Building Meaningful Relationships at Work

I finalized my flight to Israel 🇮🇱today!

Since I will be going abroad for several months, I needed something temporary in between taking my nursing boards and leaving.

I decided to do a medical affairs internship so that I can make some money, and to give me something to do with my summertime.

This experience has ended up being so much more valuable than I thought it would be. Not only have I learned a tremendous amount about the other aspects of healthcare (which are VAST, let me tell you), but I have also acquired vital knowledge about work-space social life (which is more important than I realized).

When my friends asked about my finally being done with the dreadful nursing board exam (officially an RN!!), I told them I was taking the rest of the summer to just relax.

"By getting an internship?" they asked with confused faces. 

Because I love my experience with this internship, it doesn't even feel like work. I attribute this to the relationships I have with my coworkers and to the work environment.

I have learned a tremendous amount about work relationships and the importance of having a healthy work environment. I have found that the best way to make relationships into something meaningful is to simply put meaning into your relationships. This means actually caring about the people with whom you want to create relationships. Care to know what they're passionate about, things that make them laugh, things they hate...

And you will end up learning so much more than you can ever imagine.

For example, my one coworker and I have two opposing political views. However, we feel comfortable discussing why we believe what we believe... and agreeing to disagree. I'm not saying you should go around talking to everyone about your political views (because some people don't know how to agree to disagree), but I am saying that true interest in hearing what another person has to say and interest in what another person has to offer... allows you to learn other perspectives. I have learned so much about the way people on her end of the political spectrum think. I have learned how to communicate better with those who have other views on such heavy topics.

We take the time to discuss our hobbies and have inside jokes now! All this makes working here so enjoyable because I feel comfortable with these people and we feel a mutual understanding between each other.

Not all jobs are as flexible as this one, perhaps. Here, we are in a single office. We spend several hours together every day that we are here. I know, for example, with nursing there is not as much time to sit down and talk... however there are windows of opportunity and taking that energy to get to know your coworkers and the people with whom you spend so much of your time... is so absolutely worth it and necessary! You will feel more excited for work, and not dread the long hours (or at least not as much as you may have otherwise).

The most important lesson that I have learned is putting in the energy to develop relationships with others... and that it doesn't even always take much energy. You may be surprised by how much you actually enjoy certain people on a personal level.

Next time you go to work, take a genuine interest in learning at least one thing about a coworker. Ask a question with genuine curiosity. Make sure to remember an important day of theirs (birthday, wedding, my coworker is prepping for a marathon so I make sure to ask about her training). There is nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Oh, and always 😊 and say good morning ☀️

Replace Anxiety with Excitement

Sometimes life can be scary. We have to deal with the unknown, intimidating situations, and scenarios that we may not feel equipped to handle. 

But did you know that there is a way to turn fear (negative connotation) into excitement (positive connotation)???

Some time ago I heard of the concept that fear and excitement are activated in the same part of the brain and that the brain can actually be tricked into believing that something fearful is actually exciting. 

"Fear activates the hypothalamus in the same way as excitement, and when it’s predictable it activates the brain’s reward center as well. And that really gets at the heart of the matter. We don’t like fear per se, we like predictable fear. It gets the limbic system fired up, making us feel more alive..." - Alex Korb, Ph.D. (Reference: here)

Just being aware of this fact, and not even necessarily understanding exactly how it works, is enough to help us become more cognizant of our opportunities to make stressful situations more bearable... if not completely exhilarating.

Next time you feel anxiety or fear....instead of focusing your energy on not being nervous or trying to brush off the nerves, think about how this experience can or will be exciting. 

Taking an exam? 
Think of this as an opportunity to showcase your skills.

Public speaking?
You are getting to share something important with others. You are working on yourself and making yourself better. 

Interview?
You are creating new opportunities. New doors are opening for you.

In life, there is already enough to be nervous about. Don't sweat the small stuff. If you can help it, try to find the thrill in things. 

