What is your goal in life?
What is it that you are working towards?
Maybe you aren't in the position to say that you are currently working towards a specific goal.
Maybe right now you are looking for what exactly you want to be working for.
Many people, however, would respond to this question by simply saying "happiness".
"I want to be happy."
My response to that would be, "Wait, you're not happy right now? What do you mean by happiness? Do you not have everything you want? Do you feel that there is something important missing in your life?"
All too often people focus on the idea of happiness, failing to notice everything that comes in-between.
This, though, is the wrong way to look at life.
Why?
First off, life is a journey and its about the journey. I have so much more to say about this and if you want to read more about it, you can read an older blog post of mine, Enjoying the Journey (it will open in a new window.)
This is a broad topic, but all I will say is that two of some of the greatest joys in life are building yourself and working for something you love. These also fall under the category of some of the scariest things we people have to face because they go hand in hand with the painstaking feeling of uncertainty.
I once heard a man by the name of Aaron David Miller say, "Nobody offers truth on a silver platter. It's a search and its hard." There aren't always clear signs telling us what we should do or who/how we should be. We have to figure that stuff out.
And that's what life is all about, ain't it?
But think about how great it is. There are so many options in this world. There are so many things that we can do, so many things that we can experience- and those of us who are blessed to have the freedom to do what we want to do, should take advantage of all that life has to offer.
This is not to say that the end results don't matter!
After all, those what we are working for.
What I'm saying is that it is during the journey that you will experience some of the best times of your life, and it is when you will feel most inspired. At least for me. I attain a goal, revel in my success, and then am ready to work towards my next goal.
How does this connect to happiness?
Happiness is not an end result, it is a way of life- just as life is about the journey.
This leads me to my second point- too often people define happiness as things. We need something to feel happy for or happy about.
I used to do this all the time! I had an unhealthy mentality.
I was always searching for something to feel happy off of.
The best example I could give you is school.
I would always set my happiness on my grades. If I didn't get the grade that made me feel good about myself, I was unhappy.
It really wasn't until this year- my first year of college- that I realized something very simple:
I have done well on many exams during my lifetime. I feel good about the fact that I do well, but sooner or later, there is another exam. And every time, I act and feel as if the grade I get determines my self-worth, and wether or not I will have a happy life.
Rubbish.
I might feel great about the fact that I did well on my bio exam, but life doesn't stop there. Then I have a chemistry exam that I need to do well on. I might not do well on it. Then I won't be happy. But then I will have another chemistry exam and do well. Then I will be happy.
I really thought about it. I may have done well in Chemistry I last semester, but might not do as well in Chemistry II this semester. But then I might do well in Physics next semester. Then I will be happy. (?)
The point is that good times come and go. Things change. So DON'T SET HAPPINESS ON SHORT-TERM VARIABLES.
I was just bouncing back and forth between satisfaction and disappointment.
I had to work on changing my mentality from that way of thinking, to understanding that life should be thought of as the entirety of your past successes and your future goals- rather than thinking of it as the little aspect of your life (ex: upcoming exam) that you are focusing on at the current moment.
This leads me to my third and final point- happiness is about how you go about life.
When people say that they want to be happy, they have the opportunity to be happy right at that very moment.
What are they waiting for?
Money? Love? A new car?
They will get whatever it is that they want, but sooner or later, there needs to be more to it than just that thing. That so-called happiness will fade.
They will get something new?
Is that really happiness?
Here are some things you can do to feel true (notice I am not using the ward "attain") happiness:
- Make a list of what you should be happy for every day. This will serve as a good reminder when you're feeling unhappy about something.
- Make a list of all your past accomplishments- this reminds you that even when life gets hard, its not always going to be hard. In the same way- life may be good, but it won't always be good. Life comes with hardships and challenges. And thats not completely bad. How can we feel happy if we never feel sad. We need to appreciate the happiness- and the only reason we do is because we know how it feel to not feel happy.
- Understand that life isn't always about feeling happy- it's ok to be unhappy sometimes. The most important thing is that you are finding your way to be the best person you can be.
- Keep it on your mind that your goal is to be the best that you can be- even though life is rough at times, you're not letting it get to you. You are continuing along your path, and knowing that will be a great source of pride and encouragement for you.
- Realize that sometimes the smallest things in life can make a huge difference- doing something nice for somebody else, or walking to class instead of taking the bus on a beautiful day.