I Am Not Who I Think You Think I Am

An interesting realization that I would like to share:

I was listening to a talk by Simon Sinek and he was discussing how people care too much about what other people think. In fact, people tend to care so much about others' opinions, that they tend to act just how they think others would perceive them to be.

I realized that I tend to do this myself.

And I hate that.

I realized earlier on that I tend to act shy in environments where I think the people around me think I am quiet, loud in environments where I think people think I am social, nervous in situations where others would expect for me to be nervous, etc. This is obviously so delusional and silly... yet natural in a weird and annoying way. Perhaps because I feel that I don't want to step out of my bounds... the self-imposed boundaries, that is :/

However, I am a social person when I want to be social (and that's with certain people and in certain environments). I get nervous in front of big crowds though not as nervous as others probably expect me to be. I could be quiet at times, but it's not because I'm shy.

I should act according to who I want to be and not how I think others think I am or should be. This is so obvious but I think more people do it than we realize. I think this is why it is so important to be aware of who you are and more importantly how you see best fit to conduct yourself. It is important to not just go with the flow and be who and how others expect us to be. We should act according to our values and visions. I think the best way to ensure this is to just be aware and keep ourselves in check.

Also, isn't it interesting how there are certain obvious truths that we as individuals may not recognize until someone points them out to us? I was recently talking to a friend about various aspects of life that I came to recognize. He said that he appreciated hearing my perspective on life and situations because I bring up points that he may not have ever thought about. I responded with the idea that conversing with others is so important for that very reason- because we learn and expand off of one another. What I realize and pull away from something he may not have thought of... and vice versa. This is the whole idea of being able to learn so much from others- just as I had learned such an important truth by listening to Simon Sinek.

I have started becoming an avid listener of Simon Sinek's and so would like to share one of my favorite videos of his:

Also, a quote that my friend had shared with me that I really appreciate. There are so many hidden truths that may not even be that hidden... but sometimes it may be harder to see them.

“You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer”

- Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke

A little act of kindness can go a longer way than you think

The other day I went for a walk with my mom. There was finally nice weather, so we decided to take advantage and walk a couple of miles. We parked our car at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and walked over to my sister’s school down the road. I graduated from the high school almost exactly four years ago. At this time, soon graduating from college, it was interesting for me to be back.

As we were walking toward the school, I noticed that some of the buses had already started to line up by the front. As we walked toward the school, I remembered that my bus was always the first one in the line of buses. I noticed a bus was standing in the exact same location as the bus I used to take. I mentioned to my mom that it may be the same bus driver from four years ago. As we walked by the bus, my mom and I smiled and waved to the driver, who kindly smiled and waved back at us.

Now you may be wondering why I would have any interest whatsoever saying hi to my bus driver from four years ago. I mean, it would be nice... but like that was four years ago and he has had many students before... so what does it matter to me?

Four years ago as a senior, I had an assignment for one of my classes. Every student had to do four nice things for four different people. This seemed like a nice idea... except we had to get signatures for the acts of kindness. I thought about who I should give my last gift to, and it wasn’t hard for me to decide to give it to my bus driver. He was always very nice and smiled every morning when I came onto the bus. He was a very quiet man but I noticed that he always made sure to say good morning to me. Just that simple gesture in the morning meant a lot to me, and so I figured my saying good morning to him every morning meant a lot to him as well.

So on one of my last days of school, right before getting off the bus, I made sure to hand him my gift. It was a chocolate bar with a letter attached to it that said, “thank you for all you do! I hope you have a nice day!”

I was not expecting his reaction. His face lit up as he looked up at me and shocked, asked, “this is for me?” He was so touched and thanked me for the gift. I could not get myself to ask for his signature. He was too happy about the gift and I genuinely was happy to give it to him. I felt that asking for his signature would do the exact opposite of what it was meant to do - it would make the receiver of the gift feel devalued. I couldn’t get myself to do it.

This was an experience that I recalled and it just blew me away all over again. How one small act of kindness could go such a long way and mean so much to a person. It was so easy for me to buy a chocolate bar and write a couple of words... yet the impact was on a much larger scale. Two years later he even asked my brother how I was doing! This was so sweet and shows a person really remembers those who take just a few minutes to do something kind.

I also thought it was crazy how we had to get signatures to do these 4 small acts of kindness. In the private school I had been in previously, we had to do 40 hours of community service to graduate! This was one of the many "culture shock" moments for me when I switched from my small private religious school to public school.

Anywho, on our way out of the school, we passed him again. He ended up remembering me, asking how I was doing and we had a nice conversation.

Bye College/Nursing School!!

My friends keep asking me how it feels to be officially done with college (finished my very last exam today😊). I knew this would be an incredible feeling, but never thought I would describe it as feeling as though I have come full circle. I took the opportunity to walk around the city a bit after and realized just how close my childhood memories are from campus (just down the street to be exact). I literally grew up in this town, yet I had forgotten that. I was so clueless that looking at old photos, I had not realized we had taken pictures in front of the very buildings I took pictures of today. As a kid, this place had a different meaning. Now, it means so much more. When I first started here, I never thought I would feel this way in the end- yet there is no other way I would want to feel and for this I am grateful. #grad👩‍🎓 #fullcircle#thenandnow