How you can allow time to be on your side

Today I would like to write about something that I have started taking extremely seriously. 

Time. 
Hours. Minutes, seconds. 

They all add up. Before we know it, time has forever slipped out of our hands and there is absolutely nothing that we can do to get it back. If anything, we can only learn and agree to use the rest of the time that we have left- to do more and be more than we were previously.

The good and the bad news is that time is finite. This is a good thing because it reminds us of the value of every moment. We aren’t just existing. We are creating realities in a measurable spectrum, in an immeasurable capacity. We have so much potential as human beings to create, imagine, and bring about change. 

It is extremely unfortunate that despite this immense potential that is existent within and by us people(yes, people create potential because we are the cause by which potential has come into existence because it is we who hold this potential)... so many of us allow it to slip away aimlessly. Or rather, we devalue our time by spending it and using it on means which have no value or purpose at all. 


Think about all the time that you spend and all of the activities on which you spend that time. What percentage of your time are you doing something that is actually benefitting you? How much time do you aimlessly spend on your phone or computer? It’s way too easy to lose something that is so valuable, to things (and sometimes even people) who have no value to us whatsoever. 

So how can you allow time to be on your side? 

By being conscious. By being aware. By caring about how you spend it! By taking small steps throughout your day to question if you are spending your time in a valuable manner. By saying no to certain things. By planning just how you are going to make sure that you not waste anymore time than you already have!!! (Will soon be making a blog post about how planning actually helps with reducing anxiety, though this may seem obvious to some). 

Try to become more conscious of how you spend your time and who you spend your time with. Make it a goal for yourself to be able to honestly say that every moment you spend is an investment to your short and long term happiness, success and worth. 

After all, time was given to us for free. The time we have now was not payed for. We didn’t have to fight for time on this earth. We didn’t have to work hard to be born. Perhaps what came after wasn’t all that easy, but you have time on this earth either way. So take it and do the best that you can with it. Take advantage of it. 

Investing in yourself is your greatest asset. Time is not on your side (but only if you don’t allow it to be).

The Purpose Factor

There comes a point in one's life when he or she realizes that the future is entirely in his or her hands. For me, this point was graduating from college and passing my nursing board exam (YAY!!!)

Up until this point in life, everything was protected by a cushion. You know, living at home and off of mom and dad. Some individuals choose to protect themselves with this cushion up until their late 20s, if not later. Others, like myself, have a desire to be independent. We appreciate the guidance and support given to us by our parents or whoever raised us, but we also understand that it's important to be able to stand on our own two feet. I personally feel privileged to be able to move upwards in life and have the opportunity to build my own life separate from everything else that I have always had.

This idea that I was pondering yesterday on my way home from work, had me thinking about something that someone said to me a very long time ago. This always stuck with me, and I laugh about it every so often.

I was about 6 or 7 years old, on the bus ride home from school. It was time for me to get off of the bus and so I started gathering my stuff and unbuckling my seatbelt. As I was doing so, the girl sitting next to me turned to me and asked, "Deb, did you know that I'm rich?"

Now, you may be wondering what this may have to do with growing up. Stick with me here.

I remember thinking to myself... first, what does it mean to be rich? Like, I genuinely did not know what it meant to be rich and why she was telling me this. I was so confused. I mean, I grew up very comfortable too, but I never had my parents telling me that we were rich or had it better than others. I was only about 6 years old anyway, so what 6-year-old goes around talking about being rich?

As I grew older and started encountering this "I'm rich" mentality, I began referring back to this initial exposure I had to such self-inflation and monetary obsession.

What really was interesting to me though was how young people my age were SO proud of their parents' wealth or high social standing. It was as if they themselves had some sort of influence on their parents' success too. These kids were walking around like they conquered the planet because their parents were successful. I always found that to be so frustrating. My parents are also successful and have always offered my siblings and me everything we needed (and most of the time what we wanted). However, there was a balance and there was exposure. We were taught that hard work was the cost. We always had nice things but knew that not everything had to be the most expensive or the most high-standard.

