need to be. 
• Being consistent- not wavering between something being okay and not being okay. I make something acceptable or unacceptable and keep those things under those categories. 
• Being disciplined!!!!- This is a big one and something I am learning to do every single day. We all are if we are conscious of it. I just started reading Brian Tracy's No Excuses! and am already almost halfway through. I am mesmerized by this book. It has opened my eyes to so many truths, that I have already started applying its ideas. 
• Being able to turn down an offer- even when people are trying to do something nice, it may not be necessarily what is good for you. It is not necessary to please everyone. You have to do what is right for you. 
• Not falling into peer pressure- other people can do what they want and that does not mean it's what you need to want or should want. It's okay to want and seek something different. 

I've learned that sticking to my principles is what will allow me to reach my goals and desires.
I have also realized that I feel better about myself and more confident overall when I remain true to myself and my values. This means that if something is not worth my time or energy, and does not make me feel good... then I will not invest myself in it.

We all have a gut feeling when thinking about decisions. Although some decisions are harder than others, most of the time we know what the decision should be. Listening to our gut feelings and trusting ourselves is one of the smartest things that we can do.

These are all concepts I am learning from this book, videos, and podcasts that I am spending my time reading and listening to. I feel as though this is a whole other way of understanding myself and the world around me. Everything becomes so much easier and clearer when we stick to our truths.

This is a major idea that I have learned and have begun applying to my life, and I will write about other concepts I admire as I continue to learn about them.

Spring Break 2018

This spring break was magnificent. This was my last break ever while in college, and it was everything I wanted it to be.
I didn't open a book or my iPad. I didn't look at my calendar (for those of you who know me, you know how big of a deal this is for me) or think about anything school-related.
I actually did everything I wanted to do, and more.

I have chosen to write about my spring break experience for several reasons:

1. It's my very last break in college so it is somewhat sentimental for me. 
2. I am inspired by how wonderful my break was. 
3. There are so many memories that I want to share. 
4. So I can look back at this one day and relish in the happiness. 

My break started off with a nice weekend at home. It was my first weekend in five weeks being home. The weekends before I was going away for Shabbat with friends (while this is so much fun, I needed a break)! Every weekend I went away I was traveling at least an hour each way, so I really felt the need to stay home and relax with my family. The awesome thing was that everyone was home and the weather was perfect. Shabbat was super relaxing and I really appreciated not needing to think about the week up ahead. 

Saturday night, as soon as Shabbat ended, I went up to Rutgers University to see a Russian comedian! I got to see two of my friends that I haven't seen in almost a year! The last time I saw them both was on my birthday, last April! We had been planning to meet up for the longest time but never got until now. After the comedian, I went over to my best friend's house on campus and got to see some more friends who I had not seen the week before- but who I still really missed and couldn't wait to hang out with! It was like a mini reunion and it made me really happy!!!

The next day, Sunday, I went over to the library and got to hang out with some more friends! It is always nice going back to Rutgers because I spent two wonderful years there. I really found myself there with these people, and whenever I am there it is as if nothing has changed. I sat in the computer lab for the first time since I had left the school (little things like that matter to me).

After spending most of the day on campus, I went over to my grandparents' home. They live near campus, so it was really convenient. I got to spend some time with them, which was really nice! I will soon be sharing their stories on my blog! I spent the evening with them talking about their lives in Russia and their immigration stories! I got the idea to write about them a while ago. I think it is important to share our history and to be aware of the struggles those before us had faced. It makes us stronger and more aware of where we are coming from. Then we had dinner and I stayed overnight. The next day I went back home to spend Monday-Wednesday with the family. I took it easy.

Thursday I went to a wedding in Brooklyn with my family. It was a lot of fun and nice to be in New York. I love New York! I feel like I belong there. That night I stayed in Manhattan and the next day chilled out with my sister and her boyfriend. Then I went over to Jersey City to meet up with my friend Rosalyn for yet another Shabbaton! We ended up rooming with two other girls, and all four of us hit it off really well! We had SO much fun together! We spent Shabbat with a bunch of really nice and interesting people. The view from Shabbat dinner (we were on the 11th floor of a building in Jersey City which is right across Manhattan) was incredible. We could see the Statue of Liberty and skyline from where we were. We stayed in a building that used to house Russian Jewish immigrants before resettling them in the city, which was very interesting because it's part of my history (well, sort of, since my parents and grandparents were Russian Jewish immigrants).

Saturday night we got to spend the night in an Airbnb for free! The apartment was so nice and in the perfect location- a 5-minute walk from the train to New York, and right by a bunch of bars and clubs. We went out in Jersey City Saturday night before coming back at around 2am. The next day we went into Manhattan! We got some breakfast before going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a private pre-Passover Tour.

There was a decent sized group of us, and we became friendly with the other people in the group- even planning another Shabbaton get-together! My sister came to meet up with me and we all went out for pizza together (even our tour guide)!

Afterward, we went into Brooklyn to meet up with some other people and got to see the best view of the city from the rooftop!!

Taking the Hard Way Out

Over the past several months, as I have been inching closer to my college graduation, there has been a lot to consider and to think about. 

One thing that I am really looking forward to, is possibly moving to the city where a lot of my friends live and where there is a younger scene. I have been giving this idea a lot of thought, and it brings me both a lot of excitement as well as fear. This will be the biggest step I will ever have taken.

Despite all of these fears and anxiety that comes along with taking this big step, I have still been strongly considering this move. Although I could easily just stay home where everything is provided for me and there are so many fewer things that I have to worry about, I would much rather do that which is more challenging. 

Why? 

Well, because taking the easy way out is never fun. You may be wondering what is fun about doing something that is hard. Well, my question for you is what is fun about doing something that is easy? It is during the challenging experiences when we really grow and develop as people. Doing what is easy and playing it safe rarely gives one what to be proud of.

I have also learned from experience that doing that which is hard, is oftentimes what usually brings me happiness and feelings of success. I think back to when I was struggling with shyness and social anxiety. I remember being afraid to talk to people or to ask a question in class. I realized that unless I would do that which I was afraid to do- I would continue to feel powerless, disappointed and simply unhappy. 

Later on, I would regret not having made those moves. I realized that the only way that I could feel good inside was to talk to people and ask questions in class. I realized that the more fear I had to do something, the happier I was when I did them. 

Even now I feel unhappy when I get anxious about things and allow my fear to take over. When I do that which brings me anxiety, I feel much more confident in myself and feel pride. If there is anything that I hate, it is losing an opportunity to make myself better. I am oftentimes very hard on myself and rebuke myself for not having said or done something which I had been afraid to do but knew was the right thing. We all have those moments. I think it is safe to say that I would always rather do that which brings me fear than later on feel that I did not do the right thing. Many times we fear what is right because the right decision is more challenging. 

And so you may be thinking to yourself, "taking the hard way out is not really taking a way out at all." However, I digress. 

When doing that which is harder, you are indeed taking the way out. You are taking the way out because it is what will benefit you in the long run. Doing that which is easy is cutting yourself short. Not that we should always search for things to be hard, but I’m just touching on the idea that the majority of things in life that will bring us pride and joy, will require us to overcome challenges and go out of our comfort zones. Doing that which is challenging conditions us to grow towards our goals and desires, which ultimately come with their own set of challenges. 

So I challenge you to do something you have been wanting to do which you haven't done because you were too afraid. I guarantee that you will feel so much better taking this hard way out into a world of self-fulfillment and internal happiness.