The other day as I was scrolling through my social media feed, I saw a photo that someone posted with her new Mercedez. I felt part of me looking at the photo wishfully, considering how nice it would be to have a Mercedez. However, as quickly as that thought entered my mind... I then became encapsulated by another idea and a different mindset that I would like to carry forward.

"What is the purpose?"

Not that we shouldn't buy nice things and share our excitement... I'm all for it! However, seeing someone else have something and THEN considering how happy you would be to have said thing... isn't that absurd?!

I all of a sudden realized the ridiculous notion of rich, expensive, high-end, call it what you want...

Because what is the purpose? And what is the value of all that?
How would having a Mercedez make me happier? Maybe it is more comfortable, but do I really need it to be happy? Is it really worth my time looking at it and considering how happy I could be with it?

And that takes me back to the beginning story of the "rich" girl.

I think that it is when we understand the value of all that we have and the price it takes for all of those things... when we truly realize what is actually important. At least in my case, thinking about being financially independent... sure I will splurge on nice things here and there. But when you have worked hard for what you have earned, you should putt all that hard work and effort towards things that will make you feel true happiness (I'm not actually telling you what you should do with your hard-earned money. You obviously decide. To each his own. However, perhaps consider this stance).

True happiness, I think, is living with purpose. When one has a purpose and lives according to the blueprint of that purpose, everything else seems to fall into place. Once I became aware of what truly mattered to me, I stopped looking at labels as much as I used to. I stopped looking at what other people had. I stopped caring so much about what I didn't have. I started realizing that I don't need certain things to achieve my purpose. And so, therefore, those objects are not needed for me to be truly happy. 

Furthermore, when you become independent, you start realizing that you have to supply the lifestyle that you want or once had. Just because your parents had the ability to do and buy all these things for you, doesn't necessarily mean that you will. It's time for you to step up, put in the hard work... and decide if all that stuff is really even that important. I certainly plan to continue the quality of life that I have always been blessed to have, but this is a whole different chapter. I think it's rather exciting to see how my opinions on these matters might change.

I am fully aware that not everyone thinks this way. Heck, many people make money just to spend it on more material things. However, I think this mentality that I just shared is important to consider.

From now on, I have decided to ask myself this question whenever getting enchanted by an object or idea.

Does this align with my purpose? Does this align with my blueprint? Will it help these factors in any way?

If the answer is no, turn away from those things and find what does align with your purpose and your blueprint. You will end up happier (truly happier) in the long run.

I Am Not Who I Think You Think I Am

An interesting realization that I would like to share:

I was listening to a talk by Simon Sinek and he was discussing how people care too much about what other people think. In fact, people tend to care so much about others' opinions, that they tend to act just how they think others would perceive them to be.

I realized that I tend to do this myself.

And I hate that.

I realized earlier on that I tend to act shy in environments where I think the people around me think I am quiet, loud in environments where I think people think I am social, nervous in situations where others would expect for me to be nervous, etc. This is obviously so delusional and silly... yet natural in a weird and annoying way. Perhaps because I feel that I don't want to step out of my bounds... the self-imposed boundaries, that is :/

However, I am a social person when I want to be social (and that's with certain people and in certain environments). I get nervous in front of big crowds though not as nervous as others probably expect me to be. I could be quiet at times, but it's not because I'm shy.

I should act according to who I want to be and not how I think others think I am or should be. This is so obvious but I think more people do it than we realize. I think this is why it is so important to be aware of who you are and more importantly how you see best fit to conduct yourself. It is important to not just go with the flow and be who and how others expect us to be. We should act according to our values and visions. I think the best way to ensure this is to just be aware and keep ourselves in check.

Also, isn't it interesting how there are certain obvious truths that we as individuals may not recognize until someone points them out to us? I was recently talking to a friend about various aspects of life that I came to recognize. He said that he appreciated hearing my perspective on life and situations because I bring up points that he may not have ever thought about. I responded with the idea that conversing with others is so important for that very reason- because we learn and expand off of one another. What I realize and pull away from something he may not have thought of... and vice versa. This is the whole idea of being able to learn so much from others- just as I had learned such an important truth by listening to Simon Sinek.

I have started becoming an avid listener of Simon Sinek's and so would like to share one of my favorite videos of his:

Also, a quote that my friend had shared with me that I really appreciate. There are so many hidden truths that may not even be that hidden... but sometimes it may be harder to see them.

“You are so young, so much before all beginning, and I would like to beg you, dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer”

- Letters To A Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke

A little act of kindness can go a longer way than you think

The other day I went for a walk with my mom. There was finally nice weather, so we decided to take advantage and walk a couple of miles. We parked our car at the nearby Dunkin’ Donuts and walked over to my sister’s school down the road. I graduated from the high school almost exactly four years ago. At this time, soon graduating from college, it was interesting for me to be back.

As we were walking toward the school, I noticed that some of the buses had already started to line up by the front. As we walked toward the school, I remembered that my bus was always the first one in the line of buses. I noticed a bus was standing in the exact same location as the bus I used to take. I mentioned to my mom that it may be the same bus driver from four years ago. As we walked by the bus, my mom and I smiled and waved to the driver, who kindly smiled and waved back at us.

Now you may be wondering why I would have any interest whatsoever saying hi to my bus driver from four years ago. I mean, it would be nice... but like that was four years ago and he has had many students before... so what does it matter to me?

Four years ago as a senior, I had an assignment for one of my classes. Every student had to do four nice things for four different people. This seemed like a nice idea... except we had to get signatures for the acts of kindness. I thought about who I should give my last gift to, and it wasn’t hard for me to decide to give it to my bus driver. He was always very nice and smiled every morning when I came onto the bus. He was a very quiet man but I noticed that he always made sure to say good morning to me. Just that simple gesture in the morning meant a lot to me, and so I figured my saying good morning to him every morning meant a lot to him as well.

So on one of my last days of school, right before getting off the bus, I made sure to hand him my gift. It was a chocolate bar with a letter attached to it that said, “thank you for all you do! I hope you have a nice day!”

I was not expecting his reaction. His face lit up as he looked up at me and shocked, asked, “this is for me?” He was so touched and thanked me for the gift. I could not get myself to ask for his signature. He was too happy about the gift and I genuinely was happy to give it to him. I felt that asking for his signature would do the exact opposite of what it was meant to do - it would make the receiver of the gift feel devalued. I couldn’t get myself to do it.

This was an experience that I recalled and it just blew me away all over again. How one small act of kindness could go such a long way and mean so much to a person. It was so easy for me to buy a chocolate bar and write a couple of words... yet the impact was on a much larger scale. Two years later he even asked my brother how I was doing! This was so sweet and shows a person really remembers those who take just a few minutes to do something kind.

I also thought it was crazy how we had to get signatures to do these 4 small acts of kindness. In the private school I had been in previously, we had to do 40 hours of community service to graduate! This was one of the many "culture shock" moments for me when I switched from my small private religious school to public school.

Anywho, on our way out of the school, we passed him again. He ended up remembering me, asking how I was doing and we had a nice conversation.

Bye College/Nursing School!!

My friends keep asking me how it feels to be officially done with college (finished my very last exam today😊). I knew this would be an incredible feeling, but never thought I would describe it as feeling as though I have come full circle. I took the opportunity to walk around the city a bit after and realized just how close my childhood memories are from campus (just down the street to be exact). I literally grew up in this town, yet I had forgotten that. I was so clueless that looking at old photos, I had not realized we had taken pictures in front of the very buildings I took pictures of today. As a kid, this place had a different meaning. Now, it means so much more. When I first started here, I never thought I would feel this way in the end- yet there is no other way I would want to feel and for this I am grateful. #grad👩‍🎓 #fullcircle#thenandnow